Late Nite Tunes: Metallica - Unforgiven

I always thought Metallica was the second best metal band at telling a story (second only to Iron Maiden). This video is pretty interesting, and just a tad creepy.

The Awkward Homecoming

Old Blue has an excellent post up on The Sandbox about how coming back to the states from Afghanistan has been a malaise-ridden experience. He summarizes society's attitude toward war in our modern era:

The apparent inattention of the American public to the war, the seeming lack of support for the task, even with the apparent support for the individual, is something that requires some getting used to. It was my life for nearly a year and a half, counting the spin-up time and the deployment itself. To find it so trivialized in the daily life here is, for some reason, mildly disturbing.

The "mildly disturbing" feeling seems to be common amongst many in the milblog community, and is likely representative of the larger group of veterans who feel alienated from the mainstream. So much attention gets focused on WWII-era homecoming parades with smooches and victory signs, but it really isn't like that these days. You get into the airport stateside with a stack of paperwork wondering why all these travelers are going about life as normal with a war on. You realize that you have to deal with bullshit like getting the electricity turned back on at your house and figuring out what to do with the registration on your car that expired. Maybe you'll get to do it with your spouse that first night back, but that's only if you're married. Silly little things that life sends your way end up becoming frustrating endeavors. I personally don't believe that people "owe me a homecoming" or coerced kudos, but the fact that life hasn't changed at all in America is psychollogically defeating. A deployment changes the way you view reality. This includes a tolerance for the melancholy of routine, a mild sense of accomplishment, and not getting too worked up about the frivolous things in daily life that our society attaches so much importance to. Things like sitting around in traffic listening to radio commercials, working all week so you can go golfing on the weekend, and looking down awkwardly when people ask you where you have been the last year just don't happen on deployment. It's all such bs. Fortunately, blogging seems to be at an interesting point in time as a very influential cross-culture. At least I can always fill up my free time doing this shit.

George Washington Skipper and XO Get Canned; Smokers to Blame

The CO and XO of the carrier USS George Washington have been relieved of command (h/t Stupid Shall Be Punished). WTOP reports:

The announcement by the Navy came as Adm. Robert F. Willard, commander of the U.S. Pacific Fleet, relieved the carrier's commanding officer, Capt. David C. Dykhoff, and the executive officer of duty, Capt. David M. Dober.

Willard said he lost confidence in their ability to command and their failure to meet mission standards after the investigation found that unauthorized smoking by a crew member appeared to have ignited flammable liquids and other combustible material that were improperly stored.

This was a pretty nasty fire that took 12 hours to put out. Many of the Shipyard workers from round here in Bremerton have been sent to San Diego to fix the ship, with damage estimates at $70M. The fact that it was started by smoking will ensure that there will be new Navy-wide regulations to curb nicotine consumption on ships. While out at sea near Guam, we had a refrigerant leak and couldn't smoke for about 30 hours while underway. It was one of my worst days in the Navy...and that's saying a lot! Here comes the morale crushing effects of the Big Navy in 3...2...

50 of DC's Most Butt Ugly People

The old adage that Washington DC is "Hollywood for ugly people" certainly holds true after viewing the The Hill's 50 Most Beautiful People. Frumpy, no-makeup chicks in pants suits, dudes looking like they just walked out of the frat house, and old stodgy types that look like they had their soul crushed from years of working in our nation's capitol. Damnit, East Coast, get with the program. Don't you know that West Coast females with tattoos, piercings, and fishnets are way better lookin'? Here are two examples of the best DC has got:Botox-injected female Republicans. Can you feel the romance brewing?
Apparently, bowl cuts are moving from a trailer park phenomenon to the upper echelon of DC fashion.

Also, TSO had his feelings hurt because he didn't make the cut this year for DCs most beautiful. If politics is Hollywood for fugly people, then bloggers are like sewer mutants. But I think TSO, would have put all these wonks to shame.


What do you think?

Green Party Kook Alert: This Duff's For You

Duff Badgley: Green Party Candidate for WA Governor

The pamphlet for Washington State's odd "Top 2 primary" arrived in the mail today, and you can't have an honest to goodness Governor election in America without a bunch of weirdos throwing their hat in the rink. Washington is already pretty crunchy and littered with treehuggers, so you know a third-party that thinks the big dogs aren't green enough is going to bring the crazy. Case and point is the Duff Badgley campaign, whose snappy turtleneck and wire-rim glasses just scream prestige. The space given in the pamphlet to the candidate describes a WA Governor that "must convene a Climate Emergency session of the legislature now to enact emergency World War II-type laws". The following are just some bullets to take the great state of WA into the stone age found on the Green Party's website:

• Outlaw Single Occupancy Vehicles (SOVs) except in counties currently with no public transport

The West coast isn't exactly known for its public transit, and most folks drive to work. By shutting down the prime method for people to get to their place of employment, it may have a negative impact on the local economy. Also, how would this law be enforced? Would the cops arresting the majority of people on the roadways in the Puget Sound area be allowed to go solo in their police car?

• Divert hundreds of acres under roof at Boeing Co. from airplane production to mass production of solar, wind, wave and tidal power generating equipment

When a politician attacks the monacle-wearing evils of big business, it's wise to leave out the company that is one of the biggest provider of jobs in the state. During his fascist seizure of local industry, Duff might also want to consider forcing Microsoft to make "No Blood For Oil" screensavers, and Starbucks to only sell hemp bracelets.

• Establish all WA trees as a ‘common good’ aiding climate, needing permit to kill

Treating foliage like people has a lot of ramifications. I accidentally hit a shrub with a weed-whacker the other day. Does that mean I'm complicit in assault with a deadly weapon? I hope this doesn't make me lose my security clearance.

Also, a possible campaign ad for the Green Party suggestion box, which could help spread da meme:

Late Nite Tunes: GG Allin - No Rules

Sometimes you have to ask yourself, What Would GG Do?

41 Years Ago

The Forrestal fire, the worst on any of the Navy's carriers, was 41 years ago this day in the Gulf of Tonkin. 134 sailors were killed due to malfunctioning weaponry followed by burning jet fuel, and it is widely viewed as one of the worst accidents in the post-WWII Navy (along with the Thresher). It took 24 hours to put out the blaze, and anyone in the Navy knows how dangerous a fire on a ship is. Coincidentally, John McCain (LCDR McCain at the time) was on the ship at the time (h/t Gateway Pundit for the vid).

It's the Geezers, Stupid

The Gray Panther Mafia And Their Endless Power of Geezerdom

Confucius often talked about respecting your elders, and he once said "Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?". Yeah, well...Confucius didn't have to put up with swarming hordes of Rascals at the mall, and ancient drivers, who can barely see over the damn steering wheel, driving 45 in the left lane when you're trying to get to work. These very same people are going to be voting in record numbers according to Politico, and expect more and more of your taxdollars to fund busloads of blue-hairs to clog up nuckel slots at casinos across the country with their social secuirty checks stapled to their head. Despite the fact that the country is at war(x2) on the other side of the world, social security spending still manages to beat out ALL DoD spending, and the presidential candidates are terrified to criticize this sacred cow. Obama wants to raise payroll taxes, and McCain favors personal accounts, but either way, seeing that money during retirement is unlikely after the ravishing mob of baby boomers waste it all on Botox and organic foods.

For all the talk about the Youth Vote this election cycle, it's all a bunch of smoke and mirrors as the AARP has every politician in every political party in their backpocket. Same old bullshit!

Ahnold Saves LA From Mother Nature

Arnold in his Governor Chair in Sacramento: "Get Down Everybody!"

There was a 5.4 earthquake with an epicenter just east of LA in Chino Hills today, and luckily there have only been reports of minor injuries and damage. The Governator held a press conference where he discussed mother nature's wrath and measures the state government had taken to prevent calamity:

We are trained and we practice those things that there is immediate action, the more you debate those things is the more you waste time.

Ahnold proceeded to discuss how he was on the horn with the LA Mayor and Sheriff. That's all well and good, but after successfully defeating the Predator, Dynamo, and the corrupt Martian authorities, you'd think he have a bit more in his arsenal than just making phone calls.

Los Angeles has always been a city waiting to broil over in riotous violence or perhaps just sink into the sea. Which sucks, because it's a really cool city known for its smorgasboard of culture and hot babes. I lived there for 4 years, and it's hard to put into words, but that place is like living in the barrel of a loaded gun, and you don't know what the hell is going to set it off next. Luckily, this quake was just a little tremor.

Studies Say to Read C.H.U.D. Busters

New one up on the crazy brought by World Can't Wait.

Mr. Awesome and the Lord of The Nerds

My brother clued me in on the bizarre sub-culture of retro arcade gaming by showing me The King of Kong. It's a hilarious documentary about the trials and tribulations of attaining the top Donkey Kong score (obviously, there was nary a chick to act as groupie for these poindexters). There is extensive discussion of how the top scores are recorded. However, the best character was definitely Mr. Awesome, who seems to be the Patton of the bunch, replete with military cum London police officer regalia, sporting a row of ribbons that are unrecognizable.

Apparently, he is a proud patriot with the top Missile Command score as evidenced by this YouTube clip reminiscent of "Triumph of the Will":



But the elitist authorities in the retro-gaming world won't recongnize his top score! Maybe his schtick is a bit too abrasive. After watching the below video, I can't imagine why people wouldn't like the guy:

Something Good On MTV...Yes, Really!

Usually when you think of MTV, it's all about the crass commodification of culture and stupid teeny boppers getting new BMW SUVs. But IAVA put out an email alert for a show called "Homecoming" , which has rapper Kanye West visiting with Iraq vets suffering from PTSD. The picture above is Tirann Laws, who is having trouble adjusting to normal society in OKC, but isn't running around the woods like Rambo as the press often depicts vets with PTSD. Pretty powerful stuff (I'm watching it right now) that shows a younger audience the face of veterans. Read more at from the NYT here.

Blogger Justice

So some knut in Knoxville brutally massacred two people at a Unitarian church. Apparently, he did it because he didn't like liberals, the voices in his head told him to, or some combination of both (who knows, he's crazy). The forensic investigation wasn't even completed, when HuffPo already started equating this lunatic with every right-winger in America (h/t Hot Air):

Who really killed those Unitarians? Was it the preachers who spread hatred and intolerance? The politicians who court and flatter them instead of condemning their hate speech? The media machine that attacks liberals, calls them "traitors" and suggests you speak to them "with a baseball bat"? The economic system that batters people like Jim Adkisson until they snap, then tells them their real enemies are gays and liberals and secular humanists? If you ask me, it was all of the above.

For a site that sounds the outrage alarm by creating a fictitious narrative of racism in the campaign, they are being a bit hypocritical by utilizing a recent tragedy in their endless quest for political power. So much for that moral authority. Would you compare all liberals to the SLA or FARC? Are all military members like this guy? Obviously not.

6 Months For Scissorin' With A Student?

P.E Teach, Ryann Springer, to Spend 6-months in The Clink For Tryst w/Student

From the high school just down the road from me (near the trailer park), comes a story that has become all too commonplace in modern teacher-student relations. The local paper explains:

After apologizing directly to her victim for her “bad judgment,” a former South Kitsap High School teacher was sentenced in Kitsap County Superior Court Tuesday to six months in jail for sexual misconduct with one of her students.

“I should have been the adult,” said Ryann C. Springer to the 17-year-old, who was joined by dozens more students, colleagues and family members of the 25-year-old defendant in the packed courtroom. “This was a very selfish decision I made, and I want you to know that nothing was your fault — it was all my fault.”

While completing her first year teaching in SKHS’s athletic medicine department, Springer was arrested in May after the Port Orchard Police Department learned she had begun a sexual relationship with the student months prior.

Hmm... It's understandable that a man would go to the joint for at least 6 months if he boffed a female student. Men are much more likely to conduct sexually assault than women, and the judge is going to take steps to correct this behavior and prevent future occurrences (and rightfully so). But how often do you hear about women sexually assaulting someone? Never...that's how often. That's probably why the victim told the judge these words laden with hilarious innuendo:

Springer’s victim then addressed the court, describing her former teacher as someone with a “huge heart” that “went out of her way to help people and make them feel better."

“She always put her students first, and I looked up to her as a role model,” the teen said through tears. “She was much more than a teacher."

Sounds like the student was a "satisfied" customer of the Kitsap county school district, heh heh. Sure, the teacher probably should've been fired and forced out of town...but 6 months?!? That seems a bit harsh.

Agitprop on Active Duty

The Army Captain that penned the email heard round the blogosphere about Obama blowing off the troops in Afghanistan is currently in the shits because he made a bunch of it up to flex his political leanings. The rules for talking agitprop in uniform and on the blogosphere can be found here, but it's pretty much taboo in the officer corps to discuss politics at all. Taco from The Sandgram outranks the Army CPT in question, and has first-hand knowledge of what really happened at Bagram. He sums it up pretty well:

I read the message, thought about it for a minute and then emailed back, “This guy will be in deep “do-do” soon”, and he will have learned the first major rule of this war; anything you email back home will be forwarded to hundreds if not thousands if you have something interesting to say. See, emails have the half life of an Atom, thus, you must have a second set of eyes review what you say, because guess what cyber world…we as military members are not free to say whatever we want.

That's right. The military is a unique organization and the Bill of Rights is null and void. The running joke in the service is that we protect freedom and democracy by use of a totalitarian system bogged down in senseless bureaucracy.

If not engaging in political debauchery on the blogosphere is the standard for the military, I am certainly in the wrong, along with many others. But the Army Times hasn't written an article about me, because I've managed to follow a few simple rules. Some advice to the CPT Porter from the rest of us:

• When writing a hit piece, ensure that it is somewhat believable. Obama is probably not going to blow off the troops with camera crews everywhere. Say something like he thought the Afghans spoke Arabic, which he did once previously.
• If blogging/emailing from a government computer, tell your superiors that you are engaged in a statistical study to gage public opinion on your organization. After hours of goofing off on the internet, say that no one knows about your unit in the public, and that you told the PAO to "Get On It".
• Don't use your freakin' real name and unit when you publish bullshit on teh internets. What are you? New?

Happy B-Day, Ms. Kiyum

It's frequent commenter Ms. Kiyum's birthday. I have no idea how old she is, because if you ask her, she'll probably drop kick you in the face. She did admit to having the hots for CNN bad-boy, Anderson Cooper (does Mr. K know about this?) and should probably start her own blog because she's hilarious.

Word.

Crocker Says Insurgency is Pretty Much Done in Iraq

The Insurgency Got More Desperate Over The Years...

Ambassador Crocker doesn't strike me as a guy prone to bullshit about Mission Accomplished, and last year he famously told the Senate Foreign Relations Committee that one word summed up Iraq...fear. So when he recently talked with reporters about how the insurgency was just about done, there is reason for optimism:

"You talk to people (Iraqis), and they just say, `Never again. We almost destroyed ourselves,' " he said in an hour-long interview. "There is almost a kind of embarrassment over it: 'How could we Iraqis do that?' "

His characterization of the state of the insurgency was striking, given its central role in the more than 5-year war and its proven ability to adjust, regroup and recruit. Crocker did not assert that the insurgency was dead, but he came close to casting it as having surrendered the initiative and lost its appeal.

Of course this didn't come with a lot of hard work and life lost on the battlefield. Fallujah 2004, Najaf 2004, Tal Afar 2005, Ramadi 2006, Dora 2007, Baqubah 2007, Mosul 2008...the list goes on and on. Never forget.

Air Power!

Oops, My Bad!

To my pals in the Air Force, what the hell are you doing?!? ABC News reports that three officers were busted schnoozin' while they had custody of ballistic missile launch codes at the Minot air base in North Dakota. There's very little tolerance in the military when it comes to nukes, and some missiles that accidentally got flown cross-country resulted in the military and civilian heads of the Air Force to get shit canned. The media may try to present an objective viewpoint, but a good rule of thumb for these sort of fuck-ups is if you are reading about it in the news...it's a pretty big boneheaded mistake.

Big Energy Plans For The Air Force

The Politico discusses initiatives within the DoD to improve energy efficiency and the politics associated with a greener military. Apparently M1151 Hummers and Strykers loaded to the gills with armor get rotten gas mileage...go figure! It's certainly not a bad idea to save cash through conservation and alternative energy, but Congressman Israel's (D-NY) proposal seems a bit too hippy for Uncle Sam (foreign oil being the biggest threat to national security in his mind). So Deputy SECDEF England fired a zinger:

Defense Department officials know there is a problem, Israel said, but they also are well aware that it can’t be fixed overnight. Israel once pressed Deputy Secretary of Defense Gordon England to conduct a national competition for an energy-efficient naval propulsion system. England sent back a picture drawn by schoolchildren in crayon — of a boat with oars.

Heh heh. I wonder if Israel's office is taking ideas for the Air Force:

Here's some more legitamate ideas regarding alternative energy for the USAF from Danger Room that doesn't involve a cat flying an airplane while dropping vegetable bombs.

Campaign Wars And Videodrome

So Obama gave some big speech in Berlin to giggling German teens and McCain had to explain his surge comments in the cheese aisle like a schmuck. It's not looking too good for McCain...but, the Obama campaign could one-up him further by just playing this karoke version of "We Are The World" with the whole crowd singing along:



Man, that's a good tune. Anyways, since both the Republicans and Democrats can get dull at times, here's the latest from the Libs with a snazzy video on freedom. Alternate viewing can be found from Alice Cooper's Freedom video.

Best Way To Get To This Blog

Being a blogger makes you a shameless narcissist, endlessly questing for more and more traffic and links to compensate for your pathetic existence. Sitemeter provides a way to see how people find your place, and I thought I'd share this Google search that currently leaves LT Nixon Rants as the 4th site on the first page:

"Can You Get Pregnant Through the Ass"

I'm no doctor, but I think...yes? Although, you may be looking like The Hunchback of Notre Dame, ladies.

Surviving The Hope and Change Apocalypse

Don't Expect The Media To See Trouble Ahead

Sen. Obama's toughest issue was probably gonna be Iraq, primarily since he staked a lot of political capital in The Surge failing...and it didn't. Therefore, logic would follow that connecting Obama with Iraq in the media would lead to a dip in his poll numbers, but he actually remains the front-runner. The media has a serious boner for the guy, and they're much more likely to seize on McCain's geezerly gaffes than berate Obama for flopping on issues. Your normally snarky left-leaning bloggers wouldn't dream of spiting the Obama messiah, and the only conclusion one can reach at this point is that Obama has got 4 years of the presidency locked up. Anyone with a remotely conservative ideology on any issue is probably going to get left behind like a prom-night dumpster baby.

It's best to concoct a rule of guidelines if you're not exactly feeling the "Hope and Change", because the paradigm is a-shiftin' and the country is going to be different, and, also, I can't flee the country until my service is up in mid-2009. Of course, I'm a Lib, so I'm perpetually disgruntled anyways.

Advice:

• Taxes are going to go way up to pay for all Obama's swell federal programs. Plan on establishing an offshore account in the Cayman Islands, or, if you aren't a wealthy CEO, just blow it all on booze n' hookers before the IRS can get their mitts on it.
• The proverbial "Smug" is going to be emananting profusely from liberal cities like Boston, SF, and Denver, since many there believe that the government is the patron saint of all things righteous. Avoid the gaggle of bumper-stickered Volvos by taking a one-year job in Antartica.
• Left-leaning political humor blogs (e.g. The Onion, Wonkette) are going to become really boring as they have no Larry Craig-type Senators to lampoon. Write emails to these websites encouraging them to transform their image into freaky fetish sites.
• Liberals sometimes think that anyone who doesn't subscribe to their ideology is some social miscreant masturbating to pictures of assault rifles. Play up this stereotype by walking around town with a sawed-off shotgun, a "Get the U.S. Out of the U.N." patch, and a trench coat to readily expose yourself.
• Supporting the war against Islamic extremists is more important than any one presidential administration. But Obama should be blamed for everything else wrong in the world including why there aren't more pandas and that stupid cankersore on the left side of your tongue.
  
• Remember, they say "Suicide is Painless" and it should always be kept on the list of options.
  

The Surge Is Over

It is Done

It's official! The last of the 5 additional combat brigades sent to Iraq in 2007 has redeployed says the military. While the additional troops isn't the sole reason for improvements in Iraq, it was crucial in providing stability. The statistics speak for themselves:

Graphical analysis of attacks, w/peak in June 2007

For a little bit of context, let's look at then (early 2007) and now (mid-2008):

• Then:Chlorine car bombs in Fallujah...
• Now:KFC in Fallujah
• Then:Anti-Al Qaeda Sheiks assassinated in Baghdad's Mansour hotel...
• Now:Tourism forum in Baghdad's Mansour hotel
• Then:One of the worst months in U.S Fatalities (126 in May 2007)...
• Now:The least worst month (19 in May 2008)
• Then:Al-Askari Mosque has minarets destroyed by terrorists...
• Now:Mosque being rebuilt
• Then:Moqtada al-Sadr considered a powerful cleric in Iraq with backing of the Mahdi Army...
• Now:Who the fuck is Sadr?
• Then:NY Times Op-Ed that suggestgs things are going well in Iraq is incredibly controversial...
• Now:American media only talks about Iraq if Obama shows up
  

For Those That Can't Let Go

So I was watching this Mr. Belvedere opening sequence for reasons that shall remain private, and I thought "Hey, they should put all the stupid crap from the past in one place". Well, lucky for us, they do over at RetroJunk. It was at this site that I found information on Captain N, a Fred Savage PSA, and a crazy Japanese commercial for Gyromite. Pretty cool for those that have a lingering mistrust of current cultural trends.

Kirkuk...Possible Trouble Ahead

Welcome to Kirkuk, Iraq

While reports of Colonel Sanders' delicious chicken in Fallujah and Baghdad trying to woo tourists are certainly positive, let's not forget about potential pitfalls for the young democracy. Long ago (2006), the Iraq Study Group mentioned that the competing ethnic/tribal elements in Kirkuk along with its oil riches could be a potential powder keg. The Iraqis were supposed to settle the issue of how the city would be partitioned at the end of 2007, but the U.N. got the deadline for referendum extended. That deadline is now, and a journalist has been murdered, a judge has almost been assassinated, and the Kurds have walked out of parliament...twice in the last week. The McCain/Obama political jabs are occupying media land, but let's not forget about the important shit.

Awesomely Terrible Tats

Mike Riggs of Reason wasn't very impressed that some snooty baby boomer at WaPo called us youngsters with tats "losers". But Richard hasn't seen some of these monstrosities below. Check it:

Anything Referencing The Wizard for life takes some serious commitment...or a lobotomy

White Pride tats obviously done in prison. This may have prevented a shanking at the time of inking, but now it just makes you look like an asshole

Did you know Jesus was a trannie? I saw him cruising for anus in West Hollywood once

3 cars for 3 rolls = 3 times the fun for 3 sweaty drunk guys

My wife the motherfucking zombie. Talk about a lousy honeymoon

Mr. Ice is a pretty common name, but Mr. Cool Ice is something unique

Surge...to the extreme!

The Surge gets trendy?!?

When Mr. Obama's Goes to Baghdad, you know his true believers in the blogosphere are going to be hemming and hawing about it until the cows come home. Arguments about what has reduced the violence in Iraq have been "refined" to make Obama the patron saint of policy. Check out these stats, teh bloggeRZ are going nuts:Obama's interview with Katie Couric is so damn confusing and contradictory, that it'll be pretty tough for the netroots to save the day for the messiah. Maybe they'll try to sweep it under the rug. And then you've got old man McCain, doing the time warp and hearkening back to the great surge of 2006, when the increase to 20 combat brigades didn't happen until June 2007. The gaffemeister strikes again. And you wonder why so many Americans hate politics.

Anyhoo, here's a guy on NPR who knew a lot about Counter-Insurgency before it was cool (h/t to Matel in Iraq for this breath of fresh air). According to him, the reduction of the U.S. military presence and the strengthening of the Iraqi government is a good thing. What a novel idear!

America's Representatives in Iraq, Will It Make Americans Not Stupid?

Listen Up You Civilian Pukes

Iraq has seen a resurgence in media coverage as Sen. Obama has dropped into Baghdad for situational awareness. I actually think dog and pony shows like this are a beneficial matter for diplomacy, since it highlights America's commitment to our allies, shows the Iraqis that our leadership hasn't forgotten about them, and helps establish long-term relationships (our beloved founding fathers were big on this). But Obama totally bricks on a Nightline interview, according to AllahPundit, and it shows that his visit was just some lame campaign stop:

Q: If you had to do it over again, knowing what you know now, would you support the surge?

A: No, because, keep in mind that…

Q: You wouldn’t?

A: Keep in mind… These kinds of hypotheticals are very difficult. Hindsight is 20/20. But I think that, what I’m absolutely convinced of, is that at that time we had to change the political debate because the view of the Bush administration at that time was one that I just disagreed with.

Can this election get any more stupid? HuffPo had a total stroke-piece about Obama saying he embodies everything great about America and the rest of the world would be jizzing in their pants at the thought of Obama coming to their humble nations. But if Obama is the cumulative sum of the American people, I'd have to be a little concerned.

I don't wanna be a dick and get mad at the American public who paid for the clothes on my back, the computer I'm typing on, and my inevitable alcohol-related liver failure that will have to be paid for with your tax dollars after living the Navy life...but yeah...I'm gonna be an asshole (and believe me I'm not speaking from the ivory tower of intellectual thought here). The American people have been wrong on damn near everything with Iraq.

• An overwhelming majority of Americans supported the initial invasion to find WMDs that weren't there
• An overwhelming majority of Americans thought The Surge was having "No Impact" last year
• Populist blogger Kos sez that "The American people want out. They don't care that some general wants to keep our troops in." But this statement is incredibly vague, and the "general" he is refferring to is actually a 4-star Admiral
• The ignorance from the public on Iraq in even the most cursory facts (such as casualty figures) is both embarrassing and terrifying in a time of war.
  

Expect the bickering to go on forever and ever between the McCainiacs and the True Believers (Obama's people) about nuances with the inevitable Iraq withdrawal, but I just hope the pundits and the candidates listen to someone who knows what the fuck they are talking about (Petraeus, Crocker, uh the Iraqi leadership, etc.) Unforuntately, Obama looks like he's mad that Amb. Crocker (who has an extensive resume in the Middle East) isn't photogenic enough for that money shot on the campaign trail. Too bad Obama wasn't paying attention when Crocker was telling him what the fuck was going on in Iraq.

The Key To Fiscal Responsibility in Health Care: Fatfuck, Uninsured Smokers

A True American Hero (gender of hero remains in question...)

Put away the Pilates ball, lady, and stop going to the gym, you health-obsessed meathead loser. Turns out the key to our healthcare crisis is for people to smoke 2 cartons of Chesterfields a week, be unashamed lardasses, and eat at Jack in the Box as much as possible (the drive thru is 24/7 for a reason). The logic is that people who kick the bucket early cost society less money in the long run. From the Seattle Times:

Let's put it bluntly: Longer lives cost more money. Those who make it to 90 thanks to exercise and six daily servings of vegetables are more likely to suffer the expensive ravages of old age. Everyone dies of something. So he who avoids a fatal heart attack at 70 is more at risk of cancer at 80. Those extra 10 years can mean extra CT scans, hip replacements and physical therapy, even for those in relative good health.

So next time some fat fuck's rolls of cellulite are drooping into your personal space on an airplane, give him or her a high five! Next time your aunt is sucking down a Virginia Slim through a trach-hole, tell her to keep up the good work! Unless you social engineering types want to implement some Logan's Run style scenario, I suggest everyone take up some unhealthy habits.

The Dutch (lightyears ahead of us puritan pukes in the states on progressive issues), have already started a "One and Universal Smokers of God" church to help us reach enlightenment. As late-great GG Allin said: Live Fast, Die Fast.

Military Funeral

Sorry about the hiatus. I was attending the funeral for my Grandfather and Grandmother at Arlington National Cemetery (they passed away within three weeks of each other). My gramps was a Silver Star and Purple Heart (x4) recipient during WWII, and the service provided by the civilian and military staff on the hallowed ground was truly amazing. My Father asked me to publish the eulogy, and it's an excellent testament to their life. Check it out:

June 10, 1945

Oriong Pass, Luzon, Philippine Islands.

The 2d Battalion, 145^th Infantry was given the mission of passing through the 3d Battalion in order to force the entrance to Oriong Pass, Luzon, Philippine Islands, which was strongly defended by a reinforced battalion of enemy. Company E, 145^th Infantry, was given the mission of advancing along Highway Number 5 to secure a bridge which was dominated on either side by towering hills. As the company approached the bridge, the leading elements were met with a hail of rifle and machine gun fire. A minimum of five heavy and light machine guns, emplaced on the high ground to both flanks, were sited with deadly accuracy on the 75 yard stretch of road leading to the bridge. The company continued to advance until two squads of the leading platoon had worked across the bridge. At this time, the entire fire power of the defending enemy force was placed on the leading platoon and supporting elements of Company E. By 1430, five men had been seriously wounded or killed in the fight and the position of the squads across the bridge had become critical.

Captain R.A., Company Commander of Company E, went rapidly forward along the road shoulder toward the bridge to extricate the leading platoon from its precarious position. The enemy, from his excellent points of observation on both flanks, noted the activity and immediately interdicted the road with knee mortar, machine gun and rifle fire. Captain R.A., without hesitation, advanced to the point where his leading platoon was receiving a deadly rain of fire. Upon arriving he made a visual reconnaissance to determine the locations and strength of the enemy, and in order to gain better observation walked to the center of the road, at his full height. An enemy rifleman on the other side of the bridge directed his fire on Captain R.A., seriously wounding him through the throat and face. Bleeding copiously, he staggered a few yards and collapsed on the road 50 yards from the bridge. While lying in the road, the Captain continued to search the area ahead in order to direct the fire of his men.

As the fire fight increased in intensity, Major Stephen L. Garay, Regimental Operations Officer, left the forward Regimental Command Post, and advanced a distance of two hundred yards. Oblivious to the rifle and machine gun fire concentrated on the road, Major Garay rushed to Captain R.A.’s side and by his cool presence of mind, undoubtedly saved his life. The position of the wound prohibited the use of a tourniquet, so Major Garay, in a matter of seconds, applied a Carlisle bandage and succeeded in stemming the heavy flow of blood, until the Company aid man, Technician Fifth Grade Jesse D. Womack, came forward.

While they applied compressions, Captain R.A. passed onto the Major all the information that his reconnaissance had netted, together with his suggestions as to advisable counter-action to be taken. Major Garay and Corporal Womack then procured a stretcher and evacuated the wounded officer. The road was still under small arms fire and the problem of evacuation presented extreme difficulty. The litter was carried a distance of 125 yards to a defiladed position where plasma was administered.

Captain R.A.’s willingness to expose himself to the observation and bitter fire of the enemy and his persistence and devotion to duty in spite of a dangerous and painful wound made the subsequent withdrawal of his company possible without further casualties. Had it not been for Major Garay’s prompt action at the critical moment when Captain R.A. lay in the road on the verge of death, it is entirely probable that the wounded officer would have bled to death.

Captain R.A., 23 years old at the time, and Major Garay were each awarded the Silver Medal. I was quoting from the recommendation letters written to the commanding general of the 37^th infantry division in September 1945.

There are many lessons to be learned here. You probably heard these at high school commencements, but I think since you all knew R.A., it gives these lessons additional context and depth.

Clearly we see the incredible level of courage, of persistence, of duty, of risk taking and of shared sacrifice. These are self-evident.

I want to also talk about 2 lessons, that aren’t quite as obvious.

One is the thin line between success and failure. If the bullet that went through his neck had been 1 cm farther over, a mere centimeter, it could easily have severed a major blood vessel.

If that had happened, even the heroic efforts of Major Garay would have been for naught. Bill and Emily wouldn’t be at this memorial today. And for Meryl, David, me, and the grandchildren – we wouldn’t be here, at all.

But we are here in Washington D.C., next to Arlington National Cemetery. And who knows how many other men, children, grandchildren and great-grand children are alive today because of the actions on a remote jungle road in the South Pacific on that hot and steamy day in June, 63 years ago.

Another lesson needs to be viewed in the broader context of R.A.’s life. As you know, after having enlisted in the army on December 8, 1941, he finally made it home to Dearborn in 1945. He married E.B.. He went to work at Ford, or “Ford’s,” as it was called in our house. He became an executive there. He worked with a lot of storied people in the auto industry, like the legendary “whiz kids,” one of whom was Robert McNamara. He had a heart attack there in 1972, when he was younger than I am today, and he went to work the next day. He didn’t even know it was a heart attack until months later when he finally went to a doctor. He spent 37 years at Ford. The last 8 years he worked for Ford were in, of all places, Japan. At the time, Lee Iacocca, a name you may have heard, called R.A. into his office to discuss this potential overseas assignment. Knowing R.A.’s war record, he asked R.A. if going to Japan to build a Far East supply base for Ford is something he would do. And this is where I see the lessons of professionalism, magnanimity, and perhaps even forgiveness. Japan, the bitter enemy that he helped defeat, became our parents’ home for 8 years. He helped source billions of dollars of components from there, and so, in his own way helped to rebuild Japan into what is today one of our strongest allies.

Let’s turn to E.B., because there are some great lessons here too. As you know, R.A. was a really smart guy, with 2 degrees from the University of Michigan. I think he was academically ranked third or so in his high school class at Dearborn Fordson. But I know who ranked higher than him – that was E.B..

Both E.B. and R.A. grew up in Dearborn. Their parents, my grandparents were from the “old country.” E.B.’s parents had immigrated from the Ukraine and R.A.’s parents from Italy, both around 1912. So, E.B. and R.A. both grew up with immigrant parents with next to nothing during the Great Depression. E.B. worked her way through what is now Henry Ford Community College and Wayne State University, taking the street car to get to school. She became an elementary school teacher during the war years.

After the war they got married. And they stay married for 62 years, R.A. preceding E.B. in death by a mere three weeks.

E.B. was very bright with a very strong personality and probably could have done a lot of things on her own, but she chose the role of wife, stay-at-home mom and caregiver to the family. I know when I was 11 years old and broke my arm, it was E.B. who calmly took me to the hospital. When R.A. showed up and saw my twisted arm, it put him in a state of near panic.

So what are some of the lessons from E.B.’s life? There is the lesson of self-sacrifice for the sake of R.A.’s career and the family. There’s the lesson of being a team player. A boss once told me that a great team player is a person who plays their position really well. “The Team” – R.A. and E.B. made a great pair. R.A.: Loud and enthusiastic, but with no sense of direction, always over-indulging in food, and at many times oblivious to whatever might be going on around him. E.B.: Calm, dutiful, dignified, keeping all four wheels on the cart, and keeping the cart heading down the road in the right direction. I even grow nostalgic for their bickering, every jab of her “Hartwell humor,” parried with his “Chase Road wit.”

As they approached their mid-80’s, the last few years became more and more difficult. There were numerous trips to Beaumont Hospital and both of them proved resilient through numerous medical problems: R.A. had two major open heart surgeries, cancer and diabetes. E.B. had cancer surgery and a blood ailment, which I’m not sure the doctors ever quite figured out, but it left her weak and jaundiced much of the time. About 3 years ago, as R.A.’s mental faculties started to wane and he became unable to get around without someone pushing him in a wheel chair, we finally moved him to a nursing facility just up the road from their home. E.B. would visit him every day. Finally, E.B. couldn’t make the trips unassisted herself. So the daily trips slowed to once a week when someone could take her. Still she persisted and remained resolute. On a quiet Sunday afternoon last month, R.A. peacefully passed in his sleep. We had a wonderful reunion at the visitation. Many people were there who I had not seen in years from the days in Spain and Japan, many friends, many of the old warriors from Ford purchasing. It was especially nice for E.B., because she got to visit with all these people, what turned out to be, one last time.

E.B. also passed away, just three weeks after R.A. I feel fortunate that Emily and I were with her at the end. Why she died so soon after R.A., I don’t know. Whether it was her own failing health, the stress of R.A.’s passing, or just missing R.A., I don’t know. I’ll always believe it was the last.

And so tomorrow, we will bury them together in the consecrated ground at Arlington National Cemetery. We’ll miss them both. Thank you.

When World War II came to a close, Captain R.A. had been awarded the following medals for service to his country:

Purple Heart with 3 Clusters

Bronze Star with 2 Clusters

Silver Star

The Distinguished Unit Citation

Here's some pics to provide context:

Brothers from the old country circa 1916 (Great-Grandfather is one of them)

CPT R.A. (Grandpa)

E.B. in her younger years (Grandma)

Funeral Procession at Arlington

The Greatest Generation indeed! Where admirable and iconic lives are commonplace.

Link For The Day and Hiatus...

Sorry, I have to wake up early and go to the airport, and I promise to be back with photographic proof that I wasn't at a brothel. Here's your link for the day at Something Awful:

Nintendo Power: The Lost Pages

It might be a bit esoteric in that you have to be between the age of 25-35 to catch the humor here, but good for a chuckle.

Grand New Party and a New Creepy Breeding Program

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Like Republican Pod People seeking to dominate American society, Ross Douthat and Reihan Salam advocate tax benefits for married couples who haphazardly breed as a method of wooing working-class voters in their new book "Grand New Party". Ross Douthat is one of those Atlantic smart-kid types, and Reihan Salam had the gall to badmouth the classic movie Fletch (not winning a lot of friends over on this end). Anyways, Kerry Howley offers her impressions of the book seeking a new GOP paradigm at TPM:

Privileging one, dominant idea of the family comes with costs that R&R never really grapple with in their breezy book, and those costs fall almost exclusively on one gender. Through the tax code, R&R wish to change the relative prices of women's options, rendering childlessness more costly and early motherhood less so. They want the federal government to stake a position on the proper role of women, and that role involves a heterosexual marriage with children. While conceding that this is politically infeasible at the moment, R&R write that "we should be willing to stigmatize illegitimacy by tying a tax relief to responsible parenting." (Responsible parenting=parenting by legally married couples.) This is a policy that punishes poor women unable to find marriageable men, gay and lesbian partners unable to access legal marriage, and any other number of people who are responding rationally to their environment, doing the best they know how for the kids they have.

Please allow me to be more blunt. Children already get help from Uncle Sucker, as property taxes pay for the schooling of these filthy, little urchins. Now this "modern conservative" wants to reward "responsible" parenting with tax benefits, which would imply that the federal government should set some kind of "societal standard" about what a proper parent is. This represents the lack of respect for a constitutionally-limited republic, and shows a willingness by the new political zeitgeist to buy off votes from the public troff. Totally shameless seems to be the new norm.

The unintended consequences of government-intervention in this regard range from the average joe's taxes going up to some Brave New World type scenario to breed beneficial voting patterns for whoever is in charge. Douthat and Salam seek to capitalize on cultural conservatives values with the promise of the government cheese, but they oughta know that the best things about the American government is a constitution to keeps the King of England out of your face, laws providing for natural rights of our citizens , and strong military/law enforcement institutions to keep enemies/criminals from destroying society. Everything else is just politicians trying to rip you off.

Post-Iraq Psych Screening Account

Moooonnn Riivvveerrr! (Well, It Wasn't That Bad)

Since the way military medicine and the VA handle PTSD after Iraq/Afghanistan deployments has become a political football, I thought I'd provide a frank account of the required post-deployment psych screening I had to get today at medical.

• Weight/Temp/Blood Pressure? For some reason, whenever you walk into a Navy medical center (even if to just use the head) they feel the need to weigh you, jam a thermometer down your throat, and take your blood pressure. What this is supposed to determine about my psychology, I'm not sure.
  
• Doctor Also a LT: There's a certain casual atmosphere whenever you talk to someone of the same rank in the Navy. The Doctor was also an O-3, so the jokes were free flowing and your experience may differ depending on your rank...
• Dead Bodies? The headshrinkers are very interested if you've been around dead bodies or seen people killed. This would obviously contribute to PTSD-like symptoms.
• Nightmares: I would be lying if I said I had no nightmares, often where I'm running away from explosions, but I can only run really slow. The Doc was interested in these nightmares, and I told him they were becoming less frequent. We then moved onto the next subject.
• Explosions: An inherent survival tactic in the Sandbox is being able to judge the distance and severity of an explosion or a "thud". This instinct doesn't just turn off when you're back in the real world. Often a slam of the door makes my heart knot up and raises my heartbeat for a couple of seconds. The Doc was pretty interested in this, but I told him it was going away...so we were onto the next subject.
• Depression: The Doc asked me straight up if I was a sad sack. I guess that's one way of diagnosing PTSD.
  

The screening was adequate, and not just filling out a bunch of silly forms. It was also mandatory, and the only way to avoid being diagnosed if you had PTSD would be to actively hide it. Of course I have the luxury of being Active Duty, and waiting on the phone for 3 hours with the VA when you need help might be a less pleasant experience.

Newsweek on Iraq

I think Newsweek magazine might be the last American "moderate" magazine. The conservatives think it's staffed with a bunch of hippies and the liberals think it's Rove propaganda. Maybe that's why I try to read it. Anyhoo, ex-Marine David Botti is doing an embed in Iraq. Pretty cool stuff here, here, and here.

Sahwa Checkpoint in Karrada, Baghdad (photo from Botti)

Down The Memory Hole

Obama's statement about The Surge on his website has been disappeared like a Stalin-era political adviser, and Gateway Pundit has the scoop on something they missed (oops). It's appropriate that Obama's attitude on Iraq shift based on current realities, but it would be nice if he acknowledged his mistaken thinking that the surge was going to fail. Shit, the military blames itself for blunders all the time. Careful though, don't call Obama "arrogant", because that's code for "uppity", and that would make you worse than Hitler.

More Expert Economic Analysis From LT Nixon

I don't know shit about the economy. This is the product of having a somewhat stable profession and living a low class lifestyle. But when there's "thousands of customers", as the LA Times puts it, withdrawing money from a bank seized by regulators, I think that's not good. The IndyMacBank website has a link directly to an FDIC webpage entitled "Failed Bank Information" that encourages the bank's customers to "continue paying their loans" and not make a run on the joint.



Even the Jimmy Stewart theatrics can't save this place. This does not bode well.

Disgusting Mormon Calender Gets Holy Roller Excommunicated

I can't say I know too much about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, except that

• 1) They're the biggest religion to have begun in America,
• 2) I've met a lot of Mormons in my travels (particularly in the service) and they seem like swell people,
• 3) They founded Las Vegas more or less,
• 4) They own Pepsi and Taco Bell (later revealed by a colleague to be not true)

So I never understood the ruckus that many have made about the "horrors" of being a Mormon. Maybe it's because I'm not religious in the first place, and don't think one is particularly better than other...but hey that's just me.

Anyhoo, the LDS receives the highest praise from this agnostic in their latest announcement to excommunicate the purveyor of this sleazy calender featuring shirtless Mormon missionaries.

Disgusting!

First off, there is nothing attractive about the male figure, and, second, all attempts must be made by like-minded bloggers to eradicate this type of filth from the internet.

The protocol of proper, stimulating photography must be maintained on the internet, since this was the intended use of the technology. An example of the correct use of the internet is the Girls and Corpses site, which combines the best of both worlds (namely hot babes and zombies) into one erotic package. Score one for the good guys!

Now We're Onto Something!

Anheuser-Busch Sells Out

Hope You Own a Beret, Spuds

Well, the Budweiser brewer has been bought out by the Europeans for the low price of $50 Billion bones (story at Breitbart). InBev is the acquiring company and they boast such tasty worldwide brews as Labatt's, Stell Artois, and Bass. I've got nothing against our new European overlords, but there is a bit of a cultural divide between Europe and her boorish American cousins. For instance, the "Real Men Of Genius" series may change to Kraftwerk enouraging beer drinkers to drive responsibly on Der Autobahn. Also, beer prices may rise slightly, which would lead to an imminent collapse of society. Budweiser has done so much for our country, Because U Deserve What Every Individual Should Enjoy Regularly. Farewell!

Sub Pop Turns 20

Proof That Seattle Hasn't Been Taken Over Yet By Yuppies (photo by Josh)

The Space Needle flew the Sub Pop flag, which is a fitting icon for Seattle's cultural heritage. While grunge can't solely be attributed to Sub Pop records, it was definitely a key catalyst. I spent the better part of the day lounging around at the SP20 Festival, which celebrated 20 years of Sub Pop not going out of business. I don't recognize new bands these days, but it was pretty cool (yeah, yeah, I'm getting old). I remember when grunge first started getting big, and here's a Nirvana flashback for ya (Bleach was released on Sub Pop).

Texas is the Reason that the President's Dead

More music, Misfits - Bullet. This is really easy to blog, and I'm drunk and incapable of abstract thought, so enjoy the video. A good montage from this guy.

More Music For The Weekend, Motorhead

A metal cliche, but a classic tune. Are you gonna hear lines like "Double up or quit, double stake and split" in modern music? No. It's going to be some douchebag whining about his girlfriend. Youngsters, stick with me, Wek, Spencer, and Maj Pain for a schooling in awesome music. I'm concerned with your generation.

The Stock Market is Depressing

I admit to being a complete bonehead on economic issues and the rise and fall of the stock market (I'm an engineering major that's been in the Navy, cut me some slack). But I always know that the economy is in the shits when the media starts rolling out pictures of disheveled and pissed-off traders in New York. Some examples and their implied meaning:

"This job totally bloooows"

"What Do You Mean Short-Sell, you motherfucker"

"Tell My Wife There Won't Be a Christmas!"
"My Head is About to Explode Like The Dude From Scanners"

"I need A Fuckin' Drink"

Fortunately, the media is able to explain to us simple folk outside the Wall Street sphere of influence whether or not there is reason for alarm.

One More Song For The Weekend: Ministry

Scholarly Wek serves us up Sepultura's Refuse/Resist and I've got one more video to cue up:



This is Ministry - New World Order, which incorporates a lot of footage from the 1992 Los Angeles riots. For those too young to remember the Rodney King verdict and the subsequent riots, it was a bad time for America, almost as if society was going to completely collapse. Enjoy the vid!

Closing Time Slayer

Slayer - Seasons in the Abyss for closing time, early morning Saturday wakeup, or if you're just deployed in the abyss. Classic Slayer, enjoy.

Obama Yuks it Up With Military Times

Since Obama is the front runner in recent polling, it's probably best to get acquainted with his policy on the military and foreign issues. Military Times has some pretty in-depth interviews on video over on their site and here's a quick breakdown free of obscenities:

• Private Security Contractors: Obama says that third-country nationals employed by KBR in the DFAC is okay, but he is concerned with security contractors involved in armed engagements. Most contractors are decent people just trying to make a living, but the rule of law is ambiguous as it applies to the few yahoos. This has negative effects on our mission in Iraq and Afghanistan, and I agree with the senator here.
• Accountability of Officers: Obama says military officers need to be held accountable. I don't see why he needs to ramble on about this issue (it's pretty much a given, like talking for a minute-and-a-half about the sky being blue). He seems rather uncomfortable talking about the specifics of the military, showing his experience and knowledge of military jargon is a bit limited. But that's not to say the President has to be versed on the specific day-to-day routine of the little people, but I sure hope he gets some damn good advisers if elected, because he'd be the boss.
• On SECDEF Gates: Obama has words of praise for Secretary of Defense Gates. I agree. Gates has been an apolitical cabinet member who's expertise is focused on improving military morale while prosecuting two concurrent wars (not an easy job). However, Obama remains ambiguous about whether or not he is going to keep him on.
• Calls for repeal of DADT: Obama wants to scrap Don't Ask Don't Tell and allow gays to serve openly. They do in every other profession (except some religious institutions), and it's a bit embarassing that the military is still behind the times on this.
• Improve the VA: Obama takes swipes at the Bush Administration about poor care of veterans, but doesn't talk much about how he is going to improve it. Blah, blah, something about McCain proposing a corporate tax cut, blah, blah. It's crazy how political veteran benefits have become, and Obama is not helping with this segment.
• Leaving Iraq: Obama says he won't do a preciptous Iraq withdrawal, but encourages a responsible one. His policy is a bit vague, but it's a bit difficult to make definitive policy when the reality in Iraq changes in such a heartbeat. Of course, now that Maliki want a US troop withdrawal and violence is down, why would it be controversial to argue against a withdraw? Ed Morrissey agrees that "it's okay" to advoacte a responsible withdrawal of military forces in Iraq.
  

Obama seems keen on a few military issues that have broad support (repeal of DADT, and VA benefits), but his foreign policy still seems a bit vague at this point in the campaign. It'll be interesting to keep up what the candidates are saying as events happen overseas. Obama's military policies seem, for the most part, reasonable. But his stance on economic issues can be best summarized by the Jimmy Carter statue from The Simpsons:

Malaise Forever!

Hollywood To Ruin Red Dawn

Wolverines To Sell Out?!?

Dirty Harry brings us the news that Hollywood is remaking the ultimate right-wing fantasy, Red Dawn, as buzz has hit The Hollywood Reporter:

"Red Dawn" will be redone. Screenwriter Carl Ellsworth has been hired to recraft the ultimate homeland invasion story about a new generation of besieged high schoolers. Dan Bradley, a second unit director and/or stunt coordinator on "The Bourne Ultimatum," "Spider-Man 3" and the forthcoming "Quantum of Solace," will move into the director's chair for the update. Contrafilm's Beau Flynn and Tripp Vinson will produce.

The original Red Dawn (from 1984), symbolizes paranoia manifesting itself about the Soviet threat, shows the importance of gun ownership and survival skills, and was directed by the eccentric John Milius (of whom the character Walter Sobchak in The Big Lewbowski is loosely based). It is a movie that could only be made during the height of conservatism in the 80s. Like Easy Rider in the 60s (rise of counter-culture), Rollerball in the 70s (rise of corporate control of government), and Fight Club in the 90s (rise of Gen X yuppies), Red Dawn is a cinematic sensation that can only exist in the societal construct of the decade in which it was made. However, it is of note that Howard the Duck's Lea Thompson made the concept of babes with guns a cultural staple.

As Mr. Dirty Harry postulates, how could a movie such as this be made in our BDS-obsessed culture? To start, the adversaries won't be the evil Soviets and their comrades invading middle America, but probably a bunch of Cheney lookalikes coming to steal oil from the town collective. Kids are such little weiners these days that there's no way it would be plausible that they accurately recreate Swayze's character "Jed". Kids heading off to the mountains to fight WWIII? Nowadays, teens can't leave their home without an emergency cell phone with Mom on speed dial, a bicycle helmet and kneepads, and all activities must be in some way connected to "getting into a good college". Harvard just isn't interested in kids who launch RPGs at Soviet/Cuban convoys. This movie is going to blow.

You Can Get Pregnant in a Combat Zone...I Did Not Know That!

Remember how Lara Logan got busted for getting railed by some contractor in Iraq and destroying his marriage and the credibility of Iraq news forever and ever. Well, turns out she got knocked up too (h/t Sisu). Goodness gracious. Many reporters and journalists pass through the embassy, so let me give you a little advice: there's a big ass box condoms outside the health clinic when you walk from Saddam's creepy ballroom (now a green bean) and the DFAC. What the hell's wrong with you people! Haven't you at least heard of the rhythm method?

When It's "Cool" To Be A Sheep

Prez Bush hits another unsurprising record-low month with 32% approval rating for June. Congress is even more dismal at a gut-busting 9% of the American public saying they are doing a "good or excellent job". With a horrendous national debt (approaching $10T), a dollar that's in the shits, and a war in Afghanistan that needs more troops with a military that was never drastically increased in size to undertake two concurrent conflicts, what's not to like!

It's sometimes not embarrassing to be part of the overwhelming majority. Just sayin'.

Huffington's Strawman Torched

Poor Arianna Huffington doesn't like it when there's been a steady drumbeat of good news from Iraq, such as the rapid decline in violence and the reduction of five combat brigades as the Iraqi Security Forces become stronger. She has been rather mute on the Iraq conflict in the last few months, and has taken to more idle banter such as "Memo to Obama: Moving to the Middle is for Losers" and some self-righteous ceremony called "The Webby Awards". But, on occassion, she will find opportune times to chime in with her foreign policy expertise. One good time was when LT Nixon and his peers were hitting the deck 8 times a day as the Green Zone got shellacked, and she found it in the goodness of her heart to say to take a potshot at McCain about the situation. Wow, we were all so ecstatic to be the human sacrifices to her little bit of coyish punditry while there was a war going on. Ariana Huffington has no interest in whether or not violence ceases in Iraq, only in how the war can be charecterized for her own political purposes to seize power in an election year.

This is most evident today when, rather than constructively criticize foreign policy as some do, she launches an unhinged attack at a strawman that is as flimsy as the secret stash of nazi-midget-porn that all non-liberals supposedly posses:

John McCain, aided and abetted by his loving protectors in the media, is running a victory lap on Iraq. To hear them tell it, the surge has "worked" -- indeed, it has been a huge success -- and this, like a last second Hail Mary pass, has vindicated the entire disastrous Iraq misadventure.

Seriously, Ms. Huffington, what the fuck are you talking about? Media coverage of Iraq is currently on the order of magnitude of Mr. Belvedere re-runs and the cat that was under house arrest. The American media lost interest in Iraq somewhere around late 2007, which is precisely the time there were major reductions in violence (might just be a coincidence, or it might not...)

One fascinating bit of propaganda today to enrage some factions that have a political interest in Iraq getting worse:

Admiral Mullen, head of the whole damn U.S. military, thanks Iraqi troops in Mosul for booting out terrorists (pic from The Herald)

Bong!

Update: The older, wiser, and better bloggers at This Ain't Hell already wrote about this Huffington garbage. Damn! Albeit, their post is more about political progress. Go check out the site that one surly commenter called a gaggle of angry, old vets.

Back to Work

Sorry, blogging will be a bit lighter, as my leave is over and I have to go back to the workforce (well a Navy staff command) like a schmuck. To commemorate reality, here's a pretty good cover of Merle Haggard's "Working Man Blues" by some dudes in a garage:



Most enlisted sailors will hate me for implying I'm a working man as an officer, but haven't you guys heard of something called carpal tunnel?

Why Wonkette Rules

Besides ridiculing some old lady with a god-awful protest sign today, Wonkette has really stuck it to Senator Larry "Wide-Stance" Craig (R-ID) by publishing his Freedom Speaks profile and saying he has "no friends". Within minutes, Sen. Craig now has the friends "Fingertapper", "Toilet Goblin", and "Hugh G. Rexxion". Long live internet shenanigans.

Can You Handle Reality?

This is a picture of today's suicide bombing in Kabul targeting the Indian Embassy which left 41 dead. Some might find the picture offensive to the senses and grotesque. Well, too bad, this is the reality of modern conflict. While the media often gets mired in domestic politics and their traditional adherence to leftist ideology, photojournalism in the combat zone has provided a unique pathway for folks on the outside to comprehend the imagery of war and the brutal nature of the enemy. When murderous thugs like Zawahiri claim that there agents don't target Muslim civilians, photojournalists like Zoriah Miller are there to provide concrete evidence contrary to the propaganda of the enemy.

That's why, IMHO, the Marines in Anbar are making a huge mistake by kicking out this embedded photojournalist. From Ventura County Star (h/t Blackfive):

The Marine commanders who saw the photograph were not happy, saying it violated a "trust" between the military and journalists. Zoriah was immediately "disembedded" from a Marine unit and barred from working with the military in Anbar.

Zoriah is in hot water for publishing graphic photos from an Al-Qaeda claimed suicide bombing in Anbar province in late June, which resulted in numerous civilians and three Marines KIA. His side of the story is here. While the pictures of our troops killed may be unnerving, it doesn't violate OPSEC by providing the enemy information on the attack (the death toll would have been published anyways). Out of respect for the families of the fallen, the MNF-I ground rules for embedding reads:

DOD will release names of KIAs. In respect for family members, names or images clearly identifying individuals “killed in action” will not be released prior to notification of next ot kin and in accordance with current legislation. Names of KIAs may be released after the DOD announcement has been made – journalists may check the Defenselink.mil Web site for those announcements.

The Marines need to realize that independent journalism will publish information that may not read like a Pentagon Press Release. At a time when news from Iraq is at an all-time low, we cannot afford to "censor" information.

From The Government, Here to Help

Best Government Agency Ever!

FEMA has always had a bit of PR problem. From the gross incompetence during Katrina, to the fake news conference in CA last year, and most recently the FEMA contractor who almost ran over some poor guy and then hit him with a golf club proclaiming that he was from FEMA and could do whatever he wanted. Now the recently fired Vincent Koley is leaving incredibly bizarre voice messages for a crime reporter at the Cedar Rapids Gazette (h/t Wonkette):

Ran into somebody, laugh for the day, he said to me ‘Are you that famous FEMA inspector? You should be on the David Letterman show.’ I said, ‘No, I don’t like David Letterman. I want to be on the Jay Leno show.’ You may not think that’s funny but that’s my type of humor.

Uh, okay. Sounds like the homeless man that used to ride the bus with me back when I lived in Los Angeles. The FEMA site for kids has extensive links with cutesy animations to help the children prepare for hurricanes, earthquakes, and floods, but there wasn't one bit of helpful information on preparing kids for FEMA contractors bringing "teh creepy". Your tax dollars at work.

Update needed!

General Petraeus More Popular Than Angelina, And My Shameless Publicity Stunt

The London Times has a piece on the infamous General Petraeus photo-op available to those of us who served in the Green Zone (h/t Hot Air). The Times discusses how General Petraeus draws larger crowds than Condi, Dick, and even Angelina Jolie:

One Green Zone veteran said General Petraeus drew bigger crowds than almost any other celebrity visitor, including Angelina Jolie, Dick Cheney, the vice-president, and Condoleezza Rice, the Secretary of State. Only the right-wing talk show host Bill O'Reilly, known for shouting down liberal guests on his Fox Channel programme, drew similar crowds.

Since posting details of flag officer/VIP routines is a gross violation of OPSEC, I must remain vague. But here's my shameless attempt to be "cool" via proxy by showing this photo:

I tried to take this photographic evidence to some of the city's fancier clubs to schmooze my way into the VIP room. But as the barometer of coolness, TMZ, once called searching for the remains of MIAs "BS", I wasn't let beyond the velvet rope. Damn!

Neo-Nazi Thugs Wreak Havoc on Gay Pride Parade in Hungary

Neo-nazi goons threw cobblestones, rotten eggs, and moltovs at gay pride marchers and police in Budapest, Hungary (story at AFP), which has been called the worst protest violence in 12 years in Budapest. Breitbart has the video of Hungarian police under attack:



Neo-nazi groups have been on the rise in eastern Europe and there's a bit of a precedent of persecution against gay people in Europe. More swell news from around the world, geez.

Project C.H.U.D. Busters

CHUDs...they're everywhere!

It is sometimes stated that the disgraceful icon of the Vietnam Vet getting spit on after he returned to America was "a myth". Until the fat cats in Silicon Valley invent a time machine, I couldn't say. But what about our modern-day veterans? Do they suffer slander and verbal abuse from the American public? The newest Gallup poll shows a healthy approval rating of our Armed Forces from the public. But...beneath the surface of mainstream culture lies the dark sewers of society in which mutated humans ridicule our troops for political and personal reasons...the C.H.U.D!

Consider this new project an in-depth analysis that is solely dedicated to the who, what, and where of Americans that choose to bash our troops. This project is a non-partisan effort, which is why C.H.U.D Busters is seeking maximum participation from all political leanings.

Relevant Links:

• C.H.U.D. Busters (the blog)
• The Mission
• C.H.U.D. Defined
• Hunting C.H.U.D.
• Rewards For Helping Out

Please Help!
Since this is a new blog, feedback (from the enthusiastic to the hate-filled) is requested (just leave a comment or two on the blog). Also, please provide some linky-lovin' at your place, if you can spare the time. Let me know what you think, and C.H.U.D. Busters is looking for fellow Authors, since the schlubb who created it has to go back to work on Tuesday (anyone seen my uniform around?).

Thanks everybody, hope you enjoy.

Leaky Barrels of Uranium Yellowcake Removed From Iraq

Informational Posters No Longer Needed in Baghdad

Outlaw 13 directs our attention to some good news out of Iraq: Saddam's old stockpile of yellowcake has been sold off to Canada (story at MSNBC). Yellowcake is concentrated Uranium Ore which can be further refined into fuel or enriched to make weapons-grade material. This was always a bit of a question markon what the fuck we were supposed to do with this stuff. I'm just glad it didn't show up at the Jamila market in Sadr City at a stall in between the bootleg Sadr DVDs and the guy selling toy RPGs.

"Wait aren't these WMDs?" you may be asking yourself. Well, sorta, but this yellowcake was acquired by Saddam from Nigeria prior to the 1991 U.N. Sanctions on Iraq. So, all these "No WMD, Bush Lied" types should really update their choice of words to "No WMD following implementation of U.N. Security Council Resolution 687 in Iraq...Bush Lied", but I suppose that is not as catchy.

Great Sunday Read on Alaskan Fishing

Sea Captain Approved!

Forget the NY Times Magazine's schnooze-inducing article on crappy folk rock, here's a Seattle Weekly article talking about the dangers of Alaskan Fishing (many of these trawlers are based in the Puget Sound area). It discusses the last moments of the Alaska Ranger, which went down around Easter near the Aleutians with five men lost at sea. The article also discusses allegations that the chief engineer was hammered at the helm, much like the accusations against the skipper of the dreaded Exxon Valdez. Alaskan fishing is well-paying, but considered the most dangerous occupation in America, and from the article you can see why:

Galbreath has no memory of being rescued. He managed to stay lucid until the Coast Guard lights showed up, he says. Then he passed out. Enough water had filled the suit that its feet had to be cut off to get him into the basket and hoisted to the helicopter. Apparently, Galbreath says with an embarrassed laugh, rescuers had a hard time getting him to let go of the basket once he was on board. The rescued crew members were taken to the Munro. Galbreath says rescuers later told him that when he got on board his body temperature was 88 degrees.

Good shit!

Coastie Rescue of the Alaska Ranger's Crew

Al-Qaeda in Iraq Crushed

What's the Arabic for Failure?

This is ISI (al-Qaeda in Iraq) propaganda from May of last year (h/t Blogs of War). Back then Al-Qaeda had some control of the Dora neighborhood of Baghdad and much of Diyala province (including the main city, Baquoba). After more U.S. and Iraqi troops went into Diyala province under Operation Arrowhead Ripper in June 2007, much of the foreign fighters fled further north to Salah Ad-Din, Tamin, and Ninawa provinces. Operation Lion's Roar was launched in May 2008 to clear out Mosul and the surrounding areas of Al-Qaeda once and for all.

According to the Times of London, this may be the "final purge" (h/t Jason):

Last Friday I joined the 2nd Iraqi Division as it supported local police in a house-to-house search for one such bomb after intelligence pointed to a large explosion today.

Even in the district of Zanjali, previously a hotbed of the insurgency, it was possible to accompany an Iraqi colonel on foot through streets of breeze-block houses studded with bullet holes. Hundreds of houses were searched without resistance but no bomb was found, only 60kg of explosives.

American and Iraqi leaders believe that while it would be premature to write off Al-Qaeda in Iraq, the Sunni group has lost control of its last urban base in Mosul and its remnants have been largely driven into the countryside to the south...

Brigadier General Abdullah Abdul, a senior Iraqi commander, said: “We’ve limited their movements with check-points. They are doing small attacks and trying big ones, but they’re mostly not succeeding.”

Major-General Mark Hertling, American commander in the north, said: “I think we’re at the irreversible point.”

Sometimes the Iraqi leadership can get a tad over-optimistic, but Maj. Gen. Hertling is a leader known for "shooting it straight" as he admitted that high-profile attacks were increasing in Mosul in January. So, this is something to be optimistic about and not just wishful thinking. Despite the fact that this article has a Mosul byline, expect the bureau wags back in NYC and London to repeat the same nonsense about the surge failing and civil war gripping Iraq...or expect them to just ignore the war altogether. But this is a serious tactical victory.

Now it might be time to ask, "If they trans-national terrorists are fleeing Iraq, does our military still need to be there?"

McCain Courts the Youth Vote

This McCain video is funny for a lot of reasons. One because I'm not sober, and two because I have no idea what "the cables" are. Perhaps the telegraph cables, who knows. Also, check out the Richard Dreyfus looking dude with the badass combover.

Anyhoo, here's McCain voicing his dislike for "teh bloggerz" (h/t Crooks and Liars).

Blogging Lite

Sorry for the terse blogging, folks. I'm working on a new blog project that is a non-partisan approach to characterizing people on the internet and in the media that bash the troops. I should have it up in the coming days. It's promised to be filled with shenanigans and ridicule.

Patriotism: Spread it On!

Time offers a lengthy article on patriotism distinguishing between the two flavors of conservative and liberal (h/t Yglesias) . Where conservatives hold patriotism as value of affirmation towards their homeland (e.g. The Pledge of Allegiance, lapel pins), liberals hold patriotism to be a set of concepts like liberty, equality, and justice. Since many of us don't fit neatly into the linear political classification of "left" or "right", can't we just be proud of America because we're not locked away in some shitty gulag in Siberia?

U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!

From humble beginnings...

...to a fight for independence...

...to a fight to stay together...

...from the farms...

...to the prairie...

...first in flight...

...with our industrial base making us strong...

...against a determined foe...

...to the dawn of a new age (these guys invented the transistor)...

...a fight for equality...

...conquering the goals of civilization...

...as the big city looks on...

...protectors of freedom...

...welcoming those from foreign lands...


...still some problems...

...but a darn good place to live!

Giving Obama a Pass on Iraq

The Iraq war is dauntingly complex with the myriad of information that comes out of the country, diversity of the people involved, and the international interests at stake. It certainly isn't a cut n' dry issue like gun control or capital punishment, and it is best to adopt a pragmatic approach to the foreign policy involved with U.S. assistance to Iraq. That's why it's good news that the leading presidential candidate, Obama, has opted to change his tune on a rigid timetable for withdrawal and seeks to gain perspective from commanders on the ground. From Politico:

Heading into the holiday weekend, Obama and his advisers repudiated that pledge, saying he is reevaluating his plan and will incorporate advice from commanders on the ground when he visits Iraq later this month. A top Obama adviser said he is not “wedded” to a specific timeline, and Obama said Thursday he plans to “refine” his plan. “I am going to do a thorough assessment when I'm there," he told reporters in Fargo, N.D., according to CBS News. "When I go to Iraq and I have a chance to talk to some of the commanders on the ground, I'm sure I'll have more information and will continue to refine my policies."

Gateway Pundit and Hot Air have already accused the Senator of flopping like the opening weekend of a Martin Lawrence movie, but it is important that the future commander-in-chief has an open mind about this, instead of clinging to facts from 2006 that don't really apply anymore.

The first order of business for Obama's people to change the verbage on that dreaded website, which still reads that violence is at mid-2006 levels (wrong) and that the Iraqi government has made "no progress". While the government's progress hasn't been tremendous, I disagree that there has been "no progress". From the last 12 months or so, here's a smidgen:

• Accountability and Justice Law (De-Ba'athification Reform) Passed
• Amnesty Law for Detainees Passed
• Diplomatic relations with Turkey to help combat PKK terrorists in northern Iraq
• Iraqi-led oeprations combatting extremists/terrorists in Mosul, Maysan province, Sadr City, and Basra
• Huge increase in oil exports as pipeline to Ceyhan, Turkey reopened
• Improvement in quality and quantity of Iraqi Security Forces

As one voter, I'm willing to give Obama a pass on all the misguided policies for Iraq he proposed earlier in his campaign, now that the reality has changed. Expect me to be in the minority.

Sonics Flee Seattle, Good Riddance

Plutocrats Leave Seattle, Please Shed a Tear

A deal has finally been reached for the Seattle Sonics to bail out on their lease and move to OKC (watch out Lou, they're coming for ya!). After the WA legislature denied them $500M of taxpayer dollars for a new arena, they decided to fly the coop to try and fleece the poor sods in Oklahoma City of all their money. Perhaps a new arena would have brought some revenue to the city of Seattle, but if they have to subsidize it with a truckload of taxpayer money, is it really that good an investment? I'm no sports guru, but the basketball squadron was 20-62 last season...I think that's bad.

Some Lady in a Pantsuit Calls Barr "Nutty"

The other Dee Dee, not the Ramone

Eric Dondero directs our attention to Dee Dee Myers at Vanity Fair, who pens an article called "Could Nutty Bob Barr Be Obama's Secret Weapon?" The images that third parties conjure are generally of weirdos at the edge of town prattling on about the U.N coming to steal their mail, and bloggers like crazy Lew declaring "Ron Paul as Prophet" certainly doesn't help gussy up the image. However, she brings up a commonly held misconception about third party politics:

Take Georgia, a state the Obama campaign has added to its target list. Even though no Democratic presidential candidate has won there in eons, they think the Obamakins can drive up Democratic turnout there, particularly in the African-American community, and make the race competitive. A recent Insider Advantage poll had McCain at 44 percent, Obama at 43 percent—and Barr at a potentially outcome-altering 6 percent. Barr’s candidacy might also affect the outcome in Indiana and North Carolina, two other traditionally Republican states that the Obama campaign has targeted.

This only assumes that Barr would take votes from Republican voters, but he is more in-line with the American left on opposition to FISA, which is a huge issue with the netroots. He also is opposed to war with Iran. Modern politics is too complex to categorize everything into a bi-partisan struggle between cowboy-hat wearin' conservatives and urban liberals, and the press seems to be stuck into this mode of thinking since it's easy to characterize in their articles.

Iraq News (3 July)

The Good:

• WaPo reports on progress in the negotiations for the US-Iraq agreement to allow U.S. troops to operate beyond 2008
• The Jordanian King is scheduled to visit Iraq in the first such visit since the fall of Saddam
• The Maysan governor has been detained and the AFP is reporting that it is because he has ties to the Sadrists. Not sure what the full story is here.
• Iraqi businessmen are calling for more Japanese investment in the reconstruction biz at an investors conference in Jordan
• Long War Journal reports on a water distribution site in New Baghdad (w/ photos)

The Bad:

• Brief story about the high toll on U.S. females in Iraq, more than any other conflict, with 97 deaths since 2003

The Ugly:

• WSJ has Douglas Feith explaining why invading Iraq was a good idea in a move that will get him scoffed at tomorrow in the blogosphere
• NY Times reports some shadiness between the Hunt Oil company and the autonomous Kurdish regional government. The CEO has close ties with Bush and Friends
• Iraq actually becomes an election issue (how novel!) as there are rumors that Obama might not call for an unconditional withdrawal and McCain turn up the pressure cooker prior to Obama's Iraq visit
• Some bozo at Alternet says something about Hitchens getting waterboarded, something about torture in Iraq (the U.S. military is actually forbidden from waterboarding for interrogation), and something about imperialism...good for your early morning angry liberal guy outrage
• The AP talks about personal politics for military members. If you thought servicemembers were apolitical, you need to hang out around here more often

"The Man" stands accused of shady oil deals with the Kurds

Aces High Redux

You see a lot of pictures of the military these days and it's always some guy hugging his wife/kid or some other cutesy crap. Not really my thing and you can save that for the rubes. So here's an Iron Maiden video with some aerial weapons video spliced in.

Rep. Weiner to the Military: "Where's my money, bitch?"

There is an excellent article today in the local Tacoma News about the welcome-home ceremony for 4th Brigade, 2nd Stryker Division at Fort Lewis. They spent 15 long months in Iraq, with a good chunk of time in the extremely violent Diyala province. Female suicide bombers, a Shi'ite police force that has been accused of sectarian violence on numerous occasions, and terrorist hold-outs in the Diyala River Valley. Not a place to take the fam, which is why Uncle Sam sent the Army to help out the Iraqis that live there. Most Americans would be grateful for their fellow countrymen's courage, but not this assface congressman (guess what his party is!):

"For every police officer taken off the streets of New York to serve in Fallujah, New York taxpayers are footing the bill," he said. He proposed a $40 billion federal revenue-sharing bill that would include aid for US cities that lose manpower due to military leaves. Some city 1,191 cops and 251 firefighters are among the 2,082 municipal workers have been called up since 2001, Weiner said. Currently there are 488 city workers on military leave. "It's time that the military reimburse New York for its sacrifice," Weiner said.

Apparently having to shuffle the payroll accounting data every time one of those ungrateful city workers takes a vacation in Iraq/Afghanistan is a huge sacrifice from New Yorkers and requires the feds to foot the bill. If Rosie the Riveter were around, she'd give this clown a knuckle sandwich. New York has traditionally been a very serviceman-friendly city, but maybe the tides have turned.

Flashback: Other Weiners humiliated in the blogosphere right here.

If only Rep. Weiner Could Institute a Wheelchair Tax for Combat Veterans

Young Republicans And Their Image Problem

It's gotta be tough being a young Republican these days. The approval rating for the President has reached epic lows and McCain has been branded as a more geezerly, senile embodiment of our current administration. Savvy Democratic operatives have even stated that voting Republican will ensure you won't get laid, and attempts by the McCain campaign to do outreach on this new-fangled internet thing have been ridiculed mercilessly by the netroots.

Therefore, it is admirable that The Next Right is trying to jump on the political bandwagon by drawing attention to the hipness of being a young conservative. But they should have picked a better project to highlight than the "Where is the Red" campaign, which promises to travel through Republican strongholds in middle America with pictures and videos along the way. I've been through our country's bible belt on many occasions, and while the folks are most friendly, a location where every radio station and billboard is about Jesus dying for your sins, the Monster truck rally at the state fairgrounds, or the all-you-can-eat buffet at the Cracker Barrel isn't conventionally viewed as "cool".

One of the bloggers at Where is the Red is Jeremy, who writes about the "Red Army" in Florida. I would've picked a different choice of words not affiliated with the tyranny of communism, and I also would have shied away from throwing the term "Army" around when the U.S. Army is strapped for recruits from Jeremy's demographic, but that's just me (sign up today, Jeremy, and get a bonus!). Anyhoo, he writes about the hip, young stylings of Congressman Putnam (R-FL):

Right now, the Putnam campaign is preparing for an assortment of events for the 4^th of July: a parade and the big barbecue. Apparently, the Congressman recently acquired a fire truck and will be using it in the parade. The congressman loves the fire truck, mainly for its redness. It used to be former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert’s truck and when he retired he offered to sell it to Congressman Putnam. Now it’s a campaign staple and rightfully so. What kid’s dream isn’t to ride on a fire truck? Picture a “Where is the Red?” fire truck…

BBQs and Firetrucks...the new urban chic! There's also young Christie, who makes it incredibly difficult to tell if she is writing for a political-themed site or one of the forums in Hustler with a post rife with double entrendes, "Hey, You Have Something on your Shirt":

I chose mine (Bono's own "Sweet and Tangy" sauce) and attempted to pour some out onto my sandwich but nothing was coming out of the bottle. I squeezed a little harder and of course more sauce than I ever needed splattered/exploded all over my sandwich, the table, my lap, my shirt, and a few drops even made it to my hair. In case I wasn't already aware, Chris was kind enough to point out that I had something on my shirt.

The only explanation for this is that she suffered a censored childhood where she wasn't allowed to watch R-rated movies. Good luck to you youngsters, and for a lesson on "being cool" please view Ninja Rap below, the Vanilla Ice scene from TMNT II where the turtles break it down. Quite possibly the coolest cinematic sequence of our lifetime.

An Armed Society is a Polite Society in a World of Terrorism

A Palestinian terrorist wreaked havoc with a front-end loader through the streets of Jerusalem today...and he got dead! Below is footage from the BBC of an off-duty soldier ending this thug's murderous rampage.



And who says gun control is a bad idea? The control of the firearm this young man uses to pop the terrorist in the face was admirable!

(thanks to Cath for saying this is a "Front-End Loader" and not a Bulldozer)

Iraq News (2 July)

The Good:

• The Benchmarks are a bit dated of a way to measure progress in Iraq, since everything changes so fast for the young democracy, but the U.S. Embassy cites Iraq meeting 15 of 18 benchmarks in a response to a Congressional request
• Foreign Minister Zebari is urging Iraqi Parliament to accept the Status of Forces Agreement to allow U.S. troops to stay beyond the U.N. mandate, which expires at the end of this year
• The largest Sunni political bloc, Tawafuq, may be set to rejoin the Iraqi government and provide ministers (we've heard this one before, don't get excited yet)
• Hezbollah trainers in southern Iraq have fled to Iran reports the AP
  

The Bad:

• U.S. casualties were up from last month
• A Sahwa member near Mosul was killed by a truck bomb
• The Iraqi Ministry of Human Rights reports that 2,334 women have been killed by militia extremists from 2005 to 2007! This is an abomination, and hopefully recent operations in Shi'ite-dominated cities like Basra and Amarah hampers this atrocity

The Ugly:

• The imbecile liberal that won't go away, Noam Chomsky, calls the U.S. invasion of Iraq worse than the Mongols to an international media outlet, Al-Jazeera...what an asshole
• A prominent Shi'ite cleric, Yaqobbi, blasts the Iraqi government for holding up provincial elections
• A Renton, WA man is being sued for his work at Abu Ghraib. This truly is the issue that won't die in the media
  
• Like the rest of the country, the Pentagon is going broke from the high fuel costs
  

Iraqi Women targeted by militia thugs

Buckminster Fuller, We Hardly Knew Ye

The Tacoma Dome with Mt. Rainier in the Backdrop

Buckminster Fuller, possibly the most revolutionary thinker of the 20th century, died 25 years ago today. He is most famous for the design of the geodesic dome, which yields the most structural integrity for the least amount of material. A good example of engineering brilliance that could be implemented with minimal cost. Yet, imbeciles in America continue to demand they live in shoddy, over-sized McMansions, while expecting the taxpayer to bail them out of their financial ineptitude. What a shame!

The Secret Life of the American Teenager: Christian Teeny Boppers Run Amok

Guess which Teen Got Knocked Up

The new ABC family show The Secret Life of the American Teenager is from the creator of 7th Heaven, so wholesome Christian values resembling a modern day Leave it to Beaver were to be expected. Unfortunately, it was an outrage of epic proportions when we were treated to a girl who got knocked-up at band camp, the young hunky football star who lusted after a new Jezebel when his virtuous girlfriend wouldn't "put out", and even the grandiose wisdom of Molly Ringwald was unable to salvage the moral character of this show.

An examination of the official blog affiliated with this televised cesspool shows comments from young lasses, which highlights a decaying society:

• ive already had my 1st kiss (12) and have had sex (15) but its called using a condom i mean please. ppl (LT Nixon Comment: can someone please explain what "ppl" means?)
• I had a baby at 16. I know what it's like to go through something like this. There is one thing though that always got me mad. People showing shame in the baby, when it isn't even his fault. What me and the father(who is NO longer in our lives) did was a mistake NOT the baby.
• I kinda like the show. I agree that not all teens have sex on there mind, but i am not any better b/c i am pregnet and 16 :-/ Its very hard to tell your parents & the hardest part was telling my boy friend.

Ye gods, is there no hope for America? Please take heed to not hang around the blog for lengthy periods or leave racy comments if you are male, because you will likely be tagged by the FBI as a possible Class III Sex Offender.

For a more appropriate way to conduct yourself as a teeny bopper, please view this clip from the classic Troma film, Toxic Avenger:

Go Canada, eh!

July 1st is Canada day, and to commemorate our friendly neighbors, feast your eyes on 10 awesome things about the Great White North.

You Can't Do That on Television: The best kids show of all time

Low Drinking Ages (19 in most provinces): Ensures a wider cross-section of women at the clubs that are permitted to get plastered

D.O.A.: Great Punk Rock from up north

Youppi:The lovable French Canadian rascal

Trailer Park Boys: A very underrated and hilarious TV show

Montreal Gentleman's Clubs: It doesn't get any better

Rush: Try listening to Tom Sawyer after drinking a big bottle of cough syrup...it's a trip!

Molson XXX: The super-high alcohol content makes up for the nasty taste

Troops in Afghanistan: Canada has supported the ISAF since the beginning

Alberta Tar Sands: Oil reserves in a country that isn't run by some dictator or a bunch of American-hating nuts

Being a Terrorist in Your Mom's Basement

Reason talks about the Reynard project, which is an intelligence effort that seeks to examine gaming worlds, such as World of Warcraft, for potential terrorist activity. While it is well known that terrorism can be bred in cyber-communities, these type of studies give way too much credit to a bunch of foulmouth nerds that need to be wedgied...not feared. The real question is whether or not TSO will utilize his WoW account to form a band of Wolverines ala Red Dawn to crush these online terrorists.




Can You Spot which of the Two Images involves Terrorist Activity?

The Energy Policies of the Stone Age

Who needs Oil and Coal when You Got Cholera

Don't expect any U.S. Senators to offer relevant energy policies for America as McClatchy Watch notes that Harry Reid has stated that oil and coal "makes us sick". Perhaps the Senator wants to take civilization to the nostalgic days of the pre-industrial era where people were slaughtering each other for scarce resources on the American frontier. Maybe he is reminiscing towards the days of cholera epidemics in 19th century Europe, because who needs oil and coal to power water treatment facilities as long as some species of bird I've never heard of is safe from mankind's footprint.

For far too long, energy policy in America has been shaped by a pack of rhetoric-laden NIMBY environmentalists, who want civilization to dwell in the stone age and place too much stock in energy solutions like wind and solar which just don't provide enough juice. Nuclear power in America has been sandbagged by a bunch of crazies who rely on Jane Fonda-like rhetoric to convince the American public that the next Godzilla is just around the corner. Drilling in ANWR would only require 2,000 of the 19 million acres in the refuge, yet there is political pressure to not let this happen. Time to start basing energy policy on continuous improvement of energy efficiency, new technology for power generation, and using resources available to us. Why is this such a debated fucking issue?

Bad Blood Abound

Like the time I wore the "No Fat Chicks" shirt to the Take Back the Night rally, it's getting ugly with a whole lot of emotion being flung like feces. Sometimes it's good to be a moderate and to sit on the sidelines. Also, Laura Ingraham is deeply aggravating the problem, IMHO. This is difficult to watch, what do you think?

Iraq News (1 July)

The Good:

• Civilian fatalities are down in Iraq for June to 448, Iraqi officials have noted
• $100M has been allocated to Sadr City reconstruction from Baghdad's government
• Oil contracts are being made available to 35 international companies for six of Iraq's oil fields. Iraq is tied with Iran for having the most oil reserves at #2 (Saudi Arabia is #1)
• Jordan has named its first diplomatic envoy to post-Saddam Iraq
  

The Bad:

• 4 Baghdad judges have been targeted with extremist violence, and the head judge in Sadr City has been injured along with his family
• The transfer of security responsibility to the Iraqis in Diwaniyah Province has been delayed due to bad weather
• Aswat al-Iraq reports that the government-funded paper Al-Sabah and the mouthpiece of the Dawa party (Prime Minister Maliki's political party) are furious at the government for not providing adequate electricity during the hot Iraqi summer. Iraqis have resorted to buying gasoline on the black-market as well (long utilized as a way to fund the Mahdi Army). If these government-friendly papers are saying it's bad, you can only imagine what the average citizen has to say

The Ugly:

• The Rand report on the failure to adequately plan for post-invasion Iraq is available
• The Pentagon has ordered KBR to check the electric wiring for all buildings under their supervision in Iraq following the electrocution of many service members. Yo, Mr./Mrs. KBR electrician, check my old office in the embassy (lights smoked 2 times and one small fire)
• More ISAF troops have died in Afghanistan this month than Iraq for the second straight month

Diwaniyah Turnover delayed (graphic from AFP)

Obama or Die! (from Fire and Brimstone)

Obama is shamelessly pandering to the evangelical base by promising $500M bucks of your money to buy votes and influence from a bunch of smarmy mega-church preachers who have no business in the public eye. Obama plans to enhance Bush's controversial Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives to throw taxpayer dollars down the tubes on abstinence programs, how the earth is only 5,000 year olds, and other stupid shit. Breitbart has the details:

Reaching out to evangelical voters, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is announcing plans that would expand President Bush's program steering federal social service dollars to religious groups and—in a move sure to cause controversy—support their ability to hire and fire based on faith.

Charitable organizations that are faith-based have been crucial to society in the past, and this is America and an individual is entitled to their own opinion about religion (be it Jesus, Xenu, the return of the Mahdi to cleanse mankind of its sins, or a comet that will take you to salvation), but don't expect others to pay for it.

This is a prime example of the pitfall of democracy as politicians make ridiculous promises to dip into the overspent public coffers to scratch people's backs.

Not to fear, More Abstinence-related Government Propaganda is on the Way!

Veterans Coming To The Negotiating Table

These are bad days for the vetpolitik as pundits are all over the controversial remarks that General (retired) Clark made on PBS yesterday about McCain's war record. I would agree with the assertion that McCain's stellar service as a Naval officer doesn't necessarily qualify him to be Prez. I don't think that is very controversial and a lot of people are making mountains out of molehills in our hyper-partisan atmosphere of the election year (although the obscene comments on some lefty blogs about McCain "not excelling" in the military were asinine) . However, I do believe that ex-military personnel are well-suited for politics due to their knack of seeing the bigger picture and the selflessness inherent in the service. Vetvoice, where I write sometimes, is seeking to defend the retired General and Vets For Freedom is demanding an apology from Clark. Here's the superb VFF spokesman, Pete Hegseth, speaking on Fox (h/t Gateway Pundit):



This whole situation sucks ass. The media is merely exploiting vet groups as they see them as the only ones with enough moral authority to criticize any politician's military service. This does not help the overall dialogue. After the dust from the election settles, the hypothetical situation where people start treating Iraq/A-stan vets like shit for the excessive costs of the wars could become a reality. We need to stick together and realize that political operatives on both sides of the aisles are beneficial. I know some of you guys with the DC connection occasionally read this blog, and I'm gonna take the Rodney King narrative and beg for us all to get along.

Also: Predictably, Obama chucks out Clark like a moldy bag of tangerines. Gee whiz, no one saw that one coming.

Ahmadinejad Dreams Up Another Wacky Assassination Plot

Ahmadinejad must be desperately clinging to power in Iran, because his assassination fantasies are getting more bizarre and ridiculous by the day. A week ago he claimed Bush tried to assassinate him while he was in Baghdad in March, and now he believes those filthy Italians tried to zap him to death with an X-ray machine. From RIA Novosti (h/t Jawa):

Enemies of Iran attempted to kill President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with high-intensity X-ray radiation during his recent trip to Italy, Iran's former ambassador in Rome said on Monday. Ahmadinejad attended a global summit on food at the UN Food and Agriculture Organization's Rome headquarters in early June. "On the eve of the [Iranian] president's visit to Rome, we checked the radiation levels in his temporary residence," Abolfazi Zohrevand told Iran's IRNA news agency. "We found out that the radiation was higher than normal and its intensity was rapidly increasing," he said, adding that several devices were used to avoid potential error in readings, but they all showed the same results.

Since I worked in the radiation field in the Navy, allow me to give Mr. Ahmadinejad's people a brief science lesson:

• Average Radiation Does of an X-ray: ~10-20 mrem
• Additional radiation exposure LT Nixon was subjected to after 3 years from working on a nuclear submarine with "one of the dirtiest reactors" in the U.S. Navy: ~250 mrem
• Average yearly background radiation from Radon, Cosmic Rays, etc.: ~300 mrem
• Radiation to make your hair fall out and cause a painful death: ~200,000 mrem (all at once)

Clearly an X-ray machine is incapable of inducing acute radiation sickness even if the thing gets turned to "11". The only plausible justification to Ahmadinejad's outrage is that he thought the X-ray machine got a shot of his pantaloons like some bad 1960s novelty specs found on the back page of a comic book.

Western swine offend Ahmadinejad's modesty