Shenanigans to Defuse Winter Soldier II Tensions

The IVAW has been talking about the upcoming Winter Soldier II hearings for months and Army Sergeant at Active Duty Patriot has the details on her blog. The tensions have been brewing for weeks prior to this, but recently Michelle Malkin has posted how the Gathering of Eagles are being threatened with violence, and it even contains a link to notable "Teh Awesome Viking Man" De Wald of IVAW. I find this a bit troublesome, since Michelle Malkin has riled up the Gathering of Eagles folks before, and I can only surmise that this event is going to get ugly. IVAW member, De Wald, has even threatened to cut people's heads off with a steak knife. In an effort to quell this animosity between fellow vets/military members/well-wishers I propose a riddle for veterans of the Army type.

The hucksters over at The Sniper have jokingly associated me with the Village People due to being of the Navy variety, but I would rather be associated with metrosexual hijinx than with the Army. Why does the Army trust an E-5/E-6 to lead a squad through a hostile village in Iraq, but when I need to make a simple $100/month allotment to charity, it is meant with stupid looks from an E-6 and E-7 over at Finance, and an E-9 is the only person being able to help me? Why?

Looks like I joined the right Branch, hi-yo!

Update: Ms. K has provided me with a hilarious link to a portly gentleman who went on a date, which required the use of a fork-lift to schlep him around. Thanks, Ms. K!