22 April 2008

Shameful Habit Now Good For You


Is there anyone that didn't spank it to this scene from Fast Times like Judge Reinhold?

Success! It seems all those times that young boys run off to the bathroom with their mother's Victoria's Secret catalogs are paying off with huge health benefits. From the BBC on why masturbatin' is good for you (thanks Jules):

Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 who had not about their sexual habits. They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer.The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s. Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.

So much for the crazy stories about growing hair on your palms that your folks tell you to prevent embarrassment while they host dinner parties. Anyways, I also came across a strange website called "Take the Action Corporation", by way of World-O-Crap, which is dedicated to stopping the heinous sin of onanism. According to this preachy website, the reason masturbation is so bad for you can be summed up in some gospel-like, scientifically-unproven bullets which include: You waste your valuable time on masturbation, Destroys your marriage or your relationship with your partner, and simply Masturbation destroys your health. This preposterous website then proceeds to talk about how Yoga or some other Age of Aquarius type crap is what you should be doing as opposed to batin'. I take issue with the proclaimation that you should be doing it with your partner as opposed to playing with yourself. Some poor souls are destined to not have partners until science can invent a anatomically correct robo-babe. Plus, the fact that guys in the workforce spend hours schwackin' it is absurd. Don't they know that we are pros at it by the time we hit high school?

All those wasted kleenexes!

18 comments:

Kyle said...

Its amazing that people actually waste their time on telling people not to flog the dolphin, when they could be beatin' it! Good to know that a little whackin' it can prevent prostate cancer. Imagine doctors prescribing a masturbation regimen to teenagers to prevent cancer...hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Delicate question -- what about us females? Did you forget about us? Ohhhh, you think that only guys . . . . oh. You're wrong.

Kath

Desert Sailor said...

No one is debating the ladies have their own benefits package...

But it is "Prostate Cancer"...and that is kinda gender specific.

Dude...this one has me friggin' rolling!! Thanks.

ABWF said...

Is there anyone that didn't spank it to this scene from Fast Times like Judge Reinhold?

Me

Kyle said...

Kath,

Female masturbation is a myth. :P

abwf,

I don't know how you couldn't. Phoebe Cates was a fox in that movie.

Anonymous said...

Geez, refer and masturbation-can't wait for tomorrow's topic! Way to dive in there Kath! Gotta 'hand' it to ya'll, this is one fun blog site!
Cathy B

ABWF said...

Kyle- I'm female. Phoebe Cates isn't my type. I much preferred the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun...particularly Val Kilmer. It's kind of sad how different his more recent beach pictures are.

ABWF said...

After some review, I've changed my preference. Val is no longer my favorite from the scene (although he is decent enough eye candy in it). I prefer his partner in the two on two match. I posted a youtube clip of it at my blog if any of the female readers are interested in a little beefcake. I guess the males could come over too...Don't ask, Don't tell is still policy.

Thanks for inspiring me to seek out the clip Kyle :)

Sisu said...

abwf,

For the love of Mike, warn a girl before posting Val Kilmer's 9- months-and-counting beach bod! I agree with you, Rick Rossovich (beefcake #2) is a better bet...comes off dumb as a post, but I find I don't care.

I've always felt sorry for the menfolk; they have to get tired sometime, while women have our B.O.B who will last as long as the alkaline does. *snicker*

And thank you LT for introducing the topic and providing the venue!

Kyle said...

abwf,

Sorry to mistake you for a male. You know what they say, theres no women on the interwebs (kidding). Also, that picture of Mr. Kilmer is quite funny. What a fatass!

Thanks for bringing this up LT. I has obviously been on many peoples' minds...

Wek said...

Goddamn hilarious. LT, I'm going to send you a Operation Yellow Elephant T-shirt when you get back to The States, but now I'm going to have to make you swear you won't use it as a "spanky hanky" before I mail it.

ABWF said...

Sorry Sisu. Actually not really...the element of surprise was the best part of posting the link to that picture. As far as RR being dumb as a post, brains really aren't something I look for in beefcake. I'm shallow that way.

No worries Kyle. If it really mattered for people to be able to tell my gender by my online name I'd use a real one like Pat or Sidney.

LT Nixon said...

To the ladies,

Sorry I don't know anything about what women want. But I do know what a BOB is. Someone had to explain that one to me.

Wek,

No worries that's what "love socks" are for. haha

Bag Blog said...

Why all the masturbation? Don't people get married anymore?

ABWF said...

Lt Nixon- The Bob explanation sounds like it could be another interesting blog post. Was this recently? I can't decide which would be funnier, you asking a woman or asking a male you are deployed with.

Tin Ma'am said...

... seriously? there was a question that masterbation was oh-so-oh-oh-OH! good?

Anonymous said...

Lt, you don't know what women want? Well, therein lies the problem, dude. Therein lies the problem.

Kath

Caroline said...

There could be a whole series of "One Less" commercials for men. Women are encouraged to do everything they can to prevent cervical and breast cancer, why should we not encourage the same preventative behavior in men?