26 April 2008

What Could've Been

You ever wonder what life in your 20s would've been like if you hadn't exposed yourself to the busload of nuns in your teenage years? Or if you never developed that meth habit which keeps you from top-notch employment? Well you probably would've looked a lot like these young successful people. From Fortune, and the "Faces of the Future" series:

Julie says: "I am extremely 'client facing,' to the point that I spend more time in the client's office than at an IBM office. It is exciting to be representing IBM to a client so early on in my career."

Ms. Julie, your overexuberance for the mundane should cause some level of despair. Be weary of that "Bad-Boy" boyfriend who's going to run up all your credit cards to buy jewelery for his stripper girlfriend he keeps on the side. You will never be privy to this as you are working 70-90 hours a week.

Anshul says: "Imagine a job where you have experts in fields as diverse as computer security, optimization, data analytics, experimental game theory and supercomputers sitting in the same building."

Mr. Anshul, while we wager you are a pretty smart dude, there is no need to discuss the complexities of your job in a social-like setting. See those chicks you just scared off because you talked about how you were one of the original coders for Linux? They were totally unimpressed. They only thing guaranteed this evening is that you are going to get a wedgie by those meatheads playing pool.

Brooke Says: "From the minute the show begins, I am running from one dance to the next, quickly changing from one costume to another."

So... I may have just lost all my money at craps, but you look like you know how to party! They say women like to reach out and do charity work...I could be that charity! Your place or my car?

Sorry, but happy and satisfied people really make me angry.


Anonymous said...

Yeah, but dammit, if he can show me how to do a power point presentation that doesn't take forever AND doesn't suck -- I could consider just hanging with him for a minute. Maybe. A short minute. From a distance.

LT Nixon said...


Nerds need lovin' too! Have a heart.

Anonymous said...

yes, dear. (sigh)


Bag Blog said...

I think you have too much time on your hands.

Kyle said...

HAHA! Great post LT. always on point with the funny stuff.


I don't blame you for wanting to use him for his powerpoint skillz. They can be tricky haha.

Anonymous said...

Where is the love?


LT Nixon said...

Bag Blog,

That is certainly a possibility.

Outlaw 13 said...

I foresee a house filled with cats for Miss IBM, AKA Bachelorette #1, if she's not careful.


Tin Ma'am said...

i just like anyone who is happier than me. that's really what my disgruntledness boils down to.