28 May 2008

Is The Military Becoming the Rodney Dangerfield of Modern Society?

The recent decline of violence in Iraq must have some elements of the blogosphere looking for new and improved tactics to slam the military. In light of this earlier post on Memorial Day slander, Suspect getting called a "rotten apple" of a soldier, and the Ygleisas thread where "Spike" suggests that soldiers lack the "critical thinking" skills for college, it can only be surmised that the military is getting no respect ala Rodney Dangerfield (h/t McClatchy Watch for this hilarious meme).

Since many of us are all about the self-deprecation, and Rodney Dangerfield is the king of hilarity (R.I.P.), here are a list of one-liners to employ in regards to getting no respect:

  • I tried to file a TBI claim at the VA, they told me I was too crazy and threw me in a room with padded walls and a helmet
  • I asked the bartender how much for a gin and tonic, he said 5 bucks, I told him I just got back from Iraq, then he said it'd be 10 and spit on me
  • My girlfriend said I was lousy at sex, I said sorry and told her I had PTSD, she went and got checked for VD and then dumped me
  • I went to go collect my GI Bill at school, they told me to get in the wrong line when I showed up at their office, the next thing you know I'm landing in Helmland province with an M-4 and IBA, how the hell did I end up there
  • I went looking for a job downtown, the interviewer asked me what I did in the Navy, I said I worked in engineering, so they locked me in a dark room for 18 hours a day turning wrenches and paid me 3 bucks an hour, which is still better than being in the Navy
  • I met this beautiful woman who worked as a news anchor, she said to take her out to dinner in my uniform, I showed up to the restaurant and the next thing you know I'm on CNN in the "War Crimes Trial of the Century" with cameras in my face, I get no respect around here