18 May 2008

Pravda Offers International Hope To Poindexters Who Can't Get Laid

The former Soviet-propaganda gazette, Pravda, has certainly revamped it's image since the end of the cold war, and now closely resembles a Russian version of Fox News. It has silly but enjoyable stories such as Gerbena, the lovable pooch, that ate it's masters' leather coat at a dinner party. There is also a similarity between Pravda online and Fox News in it's reporting of notable political figures engaging in shenanigans as evidenced by the article about former-Premier Gobrachev selling Louis Vitton bags. The patriotic fever shared between Fox News and Pravda can be seen in their series about the USSR solely defeating the Nazis (c'mon, Russia, what about Normandy?) and their mockery of President Bush. However, the reason that Pravda has the leg up on Fox News is because they know how to market and keep hope alive for their target demographic who would visit an English-language website of Russian origin. That collective group of internet surfers would be single-male losers looking for information on possible Russian Brides, which is the reason I have taken an interest in the web site.

Fox News has a plethora of babe commentators such as Julie Banderas and Mary Katherine Ham. However, they are clearly off-limits as they are usually surrounded by frat-boyish Young Republican co-hosters. The majority of comic book aficionados, World of Warcraft gurus, Ron Paul supporters, Star Wars fan fiction creators, and bloggers like myself would never be allowed in the same zip code as these ladies. This can leave loyal viewers bitter and disenfranchised at their lack of fantasy becoming a realization, and this perpetual rejection from mainstream media was the reason the internet was invented in the first place (thanks DARPA!). Pravda online takes on a much more shrewd technique at convincing dateless males worldwide that they have a shot with a lovely Russian bride in the article World Must be More Attentive To Male Virgins. The article attempts to quell the stigma behind men being virgins in their adulthood, and even says that some Russian beauties may be looking for a guy with little experience in lovin':

In Russia, online forums provide evidence to prove that Russian women are attracted to sexually inexperienced men. Posts from women may run as follows: “I have always wanted to have a virgin boy just for a change”, or “I am an independent personality. I am 25. I run my own business; I own a flat and a car. But I am very fastidious about my love life. I don’t need a “used” man. I want to be sure that I am his first woman. My current boyfriend is good-looking and clever. But I found out that he’d had affaires before our relationship. I don’t know whether I can forgive him. I have lots of men to choose from…But now it feels as if I picked him in a second-hand shop.”

This clever tactic of outsourcing propaganda to an international audience would make Lenin himself proud. I'm going to have to visit this web site more often, as many like me can promise young Russian women a horrifically awkward sexual experience if that's what they are into.

Russian Babes may have a thing for 30-year olds who enjoy comic books (pic from Axetopia)