10 July 2008

Hollywood To Ruin Red Dawn

Wolverines To Sell Out?!?

Dirty Harry brings us the news that Hollywood is remaking the ultimate right-wing fantasy, Red Dawn, as buzz has hit The Hollywood Reporter:

"Red Dawn" will be redone. Screenwriter Carl Ellsworth has been hired to recraft the ultimate homeland invasion story about a new generation of besieged high schoolers. Dan Bradley, a second unit director and/or stunt coordinator on "The Bourne Ultimatum," "Spider-Man 3" and the forthcoming "Quantum of Solace," will move into the director's chair for the update. Contrafilm's Beau Flynn and Tripp Vinson will produce.

The original Red Dawn (from 1984), symbolizes paranoia manifesting itself about the Soviet threat, shows the importance of gun ownership and survival skills, and was directed by the eccentric John Milius (of whom the character Walter Sobchak in The Big Lewbowski is loosely based). It is a movie that could only be made during the height of conservatism in the 80s. Like Easy Rider in the 60s (rise of counter-culture), Rollerball in the 70s (rise of corporate control of government), and Fight Club in the 90s (rise of Gen X yuppies), Red Dawn is a cinematic sensation that can only exist in the societal construct of the decade in which it was made. However, it is of note that Howard the Duck's Lea Thompson made the concept of babes with guns a cultural staple.

As Mr. Dirty Harry postulates, how could a movie such as this be made in our BDS-obsessed culture? To start, the adversaries won't be the evil Soviets and their comrades invading middle America, but probably a bunch of Cheney lookalikes coming to steal oil from the town collective. Kids are such little weiners these days that there's no way it would be plausible that they accurately recreate Swayze's character "Jed". Kids heading off to the mountains to fight WWIII? Nowadays, teens can't leave their home without an emergency cell phone with Mom on speed dial, a bicycle helmet and kneepads, and all activities must be in some way connected to "getting into a good college". Harvard just isn't interested in kids who launch RPGs at Soviet/Cuban convoys. This movie is going to blow.