30 September 2008

Time For Drastic Action During Rough Times, Vote Lord Humungus in '08!

Game Over

Since the economy has collapsed, our government is gridlocked, and the only stock going up is canned goods, it's time to stop acting like a bunch of pussies about our shoddy mortgages and 401Ks. Forget about how much money you have in the bank, Thurston, because America will soon become a violent struggle for resources as it is consumed in a wasteland of post-Sub Prime apocalypse. That's why it's important to take sides early on to ensure survival, and why I'm throwing my hat in the rink for Lord Humungus: Warrior of the Wasteland.

Vote Humungus in 2008

Lord Humungus' speech about allowing the settlers safe passage out of the wasteland in exchange for the precious crude isn't just the same old meaningless rhetoric from some namby-pamby politican, he means fuckin' business. His run for CA Governor may have been met with little fanfare, but trying times require a man willing to get things done rather than some bleached-tooth DC hack.

The Humungus AmungUs

Our faithful master isn't exactly residing in the ivory tower either, and he wouldn't be afraid to take up arms for a worthy cause. Like General George Washington during The Revolutionary War, Lord Humungus inspires his warriors to the highest caliber of service as he fights alongside his men. While some pols might express admiration with sappy talk about "Support the Troops", Lord Humungus is actually one of the leather-clad combatants.

Wealthy Elites Consolidating Their Exploits With Mercenary Thugs

The settlers and their dying tribe are holding out on an entire tanker of fuel in their compound and they have hired a mercenary, known as the Road Warrior, to ensure their assets are protected. Lord Humungus is a man of the people, and his populist approach will ensure everyone gets their fair share of crude instead of a few elites in dorky white outfits.

Vote for Lord Humungus for a chance of survival in the new American wasteland and re-acquire the American dream!