18 December 2008

A Tasty Cake for an Unsavory Family

My mother always told me that "Stupid People Shouldn't Breed" and the Campbells of New Jersey, who named their kid "Adolf Hitler Campbell", sure make a good argument for that maternal wisdom. Now they are throwing a tantrum at Shop-Rite for not making a birthday cake for the little fascist rugrat. From The Guardian:

Heath Campbell, 35, and his wife, Deborah, 25, say they are upset at the decision made by their local ShopRite not to write "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler" across the cake, and that people needed to move forward.

Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because "no one else in the world would have that name".

"They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what [Hitler] did," he said.
Listen, ass, no business is required to offend 99.99% of their customer base by putting Nazi bullshit on a kids birthday cake. Also, their reference to Obama (quoted in The Boston Herald) and that this is an era of "change" was completely bizarre to say the least. To shut these rubes up, I tried to find a Hitler birthday cake, but was unsuccessful. Luckily, I found a Stalin cake with some fruity looking flowers:

Stalin and Hitler are pretty similar: both tyrants masquerading behind a cult of personality, both ethnically purged millions of people, both were propaganda masters. In these tough economic times, you're thankful for whatever you can get.