29 January 2009

Won't Someone Please Think of the Banker's Girlfriends!

Portrait of Poverty: Distressed Girlfriends of Investment Bankers

You know who's really got it tough after the economy took a big dump? No, not laid off workers in the manufacturing sector from metro Detroit. I'm talking about wealthy Manhattanite chicks who can't get "bottle service" at swanky clubs in SoHo. Their website [Dating a Banker Anonymous] reveals the Dickensian like conditions:
This whole messy ordeal has advanced my Botox start date by at least two years. Like every other DABA girl, the economy was wreaking havoc on my relationship and youthful good looks. Phone calls went unanswered, Hamptons invitations un-extended, plans canceled (including, but not limited to, expensive opening night tickets to the ballet, which were scalped instead of being graciously offered to me and a galpal), and so forth and so on. Until – the horror of all horrors – my FBF lost his job, which I guess technically downgrades him to just my BF.
In general, being an attractive woman is an excuse for just about any sort of egregious behavior. But not this time! At first you might be led to believe that this site is high satire and ask yourself "Are these broads for real?", but a NY Times article reveals that this is indeed not a joke. NYT:
About 30 women, generally in their mid- to late-20s, regularly post to the Web site or attend meetings.

“We do make light of everything on the blog and it’s very tongue in cheek,” said Laney Crowell, 27, who parted ways with a corporate real estate investor last month after a tumultuous relationship. “But it all stems out of really serious and heartfelt situations.”
The Huffington Post sympathizes with the plight of these money-grubbing wenches to the surprise of no one.

This is why America will fail. People are fast becoming accustomed to lavish lifestyles and expecting government intervention and external forces to make it all better. I suggest sending these women to live in the garbage dump in Phnom Penh, Cambodia so they can learn about real hard times. As an aside, I'm going to take a shot in the dark here, and assert that most of these women voted for Obama.

10 comments:

Dillinger737 said...

Don't you think voting would probably cut into pedicure time? And "ew, those filthy peasants in polling places, disgusting". I hate Obama, don't get me wrong, but I would have guessed they would probably relate better to the stupidity of Palin.

Mike H said...

A better caption for the gals: "I am letting some poor fucker go ATM on me?"

LT said...

Yeah live in a trash dump or get shot at or have someone try to split your atoms with some HE "device"

Kind of recalibrates your "what's important in life" meter

LogicallyLocked said...

Don't these broads know anything? Marrying a military man is the way to go! Set for life baby! *snicker*

Bag Blog said...

You make fun of pretty girls wanting to date/marry for money, but the truth is any one of you yahoos would be buying them drinks and offering sympathy in order to be "laid off."

Nixon said...

Bag Blog,

You are probably correct, but don't expect any sympathy from us on the interenetz!

Nixon said...

Ms. K writes in that it might be a hoax, but I still think it's for real. They deleted my comment on their blog where I called them parasites. How Bush League!

LogicallyLocked said...

Aww geez Bag, I'm not a lesbian, and I'm married, but maybe if I dug chicks a bit more I might buy them some drinks.

Morally I would personally never do it, however, I do admire their industrious attitude. Why work harder than you have to if you were born pretty? ;)

Ms. Kiyum said...

Amen to that, LL. I've been coasting on my looks and poon for years. It seems satire to me. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't. I'd like to think humanity as a whole is good, but then they disappoint me continuously.

Girl in the Middle said...

I have no trouble believing it's for real.

As a side note, when I saw the photo before reading the article, I thought it was the latest group of train wrecks from this season of "The Bachelor."