05 February 2009

Short Timers Syndrome

Suspect spoofs the Code of Conduct to apply to military folks about to separate that anyone who has gotten out can appreciate:

Article I.
I am an American short-timer. I serve in the forces into which I was so carelessly drafted/enlisted/recalled/stop-lossed. I am prepared to leave them at the time so designated by the Department of the Army, or sooner if at all possible.

Article II.
I will never extend or re-enlist of my own free will. If I am in command, I will never allow my fellow short-timers to fraternize with the lifers.

Article III.
If I am called before the Commanding Officer, I will continue to resist his re-enlistment talks by all means available. I will make every effort to escape.

Article IV.
If I should become the victim of an involuntary extension, I will keep the faith with my fellow short-timers. If I am the shortest, I will assume command; if not, I will obey the shortest.

Article V.
When questioned, should I become the object of a re-enlistment interview, I am bound to give only my name, rank, service number, date of birth and date I am due to be discharged.

Article VI.
I will never forget that I am an American short-timer, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which have made carefree, happy civilians out of thousands of short-timers before me.
If you are getting out and are not a complete shitbag, prepare to be talked to by no less than 100 or so senior enlisted and officers about why "staying in" is the way to go. You'll also hear stories about guys who got out, had to go live in a trash can like Oscar the grouch, and wish they never left the military. But stay strong! You did your time and a career in the service isn't for everybody.


Ms. Kiyum said...

Why are you such a shitbag? I hope you enjoy your steady diet of poverty and schlitz malt liquor, now that you don't have the comfort of Uncle Sam's shelter and food.

Grung_e_Gene said...

Fear the outside world, stay green (or blue)! You'll have to pay Rent... Oooooooohhhhh!!!! And cooking you'll have to boil water Wooooooohhhh!

Nixon said...

Just remember, Ms. K, that if you off Mr. K you stop getting retirement payments.

Anonymous said...

I've been following this for a WHILE, and I thought that all was well in this economy, and that if you were retired, and worked HARD and competently (like I did) that you were pretty well employed. I got laid off today, in a "nbo-reason" State, but the reason given to me by mouth was that "We have to lay off someone, and since you're retired and get a check already, that someone is going to be you". WTF kind of reason is that? I'm telling you LT, be GLAD you didn't retire.

I'm starting my own business now. Just today I secured a line of credit, paid for the name, and will do the same job on my own, constantly underbidding my former employer EVERY CHANCE I GET, even if it means working for cost occasionally.

Nixon said...

Sorry to hear that, Anonymous, seems to be a lot of that going around...

Anonymous said...

My ass will go to Afghanistan or Thailand for some contracting if my business doesn't take off.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, you have no idea how pissed off I am. I busted my ass for them, and out of the blue, with no warnings, and no write ups, they "terminated" my employment without a reason. Welcome to Colorado. No reason needed. I'm going to give my start up everything I have, and my only goal is to exceed the revenue and sales generated by my old employer, lure his best people to my company within 5 years, and drive him the fuck out of business.

Shea said...

I linked to this because everything in it including the comments are completely relevant in the world today

Ms. Kiyum said...

If I off him I just get a lump sum, right? I'd never off him. He's the bee's knees, and I don't care what he does for a living.