27 April 2008

Proselytizing My Crazy Beliefs To Young Soldiers

A young Specialist (an E-4) was hassled by a Major (an O-4) for his atheist beliefs in Iraq according to this New York Times article. Generally speaking, impressing political or religious beliefs in a coercive fashion is strictly forbidden and highly unethical in normal officer-enlisted relations. This is due to the fact that the authority held by officers in the military hierarchy should not fall outside of rigidly defined aspects that are essential to the mission. However, if this Major goes unpunished, that would finally set the precedent for me to force my religious beliefs on every Joe in theater!

My religion involves a modern, 21st century version of the Heaven's Gate sect, who courageously killed themselves with Nikes and bags packed in 1997 to get on the spiritually divine spaceship hiding amongst the Hale-Bopp comet. To meet up with our brothers, we will be looking at a 2009 departure to Jupiter where we will take a space truck to Alpha Centauri, which has a plethora of hot alien babes and free parking. All E-4 and below will be required to attend the weekly meetings on base or else they will have to clean latrines and they won't be allowed to use the phone bank.
Strap on those Nikes and join the party!


Grung_e_Gene said...


When I was at MCT, the young Marines were given a choice. Listen to a LtCol extoll the truth of creationism (as evidenced by his self-produced pamphlet) or clean the showers which were caked with the mud from hundreds of marines who hadn't showered for 3 weeks.

I choose to clean the showers instead of listening to an authority figure indoctrinate youngsters. Thinking on it afterwards I should have stayed and pointed out the FACT of evolution

LT Nixon said...


I would've chosen the showers as well. Good call.

Sisu said...

I would have chosen to clean the showers too, and I am a religious person. Before knickers get in a twist, it would not be fear of hearing a differing opinion, but rather a stand against forcing someone to accept one's belief system. Feels a little Spanish Inquisition-y. (Cue the music: "Noooooone expects the Spanish Inquisition!")

Isn't there some little document that the military defends that mentions freedom of religion? I thought I heard something like that....

So, you would only deny the use of the phone bank? I'd sign up just for the suggestion of free parking...

Bag Blog said...

I probably would have cleaned the showers too, but not because I am an atheist, but because I am a knot head.

By the way, evolution is still a theory. It is just a widely accepted theory.