26 April 2008

Unfunny Navy Humor and Zirkle

There's been some buzz about the imbecile Republican running for Congress in Indiana who thought it would be a swell idea to do outreach to political groups you usually don't hear about...in this case the local Neo-Nazi consortium in Indiana. Yikes, talk about a faux pas. Further investigation into Tony Zirkle's webpage indicates that the dude is a little, uh, weird:

I've been getting a flood of e-mails and phone calls, some of which include death threats, about my attempt to raise awareness of how the great porn dragon inspires Jews into pornography and prostitution and then, like the snake he is, turns the public against the Jews. Some have questioned whether there is any link to Jews and porn-prostitution.

Ah yes, the great porn dragon. Which seeks to undermine the very fabric of humanity in a sea of Chinese-made DVDs featuring fisting, DP, and sub-par storylines and cinematography.

Anyways, if you check out Tony Zirkle's "About" portion of the site, the guy went to the Naval Academy back in the late 80s. I have nothing against the fine Annapolis institution or its graduates, but as anyone in the Navy who did NOT attend the Academy knows, any discussion with a ring-knocker will involve the most schnooze-inducing conversation equivalent in pain level to discussion about the hottest babe on The Golden Girls. Academy grads love nothing more than talking about the academic rigors, those rough "plebe" years, and the awesomeness of their football team. Zzzzzzz. To counter all these years of verbal abuse I thought it would be funny to send out information about this unsavory Zirkle character asking my Academy buds if they were of the same indoctrination. Unfortunately, the jest did not go over well and I got an earful about how Zirkle was not really a true midshipmen.

I guess when your time on deployment is short, your temper becomes short as well. But if we can't share a laugh based on the mutual humiliation of others, is that a life really worth living? I say no.


Anonymous said...

How did they explain that he is "not really a true midshipmen" if he was at the Academy? Did he wash out and graduate from somewhere else?

Brian said...

1. I'm insulted at your portrayal of Academy guys.
2. Estelle Getty was the hottest Golden Girl.
3. Maybe the porn dragon actually exists. Did you ask Balms?

LT Nixon said...


Remember Balms porn stash that fell out of the overhead? That dude was a real piece of work. I love Balms.

subrookie said...

Porn dragon...way to take something so wholesome as porn and put the fear of 2nd degree burns to portions of your anatomy that don't take well to fire. Although think of the nurses putting burn cream on your... I digress.

Anonymous said...

What I believe pisses many an Academy grad off is when people portray themselves as graduates when they did not graduate from the institution or serve their country...ESPECIALLY when they use a picture of themselves in uniform(first picture no less) on their webpage to discuss their resume. It ruins the name of the institution when people such as this portray themselves as a grad and then attend KKK rallies.


Anonymous said...

sorry I used "portray" so much...I must also let it be known that I am a grad "canoe u".


Kyle said...

I love in his "Porn - Prostitution" section states that because of porn, the homosexual population has tripled.

Can't this guy just get hit by a bus. Better yet, a bus on its way to a Pride parade...


That picture is exactly how I pictured Annapolis class rooms from having dealt with midshipmen when I was in the Marines.... Take care sir!

Anonymous said...

In looking at his website, I read the part about Derrenger's For Dildos.

Uh -- this guy is nuts.

LT Nixon said...


Don't worry I still believe!


Yeah, the dude is pretty strange. I'm expecting the men in white coats to drag him away in the near future.


That's sounds pretty steamy!


I think most academy people chill out when their O-1s and they get into the real Navy/USMC, lest they be chastised as total pariahs.

Anonymous said...

This is the same Frederick "Tony" Zirkle that had a nervous breakdown in July 1990 shortly after Iraq invaded Kuwait. He was quietly "separated" from the Naval Academy.