01 May 2008

Violent Lovers Spat Downright Hilarious

In Pittsburgh, two newlyweds went clockwork orange on each other at their wedding (I'm assuming alcohol was a key factor in this):

The fight started Saturday night after a reception when he knocked her to the floor with a karate kick in the seventh-floor hallway of a Holiday Inn, according to police. It escalated when she attacked two guests from another wedding party who came to her aid, police said. The melee moved to an elevator and then to the lobby, where the couple threw metal planters at the two guests of the other party, causing minor injuries, police charged… She left with her father, still dressed in her white gown. Wielechowski left alone, sporting a swollen eye, tuxedo pants, a bloody T-shirt and one shoe.

The one shoe part reminds me of a day of debauchery in Guam many years ago, where we had to go retrieve my buddy's lone flip-flop from a bar the following day, which he claimed an obese woman stole...possibly to eat. I guess you're not having a wild enough time if you leave the place with both shoes.

If the suicide girls ever returned my stalker-like emails and text messages so we could finally get married, I wonder if the wedding would be like this?


olgreydog7 said...

mmmmm....Suicide Girls. You aoughta look into female roller derby when you get back. Always good for a fight!

LT Nixon said...

Yeah Roller Derby gals are babes too.