04 May 2008

How To Get $360 Billion Dollars When You're Baked

The Prez is asking for 70 billion extra big ones for the next fiscal year to help fund Iraq, Afghanistan, and aid in the global food crisis. This is more than likely going to end up in a filibusterin' stalemate that will cause months of schnooze-inducing debate on Capitol Hill. Bush should've just solicited advice from Fort Worth area stoner and taken a hokey ass check to the local bank branch (from Breitbart):

The 21-year-old North Texas man was arrested last week for trying to cash a $360 billion check, saying he wanted to start a record business, authorities said. Tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious—perhaps the 10 zeros on a personal check tipped them off, according to investigators... In addition to forgery, Fuller was charged with unlawfully carrying a weapon and possessing marijuana, Fort Worth police Lt. Paul Henderson said.

Despite weed providing the impetus for some pretty jammin' tunes and the chance to grub on Gino's pizza rolls for most of the afternoon, it should probably not be utilized to plan a well-thought out caper.

Dude, can I get some zig zags and 360 billion bones?