14 May 2008

The Pope Is Cool With Aliens

So...this one time I was out to sea, a few years back, standing watch and I had this strange fantasy. "Standing watch" on a submarine can roughly be explained in civilian terms by locking yourself in your closet with a bunch of other smelly dudes for 6 hours straight (no going to the bathroom, either) and making sure everyone writes down the temperature reading on the thermostat every 30 minutes. Also, you have to have your face planted on this periscope that goes outside your house and give reports to your mom (that's the captain) on the phone every so often. Anyways, I was sitting on the periscope on a really long stretch of sea time, and I swear to jeebus, I saw this thing that looked like a flying saucer. I was totally stoked that it was going to come beam me away from my misery and take me to a place filled with alien babes, beer that gets you drunk without the hangover, and an endless supply of zombie movies. To this day, I'm not sure if I missed my opportunity to achieve utopia, and everyone thought I was down right crazy. But, you know what, the Vatican says believing in extraterrestrial life is okay. From the AP:

The Vatican's chief astronomer says that believing in aliens does not contradict faith in God. The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory, says that the vastness of the universe means it is possible there could be other forms of life outside Earth, even intelligent ones.

No one can make me fun of me, since the Pope has got my back.

Take me with you to the alien planet, your holiness!