04 August 2008

Obama Porn

*Shudder*

Plato once noted that "Tyranny naturally arises out of Democracy", and nowhere is that more evident than a recent contest in Seattle's only news source: The Stranger. While on the ferry, I discovered that they are currently seeking 200-word submissions of saucy, erotic stories on Obama that probably should be published somewhere in the back of a discarded Swank. An example:

“I’m going to teach you about the audacity of grope,” Barry chortled as tossed his unfiltered Pall Mall to the limousine floor and lunged at me, his hungry hands snapping like crab’s claws, grabbing me in a way that I knew would leave bruises. He turned me over, popping the buttons off my shirt. “Say it!” he bellowed, snapping the band on my underwear. “You know you want to.” “Y-yes,” I moaned. “Yes…we…can…” as he sank deep into me…

It should be noted that The Stranger, along with the greater Seattle area, is known for its sarcasm. However, Obama stickers are plastered on Volvos and hybrids throughout the Puget Sound area, and Seattle's combination of eco-guilt and yuppie atmospherics make it easy pickins' for the Democrats this election cycle. Therefore, two possible outcomes exist with this bit of hilarity: 1) True Believers are going to get pissed off that The Stranger has the gall to slander Obama, or 2) We're going to see some raunchy stories about straight women and gay men looking to get railed by the Hope and Change train. Either way, it should prove entertaining.

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