10 December 2008

The Cutthroat Tactics of Whole Foods Corporate Hippies

The hackesyacks and Birkenstocks must be violently flying around the combination yoga/board room at Whole Foods headquarters, because they are playing hardball with one of their competitors, New Seasons. The feel-good megastore with crappy and non-delicious soy products, Whole Foods, has been embroiled in an anti-trust investigation by the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) since 2007. Whole Foods channeled the spirit of Jerry Garcia to fight back by suing the FTC on Monday, claiming they didn't have enough time to prepare a defense. Now they are subpoenaing emails and internal correspondence from one of the little guys in Oregon [Oregon Live]:

Whole Foods contends that New Seasons is at the heart of its defense in an antitrust case that, if lost, could cost the ritzy retailer big fines and the loss of the Wild Oats stores it gained across the country.

The subpoena demands two years' worth of New Seasons' weekly sales data, internal e-mails, inventory records, marketing and expansion plans. Whole Foods said it sent nearly identical requests to 93 other retailers and vendors nationwide, including two others in Portland -- the two-store Food Front chain and the lone People's Co-Op.
I've never been to one of these places, since I prefer my food to be chemically enhanced and injected with growth hormones. But, I've heard that it's a great place to meet babes for us PacNorWest people, and I also assume that people shop here and pay extra because of its image as "eco-friendly". It's funny that the powers that be for this crunchy establishment are such dicks. Reminds me of that "business hippie" who overcharges for weed in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.