02 January 2009

Well Cigarettes, We Had Some Pretty Good Times

The Joys of Quitting Smoking (Help me, I'm in Hell)

I have smoked about a pack of day since I was 17 years old, starting with Marlboro Mediums and then getting bit by the methol bug at about 20. Smoking has successfully gotten me through 4 years of college and 6.5 years of the Navy without be a total spaz, but I'm afraid the habit has got to go. Due to nanny-state wankers regulating every bit of our society, you can't smoke anywhere these days. Many people are repulsed by the habit, and I have been addicted for so long that I can't even sit through a two hour movie without taking a smoke break during a lull. Oh yeah, and it's bad for you or something.

Nicotine withdrawal is not as bad as kicking heroin, which involves vomiting and defecating all over yourself in what is affectionately described as "The Heroin Flu". But, it certainly isn't very pleasant. You start not being able to see clearly, you get snippy with everyone like some pushy Bostonian, and pretty much all you can think about is not being able to smoke. I don't have anything against the tobacco companies for providing a satisfying, stress-reducing product, but they sure do know how to make 'em addictive. Damn.

Anyways , here's a Simpsons clip that kind of applies anytime you decide to quit a vice:

I know I rarely write about my personal life, mostly because it's dull stuff. But I figured if I wrote this I would be compelled to quit. Sorry for its self-serving nature.

22 comments:

Ms. Kiyum said...

So you're getting out of the Navy and have decided life is worth living? Well, good luck. I have a facebook friend who publicly proclaimed her tobacco abstinence. The status updates got increasingly frantic until they stopped all together. I suspect she rang in the New Year with a smoke.

Contractor Dude said...

Don't do it!
I understand why you might want to quit, but you wouldn't be the same Lt without a smoke in hand. Still I wish you well in kicking it.

Shea said...

If it helps, President Elect Obama has been going through the same thing, although, you often see him chewing gum, which is actually nicorette gum, so maybe get some of the gum, I bet he'll be chewing a lot of it soon, you know you'll be on recall until 8 years are up, and indefinitely unless you resign your commission, but, I assume you know all of that, Your inteligence seems way above average,

Wek said...

Good luck man. Nicotine is a terrible thing to quit- I still can't stop the chewing tobacco thing entirely (started it as a dopey 15 year old baseball player and here I am 20 years later). Shea is correct about the gum. I don't use nicorette, but a good portion of the time bubble gum kills my desire for nicotine. What always sets me back are the nights I decide to throw down a few beers. For whatever reason booze seems to make chew seem like a really good idea.

Darren M said...

I started to quit a few times, but keep reminding myself that I am NOT a quitter.

LT Nixon said...

Yeah, I'm using the gum for this one (mint nicorette). It's working pretty well so far.

Anonymous said...

did you get tired of your parents basement? good luck - it is a tough one.

Liz

Darren M said...

do you actually chew the gum, or are you supposed to just let it sit there like a piece of candy?

ABWF said...

Yay on quitting smoking! My Mom quit about a year ago after decades of smoking. She went cold turkey with a little bit of aversive conditioning- a rubber band on the wrist that she snapped each time she thought about wanting a cigarette. I don't know why she didn't try the gum. Maybe because she could make it through an 8+ hour nursing shift without getting too bad off. She was kind of cranky for a while though- luckily I got to experience that at a distance :) Maybe we'll be treated to some vintage LT. N rants as you detox?

NS said...

Snippy Bostonian? WTF?

Mike said...

Quitting smoking is the hardest thing you'll ever do.

Have a dollar.

ten dewey said...

Say it aint so.

Lt. Joe said...

Heh, it got me through college, 8 years Marine Corps and 2 deployments.....only quit this year when I got back from deployment. Found out in the first week I was gone that my wife was pregnant....so I enjoyed it while I could in Iraq. Now I have a beutiful 3 month old....don't really miss it....but sometimes I hope to deploy again :).

Lt Joe

subrookie said...

Smoking menthol cigs in itself is enough to make you want to quit. I admit, I'm a sucker for bumming a cigarette when I drink. When I got out here they tax them so much I always offer a buck to whoever I ask.

Good luck

rayanne said...

I don't smoke but my parents did. Unfortunately I handle the effects of it on them now that they are older. Hopefully by quitting now, you can avoid all that later. It's horrible. If you ever feel like you need a reminder, just come on down to my house and meet my mom, that will make you quit and never look at another cigarette again, no gum or patch necessary.

dutchmarbel said...

After 4 years of quitting I thought I could try one cig, for old times sake... and was immediately hooked again. 8 months later I had to go through it all again, but it's been 9 years now!

I tried the gum and the patches, but prefer cold turkey. That way I know what I'm fighting (I hate being really addicted) and with the surrogates the sudden need for nicotine sneaks up on you while you feel comfortable.

Good luck! I currently have 2 friends diagnosed with terminal cancer related to smoking, but for me the health issues never motivated. I kept a little program on my pc counting the money I had NOT spend on cigarettes and that became pretty motivating pretty soon.

Barrage said...

Try to stop chewing! Started chewing to stop smoking about ten years ago.

Celebrating my first full year tobacco free as of the first! It only took five tries.

Good luck LT!

LogicallyLocked said...

Good luck! Just think of all the money you'll save!

Girl in the Middle said...

LT, did you spend New Year's Eve chain-smoking like a fiend in anticipation of quitting?

cathcatz said...

try hypnosis. it worked for my good friend, and she's tried to quit so many times, she lost count.

currently she's 3 months out, and did it while her hubby was deployed in iraq. he's home now, she's tobacco free, and they are starting a family.

awwwwww....

ibelieveinlifeafterlove said...

Dude...I am now three weeks into my cold turkey...join a gym (I know you dont want to) but it actually helps to work out while going through it man...

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