10 March 2009

Massive Consumer Monstrosity To Brighten Up Recession Malaise

Tacky, Even For New Jersey

A retro-looking uber-mall (code name Xanadu) is opening in north Jersey, and Time has an article about how it was probably the lousiest development idea since Ozymandias:
The Meadowlands location isn't scenic — it's surrounded by weedy wetlands, decrepit factories, shipping containers and railroads — and Xanadu's developers spent $2 billion on what seems like the most hideous spot on the lot. "It's basically a lot of junk," says former New Jersey Governor Brendan Byrne, for whom the basketball area at the Meadowlands was once named (it's now the Izod Center). "I drive by with friends and we're embarrassed."
One silver lining of a suckin' economy is that materialism gets put on the back burner to allow a rise in counter-culture activity (cf. the Punk Uprising during the malaise-ridden 70s). But, it seems we will continue to be treated to the same frosted-tipped douches watching reality TV and hassling the teenage waitresses at the mall's Ruby Tuesday's, even though everyone is unemployed and broke. Man that sucks.

Time notes that Xanadu was a strange Olivia Newton-John movie from 1980, but it was also a Nintendo RPG game from the late 80s which was advertised, in true nerd fashion, as "Daggers and Wingboots, Mantras and Monsters Await You". That's now been updated for 2009 as "Herp-Lips and Dry-Humping in the back seat of Dad's SUV Await You."

4 comments:

ibelieveinlifeafterlove said...

Dude...Lay off New Jersey...We brought you such great things as, The Boss, Bon Jovi, and Harold and Kumar's Trip to White Castle...
You are just jealous your state isnt building MORE malls, to use your credit cards at, spending money you do not have and depending on the nation to bail out the little guy who does not want to take any accountabliity for the mistakes made...

Nixon said...

haha, this post was to bait you. Had to make sure you weren't laid up with the drip or something.

ibelieveinlifeafterlove said...

No worries...I appreciate it...I am so glad there is penecillin for the things you get and can't wash off...
If you are on the east coast give me a call...

SK said...

Wish I had known you'd be in AZ!! We would have at least bought your dinner and offered you a place to stay. Concrete Bob'll vouch for the place :)