05 April 2009

The Awesome: North Korean Satellite To Provide 24/7 Edu-Tainment on Dear Leader!

The Pentagon says North Korea's little bottle rocket plunked in the drink somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, but don't believe their IMPERIALI$T LIES! Danger Room dug up a statement that is much closer to the truth from the ever-reliable Korean Central News Agency:

"The satellite is transmitting the melodies of the immortal revolutionary paeans 'Song of Gen. Kim Il Sung' and 'Song of Gen. Kim Jong Il' as well as measurement data back to Earth," KCNA said, referring to North Korea's founder and his successor.
Some friends and I were watching Garth Marenghi recently, and I hope Kim Jong Il does a Karaoke version of One Track Lover:

It'd definitely be an improvement over most of what passes for television these days.


Lisa said...

Yes, that would be brill!

subrookie said...

Were you wearing a cool smoking jacket when you were watching Garth?

You wonder what the Chinese think of their crazy dictator to the south. Not that their sane but do they say stuff like "yo' Il that oversized bottle rocket better not veer off course to the north bro"

I heard somewhere though that thing could hit Alaska. Granted it's a big state and a direct hit on one of the Allutians would probably just piss a volcano off, but if I was Japanese I'd be pissed off.

Anonymous said...

I say ignore them until they actually fire one off and hit us. then, we nuke Pyongyang, and the problem is solved.

Mezzo SF said...

"...cause the temperature's too high *fistpump*"
(that's my favorite part. I feel dirty now after watching it, though. HAHAHAHAH.)

Mike said...

So how long till Obama launches his own sattelite?

subrookie said...

Amazing in a time when China and Russia are expanding their military and North Korea is shooting an intercontinental missile across the bow we're cutting back on defense spending.

Whether or not Mr. Il sent up a rocket to pipe patriotic songs to the people....we need to buck up and not cancel or delay programs like new tankers, the Ford Class carriers, the F-22 program, etc. It is much easier to continue programs than start them from scratch.

Nixon said...


Gates just released some details of the budget, and I'm no expert on such matters, but there's some good reading on it over at Checks with Chart. I just like embedding videos of dudes doing the fist pump to "temperature's too HOT!!", haha.

MAS1916 said...

What is Obama going to do with this crisis? If this one is too good to waste, what can be done?

Look for the Leader to bury this in the UN until DPRK gets the thing to work. Then we'll all have a much different problem.

Jimmy Carter Obama is working this one.