09 April 2009

The Twilight Phenomenon: Do We Need to Sedate Our High School Girls?

Not being a tweenaged girl, I admit to not having an extensive knowledge base about the highly acclaimed Twilight series. It apparently involves a very realistic tale about some handsome, neck-biting vampire who gets the hots for some dullard of a band geek. And most importantly in our purity-ring obsessed society, they don't bone! Needless to say, the book and movie has inspired endless YouTube tributes with horrendous indie-rock in the background, as well as some fan art that was most likely doodled during 3rd period Civics class.

But, it's not all fun and games as some of the kids "too cool" for Twilight have discovered. Ms. K sent me this io9 post involving flare guns:

Not with a gun but with a signaling rocket, today or yesterday actually (time zones) me and 3 friends (1 female 2 males) were talking about how much Twilight sucks ass and were bashing it. We were down by the fishing docks on the north strip of the island watching the fishermen unload their catch when apparently a twi-hard overheard us behind some shipping basins (for stowing fish). She apparently just got off her fathers boat, and had a whole bunch of equipment. Including a red Orion single shot/use hand-held rocket flare (you know those tubes that you are suppose to hit the bottom and the rocket flies out? anyways she overheard us talking and pulled out this flare, from her basket of stuff. The last thing I herd was the cap flying off the front. With a loud psshhh sound my friend yelped and dropped to the ground. The flre bounced off him and flew to the ground. We kicked the flare away, just then the parachute popped out and a bright red light nerly blinded all of us. Four fishermen ran over to help, one saw everything and restrained the twi-hard (who was kicking and screaming). My friends left arm was sizzling where the rocket moter had burned him (thankfully not the para-flare or it would have been much worse). One of the fishermen shoved all of us in his pickup truck and drove us to the local hospital where my friend is still unable to completely use his left arm. The girl is being held on $50,000 bail for attempted murder with a deadly weapon. We plan to go to court in a week with all of us as witnesses.
This type of nastiness is what happens when young people refuse to be accepting in the cold fate of reality and continue to be deluded by such idealizations of romance. Stephanie Meyer's next book should confront what usually happens to teens in such a lusty relationship. The woman ends up pushing around a baby carriage to her shift at the Dairy Queen while the man spends the money for the baby clothes' on a new spoiler for his 91 Accord. Why not further stamp out the so-called innocent teen years?

11 comments:

Mezzo SF said...

that is craaazy.

dutchmarbel said...

I wouldn't trust the next book too much. Anyone who thinks that 18 is the perfect age to stay forever doesn't live in the same reality I do :)

But the crazy fan story is scary.

Ms. Kiyum said...

I have it on good authority that the assaulter was Logically Locked, and you are next, as you have insulted her new favorite book. :-P

Lisa said...

This is nuts -- is this a true story?

The crazy Twilight series has also found a niche with -- pathetic middle-aged and older women. Why? Because they all want that knight in shining armor, who will adore them for them, in a chaste, albeit slightly bad-boy way.

Why is chaste better than hot romance? I guess because in our hook-up society, you can have one (sex) without the other (romance). I think that characterizes most hook-ups.

The vampire's really old but looks damn good, so I'm imagining this is some kind of hopeful retribution for the older, once- imagined babes. The psychology is delicious, and that it speaks to the baby boomers freaks me out.

xenocles said...

Is "attempted murder with a deadly weapon" really a crime? I mean, wouldn't the deadly weapon part go without saying?

Nixon said...

Well, I don't mean to put down the series. heaven knows I'm into some weird shit. But when it translates into a cult-like phenomenon where people get shot with flare guns waiting for some vampire to swoop them off their feet, it warrants some attention.

Tough Girl 101 said...

That's hilarious....

And all you need to know about twilight you can read here: http://www.toughgirl101.com/2009/03/the-thing-about-edward-cullen/

LogicallyLocked said...

Yea, it was me, you all better watch out! MUAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! Ms. K you're just jealous cause I beat you to it!

I gotta say I read the books, and was fully prepared to hate them. But I ended up really liking the series. However, I'm not obsessed over Edward Cullen or any of the other characters in the book. It's a fucking book for Christ's sake. People get all kinds of retarded over this shit.

Apparently there's some new phenomena where women are divorcing their husbands and leaving their boyfriends cause they don't live up to Edward Cullen. Give me a break.

I'm on to the True Blood series now any way. ;)

olgreydog7 said...

Two years from now people will wonder what all the fuss was about. They will be in the same bargain bin as Nsyc cd's and the Not Quite Human books.

Lisa said...

olgreydog7,

It is naught but an old story, rehashed. I guess the fact that older ladies go for it speaks of the dashed hopes of so many for romance.

I fear that if an Edward approached in the throes of passion, they would not really offer their neck. So many settle for the good househusband, and they are the dull housewives.

Zach said...

Words cannot express how much I hate this series...

http://theanti-mainstream.blogspot.com/