29 April 2008

What Conservative Babes Are Thinking

My weak attempt at meeting Liberal Babes bombed when they found out my old job involved clubbin' baby seals. Since that blue state sector of the population is now off-limits to anyone with access to google, I must search elsewhere. Right Wing News (h/t Sniper) has interviews with six wingnutted ladies on what they're looking for in a guy. Most seem to think that liberal guys are bunch of self-centered, whiny weenies. There also seems to be a consensus that the time-tested "dinner and a movie" is a guaranteed schnooze fest (that's girl code for the guy's not getting any). At least Ms. Holmes (pictured below) says she'll see a movie, but she'll judge the guy on what movie he picks. My future ex-wife explains:
With my guy friends, I'd want to go see something like Cloverfield, but I wouldn't want to see the Hills Have Eyes part 6. It says something about a guy when he can choose something that a girl will want to see also
Wouldn't want to see the Hills Have Eyes?!? I guess I'm SOL. I thought all chicks loved radioactive mutants going around wreaking havoc. She sounds like a hard woman to please. Sheesh. I guess I'll have to keep my midget porn collection under wraps too.

So... you wanna go protest Planned Parenthood then head back to my place


subrookie said...

I got to stop trolling your blog. Just get yourself stationed at NAS Whidbey or Bangor, liberal Obama fans galore here. Just insert "I did seal research" for the phrase "I clubbed seals" and your set.

Your problem is your a sandbox sailor. That or had the misfortune of being stationed at NAS Fort Worth. Not a hotbed of liberal chickdom. It's better for you LT conservative chicks actually shave.

Bag Blog said...

I'm afraid Ms. Holmes may not be for you. She seems to think that there are guys out there who are not after sex. These girls need a reality check - how can they expect a man to be manly one minute and take her to a chick-flick the next?

Anonymous said...

So you're going to limit your field to conservatives? Maybe you should give ALL the women a chance first and then you can start setting limits. (What? I wasn't being sarcastic at all!)

Anonymous said...

Dude, just import a bride. She'll watch The Hills Have Eyes and like it, or go back to Vietnam.

Mezzo SF said...

o.m.g. hilarity.

I've got to stop attempting to read your blog whilst driking hot liquids. Inevitably I start laughing and then it's all down hill from there . . .

Ms. Kiyum said...

No "babe," conservative or liberal, wants to see your booger collection. If you need any other lady advice, just let me know.

Anonymous said...

Jesus! Why a Black woman would want to be right-wing is beyond me!! Oh well--probably a Rice wannabe; maybe she'll wake up!

Anonymous said...

What is it with military men and midget porn? I just don't get it...
In addition to Ms. Kiyum's suggestion about boogers, I advise against eating your own ear wax during a date.

LT Nixon said...

Ms. Kiyum,

My goblin collection is impressive. Any mother would be proud.


I'll have to try that angle when I get back to WA.

Bag Blog,

I could pull that one off!


I see you got in a tiff with TSO over at the Sniper. Congrats on the new blogger profile, now you just need a picture/avatar, and angry blogging denizens will stop flinging wild accusations.


Glad you enjoy!


What are you, posting from the 1950s or something? The time machine leaves shortly, you can probably catch a ride.


I dunno, midget porn is just totally awesome.

Thus Spake Ortner said...

So, you're saying chicks DON'T DIG the midget porn as a first date?

This blog is quite educational I'd say.

And I can only apologize to Kath so many times. I swear I thought she was someone else. Kath is my newest favoritest person, for putting up with my snark as long as she did!

Anonymous said...

Time machine is quite correct, LT--the country, in going rightward, HAS been set back about 50 years. I still say it--Blacks, especially, have NO business AT ALL being right-wing. Far as I'm concerned, right-wing Blacks might as well join the Klan. But, methinks, there would be something that'd keep 'em out! Now if you said go back to the 60's, I'd agree w/you. People NEED to start thinking, and rebel. It beats the hell out of everyone being in lockstep, rubber-stamping the neo-con agenda!

LT Nixon said...


Haha, Kath puts up with a lot of BS. She keeps coming back to this creepy blog to make comments, fergodsakes.


right-wing Blacks might as well join the Klan.

What is this all about? I merely posted a picture of a conservative babe, and this post wasn't really about one ethnicity or another...just babes (note: this blog is equal oppurtunity when it comes to babe-related posts). Ms. Holmes is obviously attractive. Why do you have to bring race into every gosh darn conversation...I just don't understand.

Anonymous said...

TSO- babes who are at least partially sane don't dig the midget porn on any date. That being said, I'm sure you can find some takers out there.

olgreydog7 said...

At least your from Cali, chick in blue states leave immediatly when they find out I'm from Texas

Anonymous said...

LT--I saw the lady, and seeing that she is Black and right wing, THAT'S why I commented. Most right wingers are basicly like Nazis and the Klan in my opinion, so I fail to see why any Black in their right mind would embrace the right wing. And this is the 3rd time, I've posted, so I'm puzzled why you'd say I "bring race into every gosh-darn conversation".

LT Nixon said...


Just tell 'em you're from Austin. I thought that place was full of hipsters.


Most right wingers are like the KKK or Nazis? You definitely have a worldly view that is tolerant of others' opinons. Kudos!