09 December 2008

Getting Our Ass Kicked By Asia in the Robot Wars

Cyberdyne Now Owned by the Chinese

America once held promise that we would lead the way in Human-Robot relations for the new millennium. From Isaac Asimov's fundamental laws to that housekeeping chick in Small Wonder, and culminating with under-sexed nerds engaging in robot-on-robot Battlebot action earlier this decade. Unfortunately for those who dream of an automated society in America, the engineering genius in creating miniature robots to saw each other in half has been replaced with terrible reality TV shows about Mom's facelift.

But, we only need to look across the Pacific to see the future of the robo-lution taking shape. Japan has designed robot girlfriends, soccer-playing robots have seized our hearts, and now Mr. Yulu, a Chinese Farmer, has completed his 26-strong robotic army. From Weird Asia News:
Wu’s home is near Beijing and he has plunged his family into debt by spending up to two-thirds of his monthly income on his robot creations. He has been forced to sell some of them to pay bills.

Wu considers all the robots as his sons, and has names for them according to the order in which they were invented, ranging from Wu No.1 to Wu No.26.

“They are all my sons, so they must bear my surname” said Wu.
I for one welcome Wu's "sons" and all the rest of their robo-overlord comrades. No doubt we will be conquered by these concoctions while we Americans bicker about the auto bailout like a bunch of clowns. But who needs science and math to make sure our children are able to design future superior androids, when they could be learning about how awful Thanksgiving is.