Virginity Pledgers Can't Keep It in Their Pants

Surprisingly, Young People Want To Do It

A recent study concerning the ineffectiveness of "virginity pledges" is a slap in the face to the religious folks who say that being abstinent is the only way to go and masturbating will cause hair on your palms. Apparently, even though pledgers have that awkwardly short "first time" later on in life, they are just as likely to get knocked up out of wedlock and get STDs as their culturally conservative counterparts. This study conveniently coincides with the Granny Palin story. From CNN:

In the analysis, Rosenbaum compared 289 young adults who took virginity pledges in their teens with 645 young people who did not take such a pledge. The researcher was careful to only compare teens who had similar views on religion, birth control and sex in general, regardless of whether or not they took a pledge.

Five years after the initial survey the study subjects were aged 20 to 23. Eighty-two percent of pledge takers denied (or forgot) they had ever taken such a vow. Overall pledge takers were no different from non-pledge takers in terms of their premarital sex, anal and oral sexual practices, and their probability of having a sexually transmitted disease.

Both groups lost their virginity at an average age of 21, had about three lifetime partners, and had similar rates of STDs. "And the majority were having premarital sex, over 50 percent," says Rosenbaum. Overall, roughly 75 percent of pledgers and non-pledgers were sexually active, and about one in five was married.

I can't knock anyone for wanting to stay "pure". With all the weird diseases out there it's respectable and even the subject of some damn fine movies. But just saying that you're taking a "pledge" because your parents or your minister told you so might not be the best method. Young people who desire to rock the V credentials should go with time-tested birth control techniques like being ugly, a nerd, and/or a blogger.

Nerds? NERDS!

Came across this little gem on the LiveLeak feed. I believe it's some sort of live-action Dungeons and Dragons out in the woods with grown-up geeks. TSO will be able to confirm the validity.

From now on, whenever you go out on the town, you have to shout "lightning bolt!" to get slow-moving gawkers out of the way.

The Terl Awards: Worst of the Worst in 2008

God, what a shitass year it has been for our country. Economic meltdown, a depressing election cycle, and the rise of the boy band Jonas Brothers signifying that our taste in music is continuing its sad decline. How fitting that our President Elect, whom everyone seems to love for reasons unbenownst to myself, throw up a nonchalant Shaka while everyone else got a pink slip for Christmas and a massive diplomatic crisis is underway in the Middle East. Under normal circumstances, you'd think it couldn't get much worse, but just wait what 2009 has in store.

To commemorate our nation's annual malaise, I present you with the Terl awards. You are probably asking who or what the fuck is "Terl". He's John Travolta's character from the colossal dud of a movie Battlefield Earth, pictured below center with cod piece.
As far as movies go, Battlefield Earth (with an abominable 3% on the tomatometer) is like Howard the Duck times Ishtar to the Gigli'th degree. It really represents everything crappy about America. A bumbling pack of lummoxes with a pushy, agenda-driven movie that has way too big a budget and no sense of humor. In that spirit, here's the worst of the worst in 2008.

Worst Occupation in America - Wall Street Exec/Politician: They seem to be one in the same these days. It was bad enough that these greedy boobs had to ruin the world economy by pushing a endless stream of bunk loans that assumed home prices were going to go up forever. But then they had to rip off the American taxpayer to continue their failed business model, and in typical politico fashion, the bailout bill was loaded up with enough pork to feed a Hawaiian army. The bailout's defenders in the media seem to be suspiciously involved with the major banks, and the conventional wisdom is that not wanting to bail out all these yahoos makes you a "neo-Hooverite". WTF. I'd rather live in a trailer in Sheboygan, Wisconsin because of a collapsed real estate market than be some serf to the power class that we all have become.

Worst Campaign - McCain/Palin: I'm a Navy officer guy like McCain, and me and him both supported Teh Surge! , so you would assume I'd vote for him come election day. But the guy just got really creepy as the campaign went on. There were gaffes galore, including justification for staying 100 years in Iraq by saying it would be similar to Germany/Japan (uh, no), and then he had to pull off dumb stunts like flying into DC to "save the economy". Then he picked Palin. Great, just what America needed, another super-religious governor that knew nothing about foreign policy to prove to the world that we are a nation of embarrassing imbeciles.

Worst Movie - The Day the Earth Stood Still: Right when a nasty cold front swept the nation leaving everyone from Vegas to Maine freezing their keesters off, Hollyweird had to release a pushy movie on the evils of mankind's ways that only an alien Keanu could redeem. If only global warming was working in that ticket line, I damn near got frostbite.

Worst Blog - The Huffington Post: If you ever wondered what self-righteous, limousine-liberal celebrities have to say about "the little people", look no further than The Huffington Post. See Roseanne preach anti-semitism with poor grammar, see people who don't know shit about the military advocate major changes in our Department of Defense, and see shameless aggregating to boost hit counts in action. LA socialite-cum-Obama worshiper Arianna Huffington also came out with a book this year in which blogs are hailed as the most important place to get information since "Tom Paine". If the Huffington Post is the "new media", we'd probably be better off using carrier pigeons.

Worst Moran - Naomi Wolf: In order to shill copies of her lame book, Naomi Wolf tried to indicate on NPR that 3ID, under the command of NORTHCOM, was going to institute an "October Surprise" so Bush could stay in power through martial law. This was long after Jason Sigger debunked this ridiculous claim, but I think some whackos on the left still wanted to believe it was going to happen to confirm their delusional conspiracy theories. Unless I was executed in the civil unrest, and the last two months have actually been a strange Pincher Martin-like hallucination in purgatory, I don't think the "surprise" happened. She'd be better off trying to push her other wildly popular ideas, like why wearing a hidjab/headscarf is actually "quite intimate" and how pornography is destroying society.

Worst Scandal - Hot Rod Blagojevich: You know, on Christmas Day in 1989, Romania's notorious communist couple (the Ceausescus) were executed on public television for crimes against humanity. No fuss, no muss. Have we somehow regressed in how we as a world deal with tyrants? I'm not saying an eternal dirtnap for Rod's hair is in order, but this asshole is sure making a mockery of democracy with some pretty obvious evidence against him.

Worst Internet Phenomenon - LOLcatz: The FAIL meme was funny. Stuff White People Like was funny before the guy totally sold out. LOLcatz should be relegated to the background of a 12 year-old's MySpace page...and I'm a cat guy! Maybe I'm just not sophisticated enough for this kind of humor. Why the fuck would a cat be on a phone anyways?

Worst Prediction - Sadr and Iran will Control Iraq: Back in March when Prime Minister Maliki decided to take down the Mahdi Army, there was predictably a period of conflict in Sadr City and Basra where the thugs were entrenched. As the coalition and the Iraqi Army took the fight to the streets, the anti-war zealots took the opporutunity to slam Bush with the rhetoric, saying that embassy personnel were going to have to be helicoptered off Saigon-style. That was in March, and now you don't hear much from Sadr anymore and most of the Mahdi Army dudes are dead, detained, or in exile...of course you don't hear much about Iraq at all from the pundit class or the media these days. Count that as a blessing. This event conveniently coincided with the 4000 KIA in Iraq, which some on the left (see the worst blog above) used as an opportunity to cash in on the political Bush-bash punditry at the expense of dead soldiers. Anything goes in an election season, I guess. But don't you dare question their patriotism or their "support of the troops". Maybe if they took off their dogmatic anti-war blinders, they could have figured out what was really going on.

Worst Under-reported Story in the Media - Mexico Drug Cartel Wars: America has long had cultural ties with our neighbor to the south (ever been to L.A.?), but our media has been completely ignoring the disturbing rise in violence due to drug cartel violence. Death tolls that dwarf Afghanistan violence continue to rack up, grenade attacks occur in the streets, but these stories get sent to the back pages of the paper somewhere near the Family Circus cartoon and the ambulance-chaser ads. There certainly isn't any serious discussion of revamping our drug policy to prevent the slaughter. The media often complains that reporting in a conflict zone is expensive and takes too much time. C'mon guys, I used to drive down to Tijuana on a Saturday for cheap drinks while unsuccessfully seeking out the "El Burro" show. You don't even have to stop when you drive south across the border...seriously you just have to slow down as the Mexican border police wave you through! Would it be that difficult to get a "crack journalist" with a notepad and few pesos down there?

Worst Viral YouTube Video - Yes We Can by Will.i.am: This video is pretty much the embodiment of every annoying, self-righteous attitude about Obama supporters. There is no reason to believe that any politician in today's system is anything but a power-hungry crook who would sell out their own grandmother for a few votes from whatever the special interest dishing out the most money was that day. But, oh no, not my Obama, he's different! Uh, change or something. If this guy is anything short of the second coming of Jesus Christ bearing free iPods and Whole Foods gift certificates, there is going to be some serious buyer's remorse in this country.

In conclusion, everything is pretty fucked. Buy canned foods and dig a fallout shelter in your backyard.

Gun Buy-Back Program Goes Over Like a Lead Balloon in Denver

With the imminent collapse of society, firearms have been selling faster than Hannah Montana twat shots. So a program to buy people's guns back for a lousy 50 bucks predictably went down in flames. From the Denver Post (h/t Moonbattery):

Organizers of a supposed gun buy-back had dozens of people lining up to turn in their weapons, although only 15 were collected today for the Denver Police Department to destroy and melt down.

Held at New Covenant Christian Church in Denver to raise awareness about gun violence, the gun buy-back turned into a gun give-back event when the program could not afford to pay $50 as initially advertised.

The Rev. Reginald Holmes, a pastor at the church, said about 40 people with a total of 120 guns showed up but were turned off to the idea of just donating their guns.

"It's a tough economy, people want an incentive," Holmes said.

Denver Million Family March Organization leader Alvertis Simmons said a lack of response and support from the community has been an "appalling silence."

Sorry Ms. Simmons, but the only "appalling silence" would be a jam on your AR-15 when zombies were breaking down the door. Firearms and what you learned from the Road Warrior might be the only thing saving your ass when civil society falls apart. Just ask a Korean businessman in Los Angeles who was around in 1992.

This is an example of a touchy-feely social engineering program designed to sound good but is highly impractical, which Colorado has a history of. During the DNC this year, they had a carbon-offset program for attendees which raised a whopping $18.34 for a busted wind turbine. I see the Good Idea fairy is not just limited to staff officers in the military.

What If They Gave a War and No Reporters Came?

The above picture of lovely Iraqi ladies is a shot from the Baghdad beauty pageant a few weeks back depicted in WaPo's Unseen Iraq, and unless you count the shoe-throwing guy, it was probably the most in-depth reporting from Mesopotamia by an American outlet in weeks. That's probably why it comes as no surprise that the American networks are pulling the plug in Iraq. From Newsbusters:

So right on cue, Monday's New York Times reports that ABC, CBS and NBC have all pulled their full time reporters from Iraq. According to correspondent Brian Stelter, the lack of violence means the networks are less interested in the Iraq story: "Representatives for the networks emphasized that they would continue to cover the war and said the staff adjustments reflected the evolution of the conflict in Iraq from a story primarily about violence to one about reconstruction and politics."

Indeed, Iraqi civilian deaths plummeted to 5,714 for all of 2008 and U.S. deaths were down to just over 300. While that is still painfully high, the annual murder rate in America is at about 16,000 and will inevitably rise as the economy collapses around us. While the per capita rate is lower since the U.S. is about 10x as populous as Iraq, it gives you something to think about. It also gives a lot of credence to preconceptions about the media that "If it Bleeds, It leads!"

But aren't we at war as a nation, and what about all those "good news" stories the media never prints? Well, I think the "good news" stories were partly a method by which fervent Bush supporters could buttress their arguments against those "defeatist Democrats". Likewise, stubborn anti-war advocates eschewed all critical analysis and trumpeted everything that jackass Muqtada al-Sadr said as the imminent collapse of Bush regime. Except for some exceptionally dedicated reporters who spent a lot of time in Iraq, I don't think we ever really got much news that went beyond just the usual focus on domestic politics (from the American outlets at least). Talking heads on the big networks just shilling for their team with the Iraq talking points du jour doesn't really lend itself to extensive analysis and in-depth reporting. What a shame.

On the bright side, milblogs have provided an interesting perspective on what's happening with our soldiers over there, but they still don't have the saturation power of a dedicated bureau. Oh well, at least we can get plenty of coverage of mega-hunk Obama throwing up the shaka in Hawaii!

Will There Be Mass Protests Against The Murder of 14 Afghan School Children?

e.g., the Indian Embassy bombings in Kabul did little to outrage the Middle East

The Israelis are striking Gaza for a second day, and protesters from across the Arab world are lining up with a vengeance. From Tehran to London, the usual ruckus of anti-Zionist rhetoric can be heard loud and clear. Like the fat woman at a club, this blog steers clear of taking an opinion on the Israeli/Palestinian issue, since a small strip of land with few resources in which three major religions lay claim might prove troublesome for discussion. But the Middle Eastern outrage at Israel, has failed to materialize as terrorists murder their own fellow Muslims (with the exception of Iraqis).

Recently, 14 schoolchildren were murdered by a suicide bomber in Khost, Afghanistan. The grisly video of the attack can be viewed here. Are there going to be imams in Saudi Arabia and protesters in Cairo gathering to condemn this atrocity? Highly doubtful. IraqPundit has some sharp insight on why this is the norm in a post entitled "Right Civilians, Wrong Civilians":

Arabs are ready to protest when the U.S. does something wrong (Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo). Arabs are ready to protest when civlians get killed by the U.S. or Israel. But rarely if ever do they protest when some hate-filled extremists kill civilians. I'm talking about Iraqi civilians. I don't recall huge demonstrations against the suicide bombers and other extremists in Iraq responsible for the murder of most civilians.

The Arab Street accepts the extremists as noble fighters. They see them as decent fellows who had no choice but to turn violent in the face of injustice. And because they are noble fighters, people forgive them when they kill civilians. On Friday a Hamas rocket killed two Palestinians kids. Poor children didn't know they were the wrong kind of civilians.

That's the injured Palestinians' problem. They're the wrong kind of civilians. This Arabic report says Hamas admits that they are preventing injured from going to Egypt for treatment. The principled Hamas leaders say it's not fair of Egypt to open Rafah crossing just for the injured, they should open it for fighters and smugglers as well. Too bad for the injured, they must be sacrificed for the cause.

The frustrated Arab Street is angry that their voices are ignored. I agree they have much to protest about when it comes to their nasty regimes. People have every right to be angry about Abu Ghraib, etc. But perhaps if the Street objected to the killings of all civilians, more people would listen.

The fact that much of the world's Islamic community forgoes condemning terrorism and accepts them as "freedom fighters" represents, in some ways, a strategic communications failure on America's part. When people in the Middle East still overwhelmingly believe that the U.S. or Israel was behind 9/11, it is obvious that we are not succeeding in enabling moderate messengers in troubled regions rife with terrorist activity. This will be a serious diplomatic challenge for the incoming Obama administration, and I hope he doesn't shrug off this key component of our current efforts to curb terrorism.

Ford's Inferno: Communist Propaganda From the 50s

Another item of interest located in my mother's basement (no, I don't live there!), that I felt was worth sharing. My Great-Grandmother had some McCarthy-era leaflet from 1957 designed to warn Michiganders about the insipid communist threat, and it was an actual excerpt from a Soviet textbook discussing America. It talked about how the auto plants in Michigan were soul-sucking capitalist machines hell-bent on the destruction of the American proletariat. Michael Moore, eat your heart out, because this propaganda is way more professional. Click to enlarge:

Some money quotes include:

"America is supposed to be the land of individualism. But Fordism is the thing that capitalists have established in many parts of the country, and want to make universal. They want a land of robots, who will work themselves out by the time they are forty and then go off somewhere and die."

"The Soviet workers get vacations of a month with full pay; they have no fear of unemployment or accident"

"Here you pass through an inferno of fear. You can see it in the eyes of these men. They know that any minute they may find themselves in the streets without any work."

The quality of life for the American autoworker was far better than any Soviet, as people from the impoverished South and overseas (like my ancestors) flocked to Detroit to earn a decent wage in the auto factories. It's odd how leftist propaganda during the cold war was incredibly analogous to official Soviet propaganda. Just saying.

Too Much Egg Nog for Santa

If the psycho Santa in California was reminiscent of the Christmas classic Silent Night Deadly Night, then this inebriated Santa is channeling Billy Bob Thornton. Check out Santa getting hassled by the police for being totally blitzed:

Santa is going to need a lawyer and a PR spokesman next year after all this bad publicity.

Great Balls of Fire

Hey Ladies! Look at me!

A gentleman from Sweden attempted to impress his special ladyfriend by lighting his arm on fire with gasoline. Obviously, the scent of charred flesh and subsequent trip in the meat wagon did little for the romance. From The Local (h/t Nutty News):

The woman told police in Västervik in south eastern Sweden that her boyfriend poured gasoline over his arm and set the fuel on fire. “It obviously didn’t go well. He burned his arm and other parts of his body and was in a state of shock,” said Kalmar police spokesperson Reine Johansson to the TT news agency. “Don’t ask me what the point of the trick was supposed to be.” The 33-year-old man was taken via ambulance to the hospital in Västervik. According to police he will likely need specialized care at the burn clinic of Linköping University Hospital.

Note to hospitalized guy, the flaming arm gag is unnecessary, as simply putting on boardshorts and acting like a jackass will get the attention of all the babes.

Tom Cruise Takes on The Man For the Holidays

Railing against unjust authority is a value steeply rooted in our traditions. From the hated British during our Revolution to that douchebag bossman who yelled at you for clocking out five minutes early, people will always cast a leery eye towards "the man" in charge. This year has certainly seen a prevalence of figures in power rip off the American public for billions, and the unpopularity of "the man" is reaching epic proportions. The movie Valkyrie capitalizes on that animosity by bringing us a great WWII thriller about the assassination of the worst "the man" of all, Adolf Hitler.

It is heavily sentimental in the fact that Tom Cruise's character is compelled by duty and honor of a soldier to end Hitler's tyrannical regime by assassination. There are highlights of many embittered members of the German officer corps towards the end of the war, which is a different tone than the assumption that anyone affiliated with the Nazis was evil (Schindler's List had a similar theme). Since the movie is based on a true story, the attempted coup was unsuccessful. But, it emphasizes, as Eric notes, the right to overthrow the government if it is unjust, which is certainly applicable today.

Last Week of 2008

New Year's, the greatest holiday of all, is upon us. That means more boozing and more reminiscing on what a lousy year 2008 has been. Later this week we'll be rolling out the Terl awards to celebrate the worst of the worst in '08. In the meantime, don't forget to partaayy.

Creepy Nixon-Era Buttons Unearthed in Mother's Basement

My folks are kind enough to let me smoke in the basement, so rummaging through their stuff, I found these Nixon campaign buttons. My mother wasn't old enough to vote in '72, but she may have had some Alex P. Keatoneque fascination with the guy in high school. I have no idea what to make of the "Senior Power" button...some questions are best left unasked.

I Toldja Santa Was Evil!

And not just in a drunken stupor, Bad Santa-kinda way. From the City of Angels [CNN]:

At least three people were found dead after a man dressed as Santa Claus started shooting at a Christmas Eve party in suburban Los Angeles, police said Thursday.

An 8-year-old girl and a woman in her 20s were hospitalized with gunshot wounds that authorities do not consider life-threatening.

Crews took a third person to a hospital with an injury that wasn't life-threatening and wasn't caused by gunfire, said police in Covina, a city about 20 miles east of downtown Los Angeles.

The shooting started around 11:30 p.m. Wednesday.

When police arrived at the two-story house, they discovered a fire that caused "significant damage." Authorities found three people dead inside but said they do not know how the three died. Their identities had not been released Thursday morning.

That's messed up.

Joe to the World!

From the blog roundup of those deployed in support of operations, I forgot to include Ramblings from a Painter, who works for the State Department at the new fantabulous embassy (he's pictured above). The post got a link from one of the bigger bloggers, Spencer Ackerman, so hopefully these folks will get the recognition they deserve. Thanks Spencer. Also, CJ has the message to the troops from the President Elect if you are interested.

For Christmas Santa left me Nikki Sixx's Heroin Diaries...it's pretty good! I've always wondered how the four guys from Motley Crue stayed alive all these years, and reading Nikki Sixx's diary from 1987 makes the paradox even more baffling. I always get a gag gift for someone, usually a Chuck Norris movie or something, and this year the lucky recipient was my pops, who received the following:

Merry freaking Christmas.

Help! Under Attack By Fatso in Red Suit

Evil Robot Santa Takes No Prisoners

According to NORAD, some overweight glutton named Santa Claus is careening towards North America under the guise of bringing "gifts" to children who've been good. We never determined if Santa was a communist in disguise or a plutocrat seeking to proliferate over-consumption, but the end is definitely nigh. Before I succumb to my wounds, I'd like to wish a happy holidays to all the people serving time overseas so that I can sit on my duff blogging half-assedly, drinking cheap beer, and awaiting the inevitable yuletide violence. Check them out:

Iraq:
Bad Dogs and Such
Fobbits Need Ice Cream Too (just got back!)
Navy Gal (just got back too!)
Peace and War Times
Pink's War
S4 at War
Something on the Staff
War on Big Tobacco

Afghanistan:
Afghanistan Shrugged
Embrace the Suck
The Left Captain

I tried to send one of those video greetings to the troops at Blackfive, but I'm not sure if they're going to make a Xmas video like they did last year. Not that my mug is what anyone would want to see on Christmas, but I kept it short and my pants were on the whole time.

The Vietnamization of Afghanistan

For some damn reason Jane Fonda, the traitorous swine, was all up in my gmail account, yapping about how great Code Pink was an anti-war organization:

Dear LT,
As an actor, I know the power of the screen. As an activist, I also know the power of taking a message off the screen and onto the streets. That's why I love CODEPINK--it not only utilizes the best of the visual media with its vibrant pink presence; the women of CODEPINK are also out in the world...

Apparently old hippies never die, they just get senile and spread their messages through the internet rather than half-baked drum sessions. But unlike Vietnam, the beginning of operations in Afghanistan were hardly controversial in 2001. The Taliban, a despicable regime, was harboring terrorists that perpetrated one of the greatest atrocities in American history. The authorization for the use of military force did not take long to pass in DC. But as Iraq winds down, and people look for ways to divert money from defense for the sake of keeping people on the public dole, expect opposition to Afghanistan to begin ramping up.

In some cases, leaders of large progressive policy groups don't even bother trying to rationalize why the war must have an end...not even a catchy tune that you can slap on a protest sign. They just say we need to give money to irresponsible citizens who splurged on McMansions. From Huffington Post:

With housing prices continuing to plummet, not helping them means the financial system is being buttressed on top of a time bomb...But perhaps we'd be wiser to leave bin Laden in his cave, abandon the entire wrong-headed misnomer of a "war on terror," and give up attempting to build a new democracy in a country on the other side of the world. Make aggressive global policing, intelligence sharing, and a crackdown on financial flows the core of our reaction to bin Laden, and focus our resources and attention on the crisis here at home, which remains truly terrifying to anyone who looks at it closely.

The mission in Afghanistan does not provide a direct paycheck into people's pocket, so as the public gets more desperate to go back to their excessive living of SUVs, reality TV, and subprime mortgages, they are going to be easily swayed by politicians making promises. Maybe the next administration will do the right thing and look for new tactics and diplomacy to put the mission back on track, but the American people are going to be bitching every step of the way during these hard times. The college protesters, progressive bloggers, and other layabouts who speak the loudest for the anti-war movement will be making a lot more sense to more and more Americans.

Instant Rimshot To Provide Hours of Zany Antics

Sorry that it's a bit of a snoozer in the news cycle this holiday season, but A-ro digs up quite possibly the most versatile and entertaining website to come along since Retrojunk. Behold! It's instantrimshot.com, which A-ro lauds:

If you need quick access to an ironicly-placed rimshot sound to mock your friends, or a genuinely-placed rimshot to put your great joke over the top, you've come to the right place.

For all those bad jokes you are certain to here while you celebrate jeebus with the in-laws, this classic sound will add to the awkward hilarity. Now, if only someone made a website dedicated to the foghorn sound for whenever someone stinky walked in the room.

That's My Commander in Chief!

President Bush has been making the rounds on the alphabet networks to drum up support for his legacy of having presided over these tumultuous past 8 years. The following quote to Charles Gibson reminded us all of what kind of executive branch we've been blessed with. From Politico:

For a man on a bon voyage tour, Bush has tried to sound unconcerned about how history will judge him.

“I’ll be frank with you. I don’t spend a lot of time really worrying about short-term history,” he told Gibson. “I guess I don’t worry about long-term history, either, since I’m not going to be around to read it.”

For a guy with record low approval ratings both here and abroad, you'd think he'd totally be banking on future historians treating him kindly. Rather, this is allegorical for a presidency unable to comprehend long-term consequences of its decisions and threw practical policy out the window for the purpose of gratifying a small group of Americans. Some events that will forever mar the "Bush legacy":

Faux Patriotism Post-9/11: A surge of nationalistic pride engulfed America following the horrendous events of 9/11 (remember "United We Stand"). A nation's survival is entirely dependent on the will of its citizenry, and sacrifices are necessary in a time of war to ensure that the country is successful in its endeavors. But instead of the iconic Rosie the Riveter, we got Paris the Ditsy Shopaholic, as Bush encouraged the nation to be patriotic by...shopping? The burden of conflict was shifted entirely to a small group of law enforcement officials, intelligence experts, and, of course, the military. Use of policies like IRR callups and the Stop-Loss program ensured a "back-door draft" so that responsibility fell on the shoulders of a small percentage of the voting bloc. The president handed out free government goodies like prescription drugs in an attempt to keep the public from voicing their dissent, while they floundered with no strategic vision for the modern conflicts.

The Gitmo Fiasco: If you would've told me 7 years ago that people would be up in arms about perceived mistreatment of a terrorist murderer like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, I'd would've said to get your head examined. But, the lack of disclosure to the public surrounding the detention facility has caused serious diplomatic problems worldwide as America's enemies routinely point to it as a sign that we are barbarians. Abstract American ideas of freedom, equality, and human rights are crucial in convincing moderates in troubled regions that radical Islam is the path to self-destruction, and Gitmo has been a terrible black eye on our strategic messaging from the beginning.

Iraq (the Mission Accomplished years): I give credit to Bush for implementing the Surge of combat forces in 2007, when it was politically toxic to do so. But, the bumbled post-invasion plans for reconstruction, the lack of adequate gear for our troops initially, and a dangerous hubris that assumed western-style democracy would take foot overnight were catastrophic in war planning. It also didn't help that the war precipitated based on bunk intelligence. Is the world a better place sans Saddam? I would say so. But, the resulting ethnic cleansing, regional instability, and appalling levels of poverty in Iraq could have been mitigated if the war was approached with more practicality and less cowboy swagger.

Hurricane Katrina: Despite the left's best efforts, the Katrina disaster can not be entirely blamed on Bush & Friends. But it was the federal government's inability to help out the victims which made America look more like some sort of third-world backwater rather than a world leader. It's a shame that it had to be such a monumental tragedy before people began to question the competence of our government, but it was a defining moment for the country.

Bailout Bonanza: You would assume that the Republican party would have been the ones to nix such a grotesque abuse of the public treasury. But the "ownership society" pushed by politicians of all stripes, which encouraged Americans to live well beyond their means and pursue a life of eternal debt, has crippled our once proud economy. Bush was the one who demanded the parasites in congress to get in on the great cash giveaway of 2008, which is great for banking elites with friends in Washington, and terrible for regular Americans who have to pay taxes and spend money that is being rapidly devalued as more funny money is dumped into the market. Now, all sorts of plutocrats are meandering their way to the public troff to look for a quick fix of federal cash. Ultimately, borrowing money from the Chinese to prop up unprofitable and ineffectively managed businesses will lead America on the path to irrelevance.

CJ from A Soldier's Perspective has a tribute to George Bush, which I believe is genuine, if you don't agree that Bush was lousy. But, don't forget that Bush's foibles also resulted in America voting for a no-experience demagogue to lead us for what will be a very tough next four years. I'm not looking forward to it. Merry Christmas.

Haloscan Purged

Sorry, I had to kill the haloscan comments due to significant problems many readers were having. I apologize if your comments were deleted.

Brace Yourself For Anti-Military Rhetoric To Support Budget Cuts

U.S. Maritime Power Goes Ghetto

Despite the percentage of GDP being spent on the military at historic lows, and the use of "backdoor drafts" like IRR callups and the IA program to prevent young voters from being outraged at serving in "Bush's Wars", the NYT thinks we need some serious budget cuts in our Defense Department. This parlays nicely into the far-left's lame attempt at conspiracy-mongering by saying that the Pentagon brass are going to instigate some kind of coup when Obama takes charge. Here's what the Grey Lady had to say (h/t Jonn):

Trim the active-duty Navy and Air Force. The United States enjoys total dominance of the world’s seas and skies and will for many years to come. The Army and the Marines have proved too small for the demands of simultaneous ground wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. They are the forces most likely to be called on in future interventions against terrorist groups or to rescue failing states. Reducing the Navy by one carrier group and the Air Force by two air wings would save about $5 billion a year.

I agree that the Army and USMC needs to be increased, but that doesn't necessarily mean gutting the Navy and Air Force (which already had massive cutbacks during the Clinton years). Apparently, the NYT editorial board isn't buying into the deterrence value of the U.S. military. Perhaps they figure Obama's genuine awesomeness will prevent every nation in the world from being overly aggressive (which Russia disproved the day after he got elected). History has not been kind to nations that have a lousy and ill-funded military (think Poland 1939), but those lefty charities that went under due to the Madoff scandal aren't going to pay for themselves. I guess national defense is the first to go in an attempt for the progressive establishment's quest to buy votes by dishing out government entitlements. Makes you really question the priorities in this country.

Next up in the New York Times Editorial hit list will probably be law enforcement, interstates, or some other "unnecessary" government program. I'd like to see the editorial board take on programs rife with corruption and inefficiency that are bankrupting the country like Medicare, Social Security, or this bailout nonsense. But those programs get votes because it means free government money in people's pocket, and in this sorry state of our democracy, the American public only votes for what's in it for them. Maybe we deserve to get conquered and pushed into irrelevance.

A Government Cheese Kind of Christmas

Christmas in Michigan

Sorry for my AWOL status, as I've been hanging out with the fam in Michigan. I understand that due to the auto bailout there may be some animosity towards the Great Lakes state. So, you'll be glad to know that it is cold as fuck here with Antarctica-sized snow drifts, and I'm half-expecting some kind of yeti to come through the door looking for a human snack. And on that note, Subrookie sent an interesting article from some smart professor (ooo, Stanford) about "Global Cooling". From Seattle P-I:

"Global Warming is over, and Global Warming Theory has failed. There is no evidence that CO2 drives world temperatures or any consequent climate change," Imperial College London astrophysicist and long-range forecaster Piers Corbyn wrote British Members of Parliament on Oct. 28. "According to official data in every year since 1998, world temperatures have been colder than that year, yet CO2 has been rising rapidly." That evening, as the House of Commons debated legislation on so-called "global-warming," October snow fell in London for the first time since 1922.

I'm not really a global-warming denier, but when Al Gore's "Inconvenient Truth" is "Very Convenient" for government-subsidized special interest groups and extorting money from big business through carbon taxes, it can arouse suspicion. The politicization of global warming alarmism is nauseating, and the fact that the entire country is freezing its collective ass off just gives more reasons to get frustrated with global warming advocates who are high on rhetoric and low on science.

Schlocky Christmas Videos

Since someone requested the classic supergroup Band Aid video, here it is:

Well no one requested it, but I needed an excuse to post this deliciously cheesy vid.

As Michigan Goes Down, So Does the Rest of the Country

Detroit Landscapes Coming Soon to a Town Near You

Things aren't looking so hot for my beloved home state. Unemployment is sky high at 9.6%, funds to get people back to work have dried up, and the Lions are having another stinker of a season. Since the auto industry and the well-being of Michiganders are inextricably linked (even at the spiritual level), Gov. Granholm (D-MI) is making the rounds in the media circuit to plea for help from the feds in the form of an auto bailout. From Politico:

States, in particular, cannot afford inaction at the federal level, as we are already being forced by tight budgets to make wrenching decisions: either cut the very services that people need most in tough times – health care, job training, new job creation and education – or ask citizens to pay more to provide those services when people need them. Either option would freeze any hope of an American economic recovery.

The Michigan state budget was teetering on bankruptcy just last year, and they had to enact some 11th-hour legislation to slap the citizenry with more service taxes on everything from psychic palm-reading to ski lifts. Obviously, Granholm has been a poor steward of fiscal responsibility if she is forced to ask the federal government for cash, and she is pushing "universal health care" to relieve the Big Three of the UAW pensions that are crippling them. But, just like expensive health benefits have caused the manufacturing industry to be uncompetitive, taking it to a federal level will make all of America uncompetitive in our downhill slide to irrelevance.

The funny money being cranked out in the bailout is causing the dollar to become as useless as toilet paper, and the federal deficit is projected to be over a Trillion dollars (that's like two Iraqs!). So as much gratitude as I have for the auto industry and the state of Michigan, I just can't stomach the rest of the country going down like that. And that's why I've been against the bailout bonanza.

Snowpocalypse 08!

Heads Up!

Most people think the Seattle area would be one of those wintery places where people play hockey and ice-fish in long johns since it's way the hell north, but snowfall is rare here (unless you're up in the mountains). Therefore, snow removal equipment is few and far between, and they hardly use any salt because it's bad for mother earth or some bullshit. That's why this mornings commute was a wretched affair as I counted about 6 abandoned cars in the ditch, 2 semi-trucks that couldn't make it up a hill, and only one crummy snow plow.

Well we're probably doing better than Vegas.

Why did Al Gore have to open his big, fat mouth about climate change at the U.N. last week? Assuming that mother nature is an angry broad out to torture us humans, the Gore Effect makes perfectly good sense and we should expect more of the same.

Don't Bogart That Joint, Obama!

Puff Puff, Give!

Sir Smoke-a-Lot pic From the Obama College Years (h/t Gateway Pundit)

A Tasty Cake for an Unsavory Family

My mother always told me that "Stupid People Shouldn't Breed" and the Campbells of New Jersey, who named their kid "Adolf Hitler Campbell", sure make a good argument for that maternal wisdom. Now they are throwing a tantrum at Shop-Rite for not making a birthday cake for the little fascist rugrat. From The Guardian:

Heath Campbell, 35, and his wife, Deborah, 25, say they are upset at the decision made by their local ShopRite not to write "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler" across the cake, and that people needed to move forward.

Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because "no one else in the world would have that name".

"They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what [Hitler] did," he said.

Listen, ass, no business is required to offend 99.99% of their customer base by putting Nazi bullshit on a kids birthday cake. Also, their reference to Obama (quoted in The Boston Herald) and that this is an era of "change" was completely bizarre to say the least. To shut these rubes up, I tried to find a Hitler birthday cake, but was unsuccessful. Luckily, I found a Stalin cake with some fruity looking flowers:

Stalin and Hitler are pretty similar: both tyrants masquerading behind a cult of personality, both ethnically purged millions of people, both were propaganda masters. In these tough economic times, you're thankful for whatever you can get.

Holder in Hot Water

Attorney General nominee Eric Holder isn't just taking flak for the Elian Gonzalez fiasco (pictured above), apparently he was in cahoots with America's most hated governor back in 2004. Check it out.

Fairness Doctrine To Be Resurrected By Congresswoman From Palo Alto

Congresswoman Eshoo (D-Palo Alto) in Strange Victorian-era Garb

A few weeks back, I wrote about the Trojan Horse politics that the progressive majority was going to slip in amidst a sea of smiley faces and unicorns. One of the issues is the Fairness Doctrine, which is a way for politicians and bureaucrats to silence "uncooperative" conservative media outlets under the guise of limited airspace. George Will wrote an article on Dec. 7th about how reactionary liberals were going to try and push it through, and Yglesias and Wonkette called him a crazy old crank. Even Keith Olbermann said that no one on the left was trying to bring the Fairness Doctrine back (and he's a pretty big mouthpiece for the Left).

But Gateway Pundit dredges up a statement from Congresswoman Eshoo, who reigns over the latte-sipping yuppieville of Palo Alto, CA, and she even wants it applied to not just radio, but TV, cable, and satellite services as well. From SF Peninsula Press Club:

Eshoo said she would recommend the doctrine be applied not only to radio and TV broadcasts, but also to cable and satellite services.

“It should and will affect everyone,” she said.

She called the present system “unfair,” and said "there should be equal time for the spoken word."

People in power tend to abuse that authority, and there's no reason to think that the new majority of elected liberals in Obama's America won't try and drown out political speech they deem hostile. Stop being chumps and thinking that all the empty rhetoric about "tolerance" and "fairness" somehow applies to you.

Real Life Monorail Breaks...Again!

Like the famed Simpsons episode, the Seattle monorail is a major P.O.S. Not only does the line only have two stops (which you can walk between in ~20 minutes), but riding this taxpayer funded abomination can get you stranded out in the cold. Seattle PI reports:

The red Seattle Center Monorail train was stuck on a track Tuesday, a day after about 15 people had to be rescued from the same train because of an emergency brake malfunction.

The link has a decent rundown of Monorail mishaps in recent years (there are many).

Seattle is the birthplace of grunge, the bad weather keeps the geezers away, and nerdy Microsoft billionaires spend billions on urban development to distract the masses. There is no reason that Seattle can't be the bestest city on the planet, but it badly needs a decent mass transit system to compete. There is light rail in the works, but it has been stalled due to NIMBY types, and the mayor seems more interested in denying citizens their second amendment rights.

Case Closed on Walsh Murder: Otis Toole Did It

Portrait of Psychotics: Henry Lee Lucas and Otis Toole

Florida police have announced that the case of the Adam Walsh murder (abducted and decapitated in 1981) has been solved. The boy's father, host of America's Most Wanted John Walsh, had suspected that it was Otis Toole all along. The Henry Lee Lucas/Otis Toole duo are some of the most notorious serial killers in American history, and they claimed to have killed hundreds of people in a cross-country spree that lasted from the late 70s into the early 80s. A little bit about the now-deceased gentlemen [Mayhem]. First, Henry:

As a teenager he enjoyed sex with his half-brother and dead animals. The future serial confessor said he first killed and raped a girl at the age of 15. When he was 17, Henry sliced open his eye while playing with a knife with his brother. His left his gashed orb unattended for days until it eventually withered and had to be removed by a doctor and replaced with prosthetic glass. Once he was beat so severely with a piece of wood that he lay in a semi-conscious state for three days before one of Violet's boyfriend decided to take him to a local hospital. All this explaining why Lucas spent most of his youth in and out of correctional institutes until January 11, 1960, when, in a drunken binge, Henry stuck a knife in his mother's back and proceeded to rape her dead corpse. Later, like on many other occasions, he recanted his act of inscestuous necrophilia.

As for Otis:

According to his confession Lucas claimed he and Toole would pick up most of his victims along the interstates: "Just about everyone I pick up, I kill 'em. That's the way it always turn out." Toole, who at the time was incarcerated in Florida on an arson murder, confirmed many of the claims, adding his own details. According to Ottis they picked many more hitchhikers when he wore a dress. Not surprisingly the confession became morbidly bizarre with episodes of necrophilia, dismemberment, and cannibalism on account of Toole's taste for human flesh.

It wasn't that long ago in America when serial killers like the Son of Sam and The Night Stalker were able to terrorize entire metropolitans, and child-murderers like John Wayne Gacy and Jeffrey Dahmer were able to get away with their bloodlust for years. The decline of these crimes is a testament to the improvement of America's law enforcement tactics and capabilities, because there is certainly no shortage of crazies out there.

Money Bomb Hits America!

Helicopter Ben Spotted Dumping Cash Over NYC

9 months ago, the Guardian predicted that Fed Chairman, Ben Bernanke, would lower interest rates to darn near zero and start cranking out more funny money to inject into the market. They were right, but I bet the amount they predicted wasn't in the freakin' Trillions range [NYT]:

Going further than analysts anticipated, the central bank cut its target for the overnight federal funds rate to a range of 0 to 0.25 percent, a record low, virtually bringing the United States to the zero-rate policies that Japan used for six years in its own fight against deflation. The rate had previously been 1 percent, and a cut of a half-point had been widely expected.

And:

All of the new tools amount to printing money in vast new quantities, and the Fed has already started the process. Since September, the Fed’s balance sheet has ballooned from about $900 billion to more than $2 trillion as the central bank has created new money and lent it out through all its new programs. As soon as the Fed completes its plans to buy up mortgage-backed debt and consumer debt, the balance sheet will be up to about $3 trillion.

Is this going to work or are we going to have $500 Million notes like Zimbabwe to buy Pez dispenser refills? The press is putting some suit through the wringer for running a $50B Ponzi scheme, but nothing about a federal government that is ruining our economy faster than the fat guy taking a dump at a housewarming party. Maybe all the media companies are waiting for a slice of the bailout pie, so they're keeping their yaps shut.

Blag Still Gets to Name Obama's Senate Seat

Zombie Capone Said to Be In The Running For the Senate

Despite some very serious evidence against Hot Rod and his corrupt ways, the Illinois state legislature failed to strip his powers to name Obama's successor in the Senate. Sure, he might still get impeached before being hauled off to federal prison, but proceedings to boot the guy with the "fucking valuable thing" might take forever. From Bloomberg:

Blagojevich, 52, has resisted demands he resign since his Dec. 9 arrest by the FBI and accusations he tried to auction Obama’s seat for personal gain and intimidate the Chicago Tribune newspaper into firing editorial writers. Republicans said Democrats, who hold a 67-51 majority in the chamber, seek to avoid a loss of the seat to the GOP in a special election.

“Shame on you,” Representative William Black, deputy leader of Republicans in the House, shouted during a debate in the state capitol building in Springfield. “We had an opportunity to limit the power of this governor and you refused.”

Democrats in the House met yesterday and aired “differences of opinion on the best way to proceed” with a special election for Obama’s seat, Brown said. The differences could not be overcome so a vote on taking the decision away from Blagojevich was “deferred for now,” he said.

Is Illinois politics such a cesspool that people would cling to party loyalties rather than do the right thing amidst tremendous public and media pressure? Makes you wonder about Obama's new pick for Education Secretary. And you thought DC was a swamp.

Tough Times in Afghanistan Call for...Rowdy Roddy Piper

The Talking Point du jour seems to be that we need to "negotiate" with the Taliban to supervise a "peaceful" exit. This goes beyond the stabilization operations of talking with the little "t" Taliban that Gen. McKiernan emphasizes, and has more to do with freeing up more revenue to fund domestic social programs (those votes aren't bought for cheap). But, Sarah Chayes, who runs a co-op out in Kandahar, notes that this would be a lousy idea. She's been there for 7 years, so I'm guessing she knows more about the situation than the rest of us. A snippet from yesterday's WaPo:

We and our friends in Kandahar are thunderstruck at recent suggestions that the solution to the hair-raising situation in this country must include a political settlement with "relevant parties" -- read, the Taliban. Negotiating with them wouldn't solve Afghanistan's problems; it would only exacerbate them. Ask any Afghan what's really needed, what would render the Taliban irrelevant, and they'll tell you: improving the behavior of the officials whom the United States and its allies ushered into power after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

For some further insight into Afghanistan, I recommend Troy's blog and Old Blue's blog (both have combat experience in that forgotten part of the world). For everyone who wants to just give up and see Afghanistan become another failed state, I can only offer you this classic line from They Live:

Anyone got a master plan?

America Supports You Troop Charity Receives Shellacking From Pentagon Report

Danger Room warned us on Friday that a report criticizing lucrative contracts made between the government-funded America Supports You and the PR firm Susan Davis International would be nasty...and it sure was. Bloomberg has the details from the DoD Inspector General audit and it's damning stuff. Full text of the audit shows celebrities charging "convenience fees" for playing troop benefit concerts, inappropriate use of corporate branding for the non-profit, and the payment of 6-figure salaries to PR execs in Susan Davis International.

There's money to be made in selling off patriotism, and it looks like some greedy bastards in DC took the bait. Did you ever think that bureacrats in Washington would be so easily misguided by the almighty dollar? I am shocked!

Great, Code Pink To Honor Angry Shoe-Tosser Guy

Mahdi Army or Code Pink protest...what's the difference

It's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between Sadrists, Ba'athists, and hippies in our own country. Code Pink is holding a pow-wow in L.A. where they encourage unemployed layabouts to bring their shoes in solidarity with the left's favorite new icon: that Saddam-apologist putz who throw his shoes at Bush. From their email distro:

Join us! Wednesday, December 17th, 5:00--6:30 PM, More Shoes for Bush!

Join us at the Federal Building at the southwest corner of Wilshire Blvd. and Veteran Ave., in solidarity with the Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at George W. Bush at a Baghdad press conference on Sunday. Peace activists will gather outside the Federal Building with shoes representing Iraqis and U.S. soldiers who have died since the Bush Administration's illegal invasion of Iraq.

We aim to show support for Iraqi journalist Muntader al-Zaidi, who hurled his shoes at President Bush while he spoke at the conference during his "surprise" visit to discuss the war.

As you can see on Google maps, the Federal Building is one of the busiest intersections in Los Angeles, thereby putting it high in the running for busiest in the nation. Code Pink didn't have the decency to hold this display of idiocy on the weekend, so commuters will have to watch out for flying Birkenstocks as they exit off the 405. What a great country we live in.

The Day The Earth Stood Completely Unimpressed with Hollywood

This GORT Thing Could Stop Humanity But Couldn't Refund my 9 bucks

Since our beginning, mankind has looked up to the heavens in the hopes of a more intelligent race passing on the secrets of the cosmos. But, watching alien Keanu bumble through his lines would probablyy result in sending these interstellar lifeforms back to where they came from. The movie's premise is that the earth must be saved from the humans, because if there's anything Hollywood doesn't like it's average schmoes (who ironically pay for their lifestyles). Keanu is the representative of these blood thirsty aliens hell-bent on our extinction, and he plunks his oversized, spherical shaped blob of attitude right onto our beloved Central Park in NYC. The "warmongering" humans arrive with a show of force to ask this yahoo from outer space a few questions, and all of a sudden we're the assholes! In an obvious slam against techniques used by the Bush Administration, the acting Prez (Kathy Bates) wants to sequester alien Keanu for "further interrogation". Obviously the message here is that a cabal of Lynndie England, Halliburton, and Sarah Palin's hunting buddies are solely responsible for the complete downfall of the human race. Keanu then trots around with Jennifer Connelly for awhile, in which she explains that "we can change", which is supposed to be plug for Obama (uh, I guess). Then, Keanu uses his throwback robot to 50s schlock, GORT, to make it so all electronic devices on earth collapse, so humans can redeem themselves in an orgy of PETA fundraisers and sailing off into the sunset on Al Gore's carbon-neutral boat. The End.

If Hollywood is trying to push Global Warming awareness, in what Kurt Loder remarks as "An intergalactic Al Gore, great", they probably should have picked a different month than when America usually gets ravaged by ice storms. The concept of eradicating all technology so we can "start over" doesn't take into account the inevitable cannibalism, war and famine that usually accompanies such a sudden loss of resources. Perhaps they'll leave that for the sequel!

Hollywood has tackled social issues with the apocalypse-themed movie in the past, and they have certainly withstood the test of time. Classics like They Live showed the devastation of Reganomics, Dawn of the Dead highlighted the stupidity of society due to obsessive consumerism, and Children of Men took on the rampant decay of civil society. But the Day the Earth Stood Still is so heavy on self-righteousness, that it feels little details like plot and character development are unecessary for this spaceman opus. And I even admit to being a shameless Keanu apologist, because I view his characters as some permutation of Ted from Wyld Stallyns. In Parenthood there was Boyfriend Ted, in Matrix there was Hacker Ted, and in Point Break there was Surfer Cop Ted. But, unlike the alien E.T. who pedaled his way into our hearts back in '82, Alien Ted only makes you look at your watch and wonder why you continune to waste your life in movie theaters.

On a positive note, Will Smith's son (Jaden Smith) had a good role as the lone voice who dared to ask of the alien invader "Why don't we just kill this guy?" The only sane voice in a movie full of actors thinking they're Mother Teresa incarnates for making us movie-going rubes aware of the problems the Earth faces. I hope that kid goes far in Hollywood and makes movies for the sake of...(wait for it)...people enjoying the movie.

The Problem That Wasn't There: Neo-Nazis in the Military

Sherlock Holmes Blogger Turns Up Jack and Shit

Today's moran is David Neiwart of Crooks and Liars, who has a detailed post about how many returning veterans are going to morph into modern-day Timothy McVeighs to wreak havoc on America. Not sure where to begin on how the military is a non-racist institution, since it's been integrated for a very long time (courtesy of Prez Truman). Honestly, we don't even think about it anymore. I've met a lot of different people during my time in service and I've met some pretty strange dudes, but none of them have been neo-nazis.

Being accused of just "not liking brown people" is a very serious offense by DoD policy, and can get you suitcase-tossed out (as the clowns at Stormfront whine about). And, in true military fashion, there's an entire acronymn'd program (EEO) dedicated to investigating racist complaints. They check for gang tattoos while in-processing into the military, and I have some not-so-fond memories of standing around in a room with a bunch of dudes in their undies, while a cadre of MEPS personnel checked us head to toe.

As for Timothy McVeigh, his beef was over Waco, which most youngsters probably think is an Xbox 360 game. And strained race-relations the LA riots wrought in the early 90s...most youngsters probably don't remember those either. But, Mr. Neiwart laments it could all come home to roost during an Obama administration:

In our current situation, these veterans not only will have served with neo-Nazis amid their ranks, they will likely be faced with unemployment and a wrecked economy, eager for someone to blame and fully trained and capable of violent action.

I suspect this has to do more with the Alinksy-stlye tactic for liberals to demonize their conservative opposition and has little to do with what's really going on, as he has a theme of calling people he doesn't like racists. Sucks the military had to get caught up in this punditry. I'm sure he'll apply the same rigor in finding out who torched Sarah Palin's church! And if he can call all politically-minded soldiers he doesn't agree with "Timothy McVeigh", I get to call all long hair liberals "Charles Manson". It's only fair.

Shoe Tossing Journalist in Iraq From a Ba'athist Rag in Cairo

Dodging incoming is an acquired skill picked up on fortified bases in Iraq for the sake of self-preservation, but you usually don't expect to get hit with a flying shoe. An angry Iraqi journalist hurled a pair of loafers at our President today during a press conference in Baghdad. Al-Jazeera notes that anything foot-related is a deep insult in Arabic culture, as noted when Saddam's statue got a savage shoe beating in 2003. Some people in our country, who might want to chuck a shoe or two at Bush, were elated at the news. But, the journalist was from the Ba'athist-sympathizing Al-Baghdadiya, and is probably not a good representation of "all Iraqis".

Al-Baghdadiya TV is broadcast from Cairo and has a notable pro-Ba'athist and pro-Saddam bias, as it has interviewed members of the defunt Republican Guard and spoken favorably of Saddam's defense team. Madtom even has a link to self-proclaimed member of the "Iraqi Resistance" who claims the gentleman throw his shoes with "great dexterity". With the Ba'athists having their leaders captured, hanged, or living in exile, I suppose a shoe or two is the best uprising they could muster. Weak.

Weekend Babe

In honor of the late, great Bettie Page, here's a modern day vixen to get you going for the weekend.I'm seeing the Day the Earth Stood Still (with Keanu!) this evening and I'll have something about it in the near future. Kurt Loder already weighed in and it might be a huge turd. We'll see. Have a nice chilly weekend everybody.

Important Question Time: Is Santa Claus a Commie or a Heartless Capitalist?

A bloke from Australia suggests that Jolly Old St. Nick is really a communist trojan horse unleashed on the masses, and that he should be stopped by any means necessary. From The Australian (by way of Wonkette):

Soon Father Christmas will rise from his underground base in the Arctic like a missile rising from its silo – to launch his attack on every western city. He’ll fly under the radar. No jets will take off to shoot the commie bastard down. No Star Wars barrier will activate. Nothing to stop him dropping a nuke down the White House chimney. Don’t let your kiddies near him. Blast him out of the skies.

But it would be rise to call upon the yuletide wisdom of The Vandals Christmas album where they parody the famous socialist-punkers, Crass. From "I Don't Believe in Santa Claus":

I don't believe in Santa Clause-
his corporate image forced upon
the blinded spending masses,
to enslave the lower classes

with obligatory gifts that serve to cleanse
a year of guilt and shame.
One token gesture justifies
the apathetic, hypnotized.

Leaving them to be Kris Kringle's slaves.
Buy! Buy! I won't do it.
The seasons obligation has not my participation.
Buy! Buy! I won't do it.
The money hungry mating call of corporate swine.

I'm going with The Vandals, but what do you think? Is our beloved bearded fatso a comrade or a stooge? Or you could just go with the Westboro Baptist Church interpretation and say we're on a sleigh ride to eternal damnation.

Git Yer Pitchforks Ready: America Supports You Might Be a Front

America Supports You is a government-funded organization, begun in 2004, that provides charity to our troops during a time of war. It includes Christmas cards to the troops, homefront support, and other morale boosters. It came under fire from the New York Times and the Pentagon launched an investigation since its chair, Allison Barber, may have been funneling cash to private enterprises. She abruptly resigned and the Pentagon investigation is about to be released. You could strike up the criticism of the organization to your run-of-the-mill Greenwaldesque anti-military blabber, but Noah Shachtman of the superb military journal, Wired's Danger Room, is saying that investigation results are going to be ugly:

While the Pentagon preps for a new administration, a scandal from an earlier era may be about to rear its head. The Defense Department's Inspector General has been looking into whether a project, supposedly designed to support U.S. troops, was used to channel money to reward personal friends and allies of its chiefs. Pentagon and Congressional sources say that the results of those investigations are due to be released early next week. And they are not expected to be kind.

There is nothing in our current political climate that is impervious to corruption. From Senate seats to troop charities, everything is up for grabs from these no-ethics assclowns. What's next?!? Tomorrow, we'll probably hear a scandal about the DC mayor getting paid off to allow a Bukake porn flick to be filmed at the Lincoln Memorial. What a rotten system.

Nail in the Coffin for Zawahiri

COMOPS Journal has a well-written article about why Zawahiri (Al-Qaeda #2) is failing at strategic communications. It's much more detailed than the usual "Zawahiri iz a r-tard" agitprop you'd get at blogs like mine. Check it out!

India Out For Blood

In the wake of the grisly terror attacks that shut down the massive city Mumbai, India's parliament is crossing the political divide to more aggressively to combat extremism. From the Times of India:

Parliament unanimously adopted a resolution promising to all it could to combat terrorism and expressing condolence for the dead and solidarity with survivors, both Houses also named terrorist elements from Pakistan and said that despite being a banned organisation, the Lashkar-e-Taiba was operating from that country. The resolution said attacks on Mumbai were linked to other hostile acts emanating from Pakistan like the suicide bombing of the Indian embassy in Kabul.

More at The Moderate Voice that suggests previous U.S. aid to Pakistan under Musharraf might have soured relations. I don't think the U.S. is to blame for every atrocity worldwide, but we would be wise to tread carefully when conducting diplomacy in Central Asia. Will Hillary blow it?

Reason's Shihka Dalmia advocates for looser gun laws in India so that the average citizens can put the kaibash on these grave atrocities. From The Wall Street Journal:

They should also demand reform of the country's draconian gun laws -- a holdover from British times -- that prevent them from defending themselves. That would surely deliver far quicker results than waiting for India's slow-moving political classes to plug the vast lacunae in the country's security apparatus.

9/11 put the skids on the gun-control wanks in our country for a short time, and one only needs to look to Israel (where people are packing heat all the time) to suggest that a well-armed citizenry has some deterrent effect to extremism.

Gates Tells Troops in Afghanistan That "Duty" Kept Him on the Job

Greyhawk was right, the pundits were wrong. From Armed Forces Press Release:

Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates told several hundred troops here today that a sense of duty caused him to agree to stay on in his current job through the administration change.

Gates opened the session at the headquarters for the southern regional command by joking about his recent re-appointment as defense secretary -- which at one time he was looking to avoid.

“I now have a better appreciation of what it’s like to be stop-lossed,” he joked, referring to a program that allows the Army to retain soldiers in critical specialties beyond expiration of their enlistment.

Gates said the crucial junctures of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and upcoming critical budget decisions at the Pentagon are among the reasons he chose to stay on the job. But, he said, the singular reason came down to a sense of duty.

If hundreds of thousands of young Americans are doing their duty without fail, Gates said, he had no choice but to do otherwise.

“Each of you could have done something easier, safer and probably better paid. But you chose to step forward to wear this country’s uniform,” Gates said. “You chose to volunteer -- in some cases re-volunteer -- knowing full well that a deployment to a combat theater was the most likely result.”

That's something that lifelong political operatives wouldn't understand. Clowns like Rahm Emmanuel can't even field a few tough questions from the media without whining. I'm glad we at least have some decent people in charge of the nut house in hard times like these.

Finger on the Button in 5 Weeks

Remember way back in the day during the 2008 election and McCain uttered "Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran" and everybody flipped out. Well, Obama has literally promised that he's going to nuke Iran (at least if they attack Israel). Five weeks and he's in charge...come join the end of civilization at The Obacalypse!

New Milblogs To Conquer the Internet

You've probably noticed that even though I'm a Navy dude, this blog isn't strictly about maritime affairs. As a matter of fact, it probably reads like a drunken 17-year old's MySpace page, but it's the only format I know. But fear not! The new blog at the US Naval Institute is like a who's who of the heavies, including Chap, CDR Salamander, Eagle1, Galrahn, and even the Coast Guard Commandant. The only person I didn't see was Yankee Sailor, but he's an XO now so he's probably too damn busy or something.

Check it out...right here!

Also, David M found a new one called Sorority Soldier. It's like Legally Blonde in Baghdad, I dig it.

She takes on the tough issue of sexual assault of women in the military and lightens things up with tales from her training. Good stuff!

Environmentalist Weirdo Wonders What Would Happen If All Humans Croaked

6 Billion Instaneous Deaths: The Solution to Global Warming

I'd like to say that most of us consider ourselves conversationists in that we seek more efficient methods to expend the finite resources on planet earth, but some environmentalists go too damn far. Some want us living primitive lifestyles so that Gaia is happy. But the book "World Without Us" delves further into self-hating insanity by pondering how great the earth would be if all humans were exterminated. Predictably, it's won some praise from the LA Times:

"The World Without You" (sic) gives us a glimpse of both the fragility and resilience of life on Earth -- a nature that humans have proved quite adept at destroying, but also a nature that will long outlast the human species. In the end, the book paints a history and future of the Earth that's not so human-centric, and correspondingly, encourages a more humble perspective of our role on this planet. What you end up doing with that perspective is entirely up to you.

Mankind has created art, understood science, and provided the means to download pornography at warp speeds, so don't give up on the entire race just yet! If it wasn't for us, all this rock would be is boring sphere of mass with smelly creature inhabitants on the corner of the universe. Let's give some credit where it's due.

Outlook Bleak For Defense Spending on Personnel

The influential left-of-center brain matter tank, Center for American Progress, has released a comprehensive report of prioritization for defense spending. COIN guru, Abu Muqawama, has praised the report citing its focus on prioritizing irregular warfare, while focusing on cuts for conventional-style spending (e.g. no mo' F-22s). Of course, the pdf has some obvious political bias thrown in there [pg 13 of PDF]:

The reduction in causalities from the Iraq war, the election of Barack Obama, who has pledged to withdraw troops from Iraq, as well as rising unemployment among today’s youth are key reasons enlistment is becoming more appealing to youth.

I didn't know the nation's elite were lining up at the recruiter's door on Nov. 5th, but whatever. The report is actually pretty decent, since it gets into specifics of what and how much certain acquisitions should be cut, based on the current state of international affairs. Considering you'd expect progressive think tanks to be dredging up hippie slogans about "Make Love, Not Bombs" and putting the brass on trial for war crimes, it's pretty sharp. There's also a fun little interactive feature where you can "design your own defense budget", in which I ran in the $2 Trillion range ala Dr. Evil. Guess I'm not going to be SECDEF anytime soon.

But, despite the sleek PDF, the cuts in defense to balance out the bailout bombs we're throwing at unprofitable corporations are most likely going to come from personnel costs in the DoD. Too many Senators and Congressmen have their grubby mitts in the defense contractor pie, and the only people that you can piss off without affecting the inevitable next election is one of the smallest voting blocs: citizens in uniform. Back in May, I argued that military people were gonna be screwed whoever the next President was due to a rising deficit and competition for government resources, and you people were about to ship me off to the funny farm for being crazy. But, Madman Murtha (D-Pa.), Chairman of the House Defense Appropriations Subcommittee, is already got his ideas on "trimming the fat" during these lean times. From Gov Exec (h/t TSO):

Murtha said the Army and Marine Corps spent about $2 billion on enlistment and re-enlistment bonuses since 2007 -- incentives lawmakers and service officials deemed necessary to help meet recruiting and retention goals. But Murtha said bonuses were one area that could produce savings as forces are drawn down in Iraq. "If we draw down, we ought to be able to get rid of the bonuses," he said.

Who needs to retain quality soldiers when you have multi-billion dollar gizmos to play with, right? We've already tried the Rumsfeld model of diminishing the size of the military but spending oodles on gadgets and DC-area bureaucracy...which failed in Iraq. Why is Murtha going down the same path? Fellow troublemaker, Jonn Lilyea, has more analysis of this flamboyant mentality.

The "Support the Troops" line isn't going to work anymore to ensure that veterans and military personnel get adequate VA care and pay. New and improved methods of outreach and political maneuvering will be required. Start sharpening your machetes, it's gonna be an ugly fight.

Laser Backgrounds Making a Comeback

If the Presidential Portrait can have a laser background, so should your next family photo! Show some patriotism, people.

U.N. Peacekeepers Dispatched to Illinois

International Troops Arrive in Springfield, Il

Someone call the United Nations, Hot Rod's not ceding power! Even though "Governor for Life" Blagojevich has some damning Watergate-like evidence against him, in true dictator fashion, he is not giving up his throne. From AP:

His career in shreds, Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich clung defiantly to power Wednesday, ignoring a call to step down from President-elect Barack Obama and a warning that Senate Democrats will not let him appoint a new senator from the state.

A look at the official website of the Governor indicates it's still business as usual for the corruptocrat, as his headline bullet is how he promoted the "Keep Kids Warm and Safe Campaign" this winter. This blogging (er, blagging) writes itself.

A Cake for Hot Rod Blagojevich's B-day!

For Busting Out of the Joint!

Am I the only one that thinks Rod looks like Jake Fratelli from The Goonies? I hope his inevitable prison break with Ma Fratelli's assistance is just as eventful as the movie. Some people are probably sad that angry conservatards are making a big fuss about this, but the truth is that every American loves a good scandal. This one just needs some dead hookers or restroom foot tapping to spice it up a little. It seems the Obama connection is unearthing some stones as well...

Detroit: We Usta-be Cool

Days Gone By...

The Big Three were once the pride of the modern world as they produced great feats of engineering for the common man (and even paid their workers a decent wage in the process). But now they have been reduced to groveling at the feet of the federal government (probably the most inefficient organization in recent memory) for taxpayer money to continue their model...until at least late March, when the money will dry up. From WaPo:

The agreement would grant General Motors, Chrysler and Ford less than half the $38 billion they had been seeking to help them survive the sharpest drop in car sales in 25 years. The money is intended to keep GM and Chrysler afloat through the end of March. Ford has said it does not expect to need federal aid immediately.

House Republicans are trying to block the bailout vote, but they green-lit the $700B bank bailout turd a couple months ago when it got loaded up with porky goodies. So, don't expect "free-market principles" to be championed at the last minute here.

Since the government is now in the business of dishing out cash to unprofitable enterprises, a consortium of Mayors is asking where there bailout is at. From Reason:

On Monday, the U.S. Conference of Mayors went to Capitol Hill to ask for a handout, or as they put it: "We are reporting that in 427 cities of all sizes in all regions of the country, a total of 11,391 infrastructure projects are 'ready to go.' These projects represent an infrastructure investment of $73,163,299,303 that would be capable of producing an estimated 847,641 jobs in 2009 and 2010."

A wish list that is 11,391 projects strong! What vital infrastructure projects would cash-strapped taxpayers get for their $73 billion? Here's a sampling:

- Hercules, Calif., wants $2.5 million in hard-earned taxpayer money for a "Waterfront Duck Pond Park," and another $200,000 for a dog park.

- Euless, Texas, wants $15 million for the Midway Park Family Life Center, which, you'll be glad to note, includes both a senior center and aquatic facility.

- Natchez, Miss., "needs" a new $9.5 million sports complex "which would allow our city to host major regional and national sports tournaments."

What a great time to be a taxpayer!

Zombie Babes to Make 2009 Worthwhile

From My Zombie Pin Up

Hot chick zombies feasting on a helping brains! Is there anything better in this world? This would be a way more appealing stocking stuffer than the Barry Manilow 80s CD idea I had two weeks ago.

Slog has 9 more excellent 2009 calenders (warning: naked clown alert on #3).

Bureaucracy in a Time of War

Can We Save Our Military From Ourselves

One of the most infuriating paradoxes for our troops during our modern conflicts has been that, despite the United States being the most well-funded fighting force in the history of civilization, soldiers were forced to utilize makeshift "hillbilly armor" to help prevent attacks from a disorganized insurgency using Saddam's left-over junk. Rumsfeld famously quipped that "You have to to war with the Army you have" in response to these "out-of-line" soldiers while he advocated for billions of taxpayer loot towards the troubled Future Combat Systems. Sure, it's easy to blame the guy who eventually got fired 2 years ago, but a look at the slow acquisition of the MRAP (which is great at stopping IEDs) shows another culprit contributing to the military being under-resourced: bureaucracy. From McClatchy:

The IG's report says that the military knew years before the war that mines and homemade bombs, which the military calls "improvised explosive devices," would be a "threat . . . in low-intensity conflicts" and that "mine-resistant vehicles" were available.

"Yet the military did not develop requirements for, fund or acquire" safer vehicles, the report says. The military invaded Iraq in 2003 "without having taken available steps to acquire technology to mitigate the known mine and IED risk to soldiers and Marines."

Even after the war was under way, as the devices began taking a deadly toll and field commanders pressed for vehicles that were better protected from roadside bombs, the Pentagon was slow to act, the report says.

"Slow to act" is an understatement as it languished in the DC bureaucracy for two years. The problem with the monstrosity of these alphabet soup organizations is there is no accountability and no one gets blamed if something is fucked up. People have their guaranteed job security, politicians can advocate for military contracts from their home states, and all is well in the world (with the exception of the troops dying on the battlefield).

Lucky for us, SECDEF Gates has signaled that he is looking to shake things up to fix this beast. From LA Times:

The acquisition system at the Pentagon, particularly within the Air Force and Navy, has been mired in controversy. Ships have been delayed because of construction defects and other problems.

The Air Force has been embroiled in controversy and delays over several weapons competitions, including over its aerial tanker.

Morrell said Gates was not trying to remake the entire purchasing system.

"He wants to get acquisition and procurement back on track," Morrell said. "He is not looking to build a new railway, but he is determined to put them back on the rails."

The "buck stops here" approach is a refreshing attitude from the powers that be in Washington...too bad Gates is the exception.

OlGreyDog7 Gets Visited By the Stork

Accurate Depiction of the Reproductive Cycle

Longtime commenter, OlGreyDog7, and friend of mine who served with me at the embassy in Iraq, is now father to a bouncing baby boy named "Harlon". Congrats!

Note: Before anyone goes into the gutter and gets the wrong idea that "Hey, weren't you guys in Iraq 9 months ago?", recall that there is a two-week R&R period every deployment.

Celebrate Mass Murderer Chic...This Friday!

The 257-minute tongue bath of "revolutionary" executioner Che Guevarra is scheduled for release on Friday in NYC and LA. It received some criticism at Cannes, because...it didn't do enough to celebrate the awesomeness of Che! "It Diminished His Character". Moonbattery notes that some people are not impressed with this tripe:

But some stubbornly refuse to pay their respects. Thus, the actor received a much cooler reception when Che, directed by Oscar-winner Steven Soderbergh, had a private screening in Miami Beach this past Thursday. Cuban-Americans, including the mayor of Miami Beach, protested the 4-and-a-half hour glorification of the man they consider a Stalinist mass-murderer.

Seriously, communism was deemed a lousy and genocidal method of governance and sent into the dust bin of the 20th century. Why do we still idolize its advocates? Next up, Hollywood will probably celebrate the life and times of the pioneers of Eugenics.

The Cutthroat Tactics of Whole Foods Corporate Hippies

The hackesyacks and Birkenstocks must be violently flying around the combination yoga/board room at Whole Foods headquarters, because they are playing hardball with one of their competitors, New Seasons. The feel-good megastore with crappy and non-delicious soy products, Whole Foods, has been embroiled in an anti-trust investigation by the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) since 2007. Whole Foods channeled the spirit of Jerry Garcia to fight back by suing the FTC on Monday, claiming they didn't have enough time to prepare a defense. Now they are subpoenaing emails and internal correspondence from one of the little guys in Oregon [Oregon Live]:

Whole Foods contends that New Seasons is at the heart of its defense in an antitrust case that, if lost, could cost the ritzy retailer big fines and the loss of the Wild Oats stores it gained across the country.

The subpoena demands two years' worth of New Seasons' weekly sales data, internal e-mails, inventory records, marketing and expansion plans. Whole Foods said it sent nearly identical requests to 93 other retailers and vendors nationwide, including two others in Portland -- the two-store Food Front chain and the lone People's Co-Op.

I've never been to one of these places, since I prefer my food to be chemically enhanced and injected with growth hormones. But, I've heard that it's a great place to meet babes for us PacNorWest people, and I also assume that people shop here and pay extra because of its image as "eco-friendly". It's funny that the powers that be for this crunchy establishment are such dicks. Reminds me of that "business hippie" who overcharges for weed in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

The Road to Federal Prison Is Paved With Good Political Intentions

Sideshow Blag Laughs At the People Who Elected Him

Ah, another day, another high-profile political scandal. Gov. Blagojevich (D-Il.) has been arrested by the FBI and been let out on a measly $4500 bail for a variety of sleazy charges related to his office. This includes trying to sell off Obama's vacated senate seat, withholding financial assistance from the Chicago Tribune, and trying to shake down the CEO of a hospital to pony up campaign dollars in exchange for state health care funding. The details are available in the affidavit with colorful language included (this excerpt is in regards to the Tribune):

Deputy Governor A agreed and said that HARRIS needs to be “sensitive” about how he does it. ROD BLAGOJEVICH said there is nothing sensitive about how you do it and that it’s “straight forward” and you say “we’re doing this stuff for you, we believe this is right for Illinois [and] this is a big deal to[Tribune Owner] financially” but what ROD BLAGOJEVICH is doing to help Tribune Owner is the same type of action that the Tribune is saying should be the basis for ROD BLAGOJEVICH’s impeachment. ROD BLAGOJEVICH said Tribune Owner should be told “maybe we can’t do this now. Fire those fuckers.”

A real swell guy, as you can tell. So why has the media been blowing this guy the last five years? CBS published this article about teh Blagster cracking down on that great scourge of our society, violent video games. And the LA Times just yeaterday wrote about the soon-to-be-imprisoned Governor showing his support to Chicago Factory Workers. Mike at Crook's Shadow writes that this puts the Illinois track record for felonious governors at 4 in just the last 50 years.

There is no reason to believe that politicians are anything but sleazy, corrupt egomaniacs, who make ridiculous campaign promises at the expense of the taxpayers to secure their victories. Yet we continue to elect clowns like Marion Barry and Ted Stevens (almost) as we overlook their conspicuous crimes. Historically low approval ratings of those in public office suggest that we are more than willing to run these people out of town. But, the American citizenry has become so hopelessly dependent upon entitlement programs that we fear any sort of instability within the government. Until then, we'll continue electing people like Blag who make smiley-time appearances with "real Americans" so they can rip us off behind the scenes.

(see The Obacalypse on any possible Obama-Blago connection)

Poor Ollie North

If anyone can offer a better explanation of the Iran Contra scandal than American Dad, I'd like to see it.

The Auto Industry and Those Wacky Michiganders

With the Big Three auto executives begging Congress for the government cheese like paupers in $1500 suits, they're probably about as popular right now as the seal-clubbing industry. Also, the above scene from a Detroit church of worshipping the SUV altar may seem creepy if you aren't religious, and downright blashpemous if you are religious. From the NY Times:

Pentecostal Bishop Charles H. Ellis III, who shared the sanctuary’s wide altar with three gleaming sport utility vehicles, closed his sermon by leading the choir and congregants in a boisterous rendition of the gospel singer Myrna Summers’s “We’re Gonna Make It” as hundreds of worshipers who work in the automotive industry — union assemblers, executives, car salesmen — gathered six deep around the altar to have their foreheads anointed with consecrated oil.

It's really difficult to overstate how important the auto industry is to Michigan. It's not like the Ivory Tower banks of Wall Street, pretty much everyone in southeastern Michigan works in the auto industry or is directly related to someone who is. Growing up in Michigan meant buying American was the ultimate form of patriotism and Japanese cars might as well have had "I heart Hitler" vanity plates. They were frequently keyed during UAW strikes, and you still can't park a foreign car in the lot of many assembly plants. The once great cities of Flint and Detroit starting looking like mini-Mogadishus during the downfall of the auto industry in the 70s.

So, if Paul Krugman is correct in saying that the U.S. auto industry is doomed, then Michigan is going to be in for some even tougher times. People do weird shit when they're faced with economic desperation. The Okies had Tom Joad, and now Detroiters have this Pentecostal preacher.

LT Nixon Gets Ripped Off...Again!

So, I went to put gas in my truck this morning and noticed that my credit card wasn't working. Naturally, I thought it was a liberal conspiracy to fund abortions for Code Pink members or something, but I called the credit card company just to be sure. Turns out someone in Queens, NYC tried to take out two large cash advances with my credit card number and the company blocked the second transaction. The call center gentleman from India was very helpful in getting this sorted out and I'm not going to be charged a dime. Not sure if this has to do with the Koobface virus on Facebook, but somehow they got my info. A co-worker who serves part-time in law enforcement advised not making online purchases in the future, but I dunno how else I could get hard-to-find movies like Vice Versa. I suppose it's a risk worth taking. The same type of thing happened to me last year while I was in Iraq.

So do yourself a favor and check your credit statement before you have to file bankruptcy or go on the lam.

Obama Confirmed Addict

Obama Still a Confirmed Smoker (like Reagan, FDR, and every Prez from the 1800s)

Obama recently admitted during an interview on "Meet the Press" to not having been able to kick his smoking habit. It's pretty understandable that being the dude-in-charge in times like these might be slightly stressful. From the LA Times:

MR. BROKAW: Finally, Mr. President-elect, the White House is a no-smoking zone, and when you were asked about this recently by Barbara Walters, I read it very carefully, you ducked.

Have you stopped smoking?

PRES.-ELECT OBAMA: You know, I have, but what I said was that, you know, there are times where I've fallen off the wagon. Well...

Reason wonders if the President will have to sneak out to the back of the White House to smoke that sweet-tasting nicotine. I'm just hoping that Obama doesn't further tax the bejeezus out of our beloved cancer sticks like the previous Democrat administration. Clinton and Gore went on a tirade against working-class Americans "for the children" by practically putting the tobacco companies under and outlawing cultural icons like Camel Joe. Since state governments are so dependent on cigarette taxes, they're probably not going to be cut anytime soon, but at least we can point to a Jonesing Obama every time some government wag wants to extort more cash. Now that's Hope and Change we can believe in!

Getting Our Ass Kicked By Asia in the Robot Wars

Cyberdyne Now Owned by the Chinese

America once held promise that we would lead the way in Human-Robot relations for the new millennium. From Isaac Asimov's fundamental laws to that housekeeping chick in Small Wonder, and culminating with under-sexed nerds engaging in robot-on-robot Battlebot action earlier this decade. Unfortunately for those who dream of an automated society in America, the engineering genius in creating miniature robots to saw each other in half has been replaced with terrible reality TV shows about Mom's facelift.

But, we only need to look across the Pacific to see the future of the robo-lution taking shape. Japan has designed robot girlfriends, soccer-playing robots have seized our hearts, and now Mr. Yulu, a Chinese Farmer, has completed his 26-strong robotic army. From Weird Asia News:

Wu’s home is near Beijing and he has plunged his family into debt by spending up to two-thirds of his monthly income on his robot creations. He has been forced to sell some of them to pay bills.

Wu considers all the robots as his sons, and has names for them according to the order in which they were invented, ranging from Wu No.1 to Wu No.26.

“They are all my sons, so they must bear my surname” said Wu.

I for one welcome Wu's "sons" and all the rest of their robo-overlord comrades. No doubt we will be conquered by these concoctions while we Americans bicker about the auto bailout like a bunch of clowns. But who needs science and math to make sure our children are able to design future superior androids, when they could be learning about how awful Thanksgiving is.

Metallica Video Hits Hard on Cost of War

There's always a lot to be upset about if you're a Metallica fan. Cutting their hair short, the band's misguided war against MP3s and Napster, and of course that abominable turd of an album St. Anger. So naturally, I was fairly cynical about their new single "Day That Never Comes" when it started getting radio play.

But, that was before I saw the video. It goes great with the song, and the futility of war theme that did them well in great tunes like "One" and "Disposable Heroes" works in its modern day context. The battlefield looks suspiciously like the Mojave Desert in California, rather than Iraq or A-Stan, but it's cool they did a video on modern day vets. No wonder Suspect liked them so much. The song doesn't have the tone of death as well as the legendary "Orion" (aka The Greatest Song Evah!) but, hey, we'll take what we can get sans Cliff Burton.

Pakistan President's Gets Punk'd By Prank Call, Almost Starts a War with India

Not Fucking Funny

In a striking similarity to the Onion article where JFK gets let in on the Cuban Missile Crisis hoax, Pakistan scrambling its air force during the Mumbai attacks was the result of a prank call. From Fox News:

A man pretending to be India's foreign minister called Pakistan's president and talked in a "threatening" manner during the Mumbai terror attacks, prompting Pakistan to put its air force on high alert, a security official and a news report said Saturday.

Dawn newspaper said authorities were investigating the circumstances of the hoax, which occurred as tensions spiked between the nuclear-armed neighbors during the attacks.

The potential for nuclear conflict between Pakistan and India has reached dangerous new levels due to Mumbai, and the fact that some joker could push central Asia towards the Urdu version of Road Warrior is very troubling. That or Pakistan's Administration is playing games with the media to deflect attention from their involvement with the attacks, as India has suggested.

The real question is how does some random schmoe have the phone number directly to Pakistan's President? If anyone knows it, please call Mr. Zadari and tell him to properly secure the NATO convoy route through Peshawar. It is becoming extremely problematic as seen by 96 trucks bound for Afghanistan being set ablaze by militants.

Note: It's in bad taste to relate international tensions to that ass clown Ashton Kutcher, but in tough times all you can do is laugh uncomfortably at how fucked up everything is.

67 Years Ago

I used to be a Pearl Harbor sailor, so shame on me for posting this so late in the day. But 67 years ago was the infamous attacks on Pearl Harbor that devastated our Pacific Fleet and formally brought us into WWII. I wrote a lengthier piece last year, but all I can think about this year is the oil leak from the USS Arizona. It's drips out steadily at the memorial almost like the entombed are talking. I wonder what they would say if they knew that America would rise from the ashes to defeat the Japanese? It's odd to think about what they would think of our country today.

General Shinseki Gets the Blessing

Our Guy

The former Chief of Staff of the Army, General (ret.) Shinseki, will lead the Department of Veteran Affairs under the Obama administration. While he's taken some flak from NCOs for coercing that horrendous Chef Boyardee beret upon the Army's soldiers, he made up for it by being right about Iraq. Right meaning we should have sent in more troops during the intial invasion to prevent wide-scale looting and squash the insurgency early on. Shinseki is a wounded veteran himself from Vietnam, so let's hope he remembers how many more there are...

21st Century UW Campus is Looking Like Early 90s PCU

Jeremy Piven Fitting in On Campus

Does anyone remember the 1993 movie PCU? It concisely summarized the attitude on college campuses during the politically correct 90s where thought crimes like not spelling "womyn" with the "y" and eating meat on Thanksgiving were met with the obligatory protest and you being labeled as an imperialist monster. People had to walk on egg shells to not indirectly offend every ethno-cultural groups since the history of civilization. And, just having a conversation with the approved "sensitivity" proved exceedingly difficult. Jeremy Piven has a good monologue in the movie where he says people need to drop the act and just go get drunk and laid (in that order).

9/11 changed the campus landscape, where causes like the plight of the Spotted Gecko Toad were temporarily put on the backburner due to more pressing issues, but a look at UW shows that we've degenerated back to the bad old days. A student, John Fay, penned an editorial in the school newspaper against gay marriage, which some may deem offensive. Not a problem, since offensive publications are the norm in our internet-driven culture, and you can always not read the article. But, an angry mob is making unclear demands and seems to just be protesting because they feel it's the right thing to do [Seattle P-I]:

The rally organizers wrote on Facebook that they're not trying to slam the paper as a whole -- they just don't like the contents of the opinion piece:

"This group is not against the paper. This group is against language that divides and language that is used to spread bigotry and hate. We have respect for the Daily and what its intended purpose is. It's purpose is to educate. Let's educate."

Seriously people, it's just an article. Being perpetually outraged at everyone else's opinions that you don't share is going to prevent you from having a good time that is an important part of being an undergrad.

Veteran Celebrity J.R. Martinez Kickin' Ass on The View

J.R. Martinez is a former 101st soldier, wounded in Karbala in 2003, and is leading the way in being a veteran celebrity by starring in the daytime soap "All My Children". He had a pretty sharp appearance on The View yesterday as well. Having a small population of veterans means they don't leave the same cultural imprint on mass media. It was different in the period after Vietnam when veterans were responsible for award-winning faves like Platoon, Born on the 4th of July, and Hamburger Hill. The unintended consequence of a smaller number of vets in Hollyweird is having the zeitgeist (who've never served) push abominable trash like War Inc. and Redacted to discuss such a significant event in modern history. Hopefully we'll see more JRs in the future to bridge being a veteran to popular culture and less bozos like Mark Cuban who think they know everything about the Iraq war...but don't know shit.

Celebrate 75 Years of Getting Legally Tanked

Consider a Holiday Theme For Your Friday Pub Crawl

75 years ago this day, Congress ratified the 21st Amendment, which repealed the odious nationwide Prohibition in our country. Thanks to the co-owner of Doyle's Public House in Tacoma for reminding us of this extremely important day, and it's very convenient that the holiday falls on a Friday, showing that there might still be a God. Modern Drunkard provides 10 reasons why booze is great, and #3 applies to all of us poindexters spending too much time reading blogs:

It unites the tribe:Thanks to TV, the Internet, cell phones, telecommuting, pharmaceuticals and video games, the average person presently spends more time physically alone than in any other era in human history. It’s an irony of the times—technology brought us out of the caves and into the cities and now it’s leading us back to the caves. We’ve been reduced to hermits shouting at one another from digital windows.

Which is no way to go through life, if you ask me. Communicating with a fellow human through fiber optics and satellite signals may be convenient, but it’s a sorry substitute for face-to-face contact.

There is nothing like alcohol to get you out of your cave and into the crowd. A handful of drinks and you suddenly feel the world could well benefit from your exalted presence. It makes you want to seek out human companionship, and once found, it sheds the veils behind which we hide. Put 20 strangers in a room and serve them water, and you’ll get some strained conversation at best. Give them booze and you’ve got yourself a party. Unrestrained laughter breaks the surface tension, friendships are formed, romance is sparked.

You’ll eventually return to your cave, to be sure, but perhaps you’ll bring someone back with you.

Here's hoping your weekend brings new strangers back to your cave-dwelling.

Bad Craziness with Mike Huckabee

(h/t Dodgeblogium for the high-larious pic)

You know what America needs in the future? A foreign policy dolt who runs a creepy 700 Club-style show with lousy sob stories about divine redemption and bad music. The Huckster may have just thrown his hat in the rink for '12 [WLWT]:

When News 5 asked about the 2012 election in an exclusive interview, the former Republican presidential contender wasn't as forthcoming.

"I'm pretty sure I'll be out there," Huckabee said. "Whether it's for myself or somebody else I may decide will be a better standard bearer, that remains to be seen."

Hopefully this gets sorted out over the next four years.

Curse of the Fobbit

Great Artwork From Steve O

The great fobbit debate is nothing new to Army culture. As Iraq's Presidency Council has signed the SOFA into law, which will require troops to fall back to bases and eventually Kuwait, it's important to highlight what problems and internal tensions our troopers are facing on some of our monstrous bases. For instance, Joe reports of a gargantuan-sized civilian nicknamed "Hogzilla" who is standing between him and his ticket home. But, the future of Afghanistan remains unclear and will no doubt require extended COIN doctrine with forces operating in spartan conditions for quite some time. That's why it was surprising to see Vampire 06, an ETT soldier in A-stan, talking about his experience with rear-echelon personnel [Afghanistan Shrugged]:

We were briefing them on our day to day activities and they were telling us about what they were told at Phoenix. What they were told was shocking and if you followed their guidance it would ensure that you were universally disliked by the ANA and would accomplish nothing here.

First, was Chai. They were told not to ever drink Chai with the ANA due to contaminated water and the possibility that you'd be poisoned. This is an idiotic statement. Chai is the social glue that holds things together here. When you meet someone you have Chai, if you disagree with someone you have Chai, you do anything here you have Chai.

I was sort of an "uppity fobbit" since I worked at the embassy in Baghdad, and I find it disturbing that decisions/advice made in the rear are having dangerous implications outside the wire. Hopefully this issue gets addressed. The guys in Embedded Tactical Teams deserve better.

"Impeach Bush" Ornament Removed From White House Tree Due to Lameness

Please Wake Us Up When BDS is Over

Some angry old hippie, a Deborah Lawrence, was chosen from Seattle's Congressional District to design the White House tree ornament. She choose the avant-garde and shockingly original political slogan: "Impeach Bush". We haven't heard that one before! Zzzz. The Seattle Times called the move "embarrassing", and the White House isn't even going to hang this taxpayer-funded monstrosity:

'Tis not the season to post calls for impeachment on the White House Christmas tree.
A spokeswoman for first lady Laura Bush said Tuesday that the White House tree will not include an ornament by a Seattle artist that supports President Bush's impeachment.

I have a suspicion that the Impeach Bush mantra is going to be around for decades on bumper stickers of aging geezers driving Subaru Outbacks. Even "Impeach Nixon" can still be spotted on the East Coast.

Lawrence's artwork isn't terrible, so you think she could've put something cool on an ornament representing Seattle's contribution to culture. Like the 20th anniversary of Sub Pop or the hometown of Matthew Broderick's character in War Games. Anything but tired old memes when the current administration has only one month to go in office.

Iranian Regime Continues Oppression of Excellent Music

A metal resurgence in Iran appears to have caught the eye of the fundamentalist thugs who are in power. Our Persian brothers and sisters in the metal militia are being rounded up for gearing up in "Satanic" outfits [Javno sourced from The Drudge Report):

Police have arrested 49 people this week in a northern Iranian city during a crackdown on "satanic" clothes, IRNA news agency reported on Thursday.
The measures are the latest in a country-wide campaign against Western cultural influence in the Islamic Republic, where strict dress codes are enforced.

"Police confronted rascals and thugs who appeared in public wearing satanic fashions and unsuitable clothing," Qaemshahr city police commander Mahmoud Rahmani told IRNA.

In principle, this is the same as Tipper Gore and her group of busybody DC wives trying to shut down culture through the Parents Music Resource Center back in the 80s. Demonizing musical genres as offensive, Satanic, or whatever has been tried before and will no doubt fail.

A Wesley Willis Kind of Christmas

Putting the Krazy Back in Kristmas

Uncle Sugar has me tied up at the moment with work, so all I got is light-bloggin'. KY Woman has a nice poem about Christmas, but famed schizophrenic, Wesley Willis (R.I.P.), summarizes it better in this flash animation.

Christmas makes people feel right at home
Christmas gives me harmonization
Christmas is Jesus Christ's birthday
That's what it is all about in the mix

In the mix, people.

Recession Blogging!

Now that it's official, let's kick off our malaise with a Subhumans tune entitled "So Much Money". See you on the unemployment lines!

I Want my MTV

White Rose's son, Kenny, will be on MTV's True Life to talk about PTSD. One might be turned off by ridiculous MTV shows like "Sex with Mom and Dad", but the network that once played music videos has a knack for debunking stereotypes about veterans. Check it out on Dec 6th.

China Rising To Mediocrity

Maybe Fat Axl was onto something when he took the better part of an eon to finally release "Chinese Democracy". Much hoopla has been made over China's rapidly developing economy and rising middle class. It seems some of the laborers want a piece of the pie as well. A scene from the protest at the Nerf Factory in Guangdong Province [USA Today]:

The workers battled security guards, turned over a police car, smashed the headlights of police motorcycles and forced their way through the factory's front gate, Guo said. They went on a rampage in the plant's offices, damaging 10 computers, the company said.

The account was confirmed Wednesday by several of the 200 or so jobless laborers peacefully milling around the street in front of the four-story factory complex covered in soot-stained white and green tiles. Small groups of workers inside the factory pressed against glass windows and stared at the crowd below. When their shift ended, they flooded into the streets and mixed with the angry workers.

And another protest the following week in Beijing[AP]:

About 300 taxi drivers went on strike in a southern Chinese city, smashing cars and demanding a crackdown on unlicensed taxis in the latest protest against illegal taxi competition in China.

Meh. Once China has hordes of people demanding big-screen TVs and government money for the mortgages they couldn't pay, you'll know that true democracy has finally taken place.

Fighting Real Crime: WA State Seat Belt "Night-time" Enforcement

With a state government near bankruptcy and job loss up the wazoo (Thousands at WaMu today), you'd think the state of Washington would seek more cost-effective law enforcement methods. But the bureauweenies in Olympia have come up with a costly scheme to "get tough" on that great scourge of our society: people not wearing their seatbelts at night. From the Washington Traffic Safety Commission:

Research shows that aggressive enforcement of the seat belt law, combined with publicity, create the greatest driver behavior change; in short, this formula gets people to buckle up. The threat of getting a ticket is a powerful motivator, far more believable than the threat of being in a collision.

This complete waste of the police's time has been advertised on TV and is costing a $1M. The Safety Commission asserts righteously states that "There is greater social deviance by those who do not wear seat belts". Well, there's greater social deviance by teenagers who sag their pants halfway down their ass, but that doesn't mean the entire state has to give up its 4th Amendment rights to be hassled for committing an offense that does no harm to anyone else. Cradle to grave nanny state. Nurse Ratched, eat your heart out.

Ro Show Probably Canceled After One Night

What a Babe!

There's not much to say about Rosie O' Donnell that hasn't already been said for. She's your typical low hanging fruit for right-wing bloggers just like Al Gore or Code Pink. But here's a new blurb from the NY Times regarding her floptastic variety hour:

Rosie O’Donnell’s homage to television variety shows of the 1970s, “Rosie Live,” seems destined to be a one-night-only event. On the “Ask Ro” feature on the Web site, rosie.com, Ms. O’Donnell wrote, “there will b no more” in response to a question about the future of the show, which was broadcast on NBC on Wednesday.

Damn, even Chevy's Chase talk show lasted close to a month in '93, what a loser.

The Ultimate Strawman: U.S. Military Won't Do Its Job With Dems in Charge

Strawman: Because the Washington Post Needs a Good Sunday Front-Pager To Keep From Going Under

One of the dumbest arguments perpetuated by the far-left, anti-military citizens of our nation is that the senior brass of the military is going to be openly hostile to an Obama administration. Morans speaking lies about an "October Surprise" to prevent the election from happening and ridiculous speculation about Gen. Petraeus walking off the job will always percolate amongst the netroots. It's difficult to argue with this type of logic, just like it's difficult to argue that space aliens won't land tomorrow to give us all anal probes. There's no reason to believe that either one will happen. That's why it was a bit of a shock that treasonous Karen DeYoung devoted an entire front page article to the issue that the military's probably not going to instigate a coup (what a relief). Of course she had to present the fire beneath the ash [WaPo]:

In an October survey by the Military Times, nearly 70 percent of more than 4,000 officers and enlisted respondents said they favored McCain, while about 23 percent preferred Obama. Only African American service members gave Obama a majority.

In exit polls, those who said they had "ever served in the U.S. military" made up 15 percent of voters and broke 54 percent for McCain to 44 percent for Obama. "As a culture, we are more conservative and Republican," a senior officer said.

Obama has said he will meet with the chairman of the Joint Chiefs as well as the service chiefs during his first week in office. At the top of his agenda for that meeting will be what he has called the military's "new mission" of planning the 16-month withdrawal timeline for Iraq. Senior officers have publicly grumbled about the risk involved.

What can I say except that you do what your told in the military. Why is the concept of "duty to country" such a difficult concept to understand for these people. The military survived the Carter administration without massive desertions and mutiny, it'll probably survive Obama too.

It's the same type of thing with SECDEF Gates getting picked by Obama to stay on. Pundits worldwide are questioning his political motivation for staying , and the only person to suggest he wants to "serve his country" was Greyhawk. In true disgruntled fashion, Gates had kept a "countdown clock" until he was set to leave in 2009...I guess he has to extend it now. He's probably not doing the job because of his own self-infatuation and he loves his name in the paper, but rather just doing his job because that's what you gotta do (like most Americans).

Reading between the lines of the media trying to paint the military as some back-alley think tank with crooked ties, it's pretty obvious that some "change" is coming down the pike in the form of serious budget cuts. Whatever, it's probably best our nation spent that money on AIG swag bags and motorized scooters funded by Medicare.

Lil' Jon's Cooking Show

It might be wrong to enjoy this video, but it's just so damn funny. This blog is probably in some FBI database now for pederasty.

On a tip from my asshole friend

Indian Police Blame Laskhar-e-Taiba, Pak-Indian Tensions Getting Ugly

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

As the smoke clears from the abominable atrocities committed in Mumbai, speculation of how nations respond and whodunnit abound throughout the international media. Jules Crittenden has a pretty good round-up of what's being said, and, unsurprisingly, India's leadership is enraged. It's no secret that nuclear-armed Pakistan and India are not the greatest of friends, and reportedly the thugs responsible came from a terrorist group in Pakistan. From the Daily Mail:

One police officer said: ‘That, thankfully, never happened because we managed to stop them.’ Police insist that Kasab confessed to being a member of the Pakistani terror group Lashkar-e-Taiba, which has denied involvement in the carnage, and claimed he and the others were trained in the Muslim country.

Long War Journal has a pretty good synopsis of the Lashkar-e-Taiba:

Indian and US intelligence officials believe the Pakistan-based Lashkar-e-Taiba was behind the attacks. The capture of Kasab, along with signals intelligence, and a satellite phone and GPS recovered by police indicate the group was behind the attack.

The Indian Mujahideen -- a front group for the Lashkar-e-Taiba, the Harkat ul Jihad al Islami, and the Students Islamic Movement of India -- claimed responsibility for the attack. The Indian Mujahideen has been behind several mass-casualty terror attacks in India over the past two years.

Lashkar-e-Taiba has an extensive network in southern and Southeast Asia. A senior US military intelligence official described the group as "al Qaeda junior," as it has vast resources, an extensive network, and is able to carry out complex attacks throughout its area of operations. "If by some stroke of luck al Qaeda collapsed, LeT (Lashkar-e-Taiba) could step in and essentially take its place."

The relationship between al Qaeda and Lashkar-e-Taiba is complex, the official noted. "While Lashkar-e-Taiba is definitely subordinate to al Qaeda in many ways, it runs its own network and has its own command structure. The groups often train in each others' camps, and fight side by side in Afghanistan."

If this terrorist attack in Mumbai was backed by Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence, like the suicide bombing on the Indian Embassy in Kabul, the hostility between the nations will only get worse. There's also reports that Pakistani troops are being pulled from the northwestern tribal areas to be garrisoned along the Indian border. Pakistan's new democratic government deserves international support, but they have to be held accountable for allowing terrorism to fester inside their borders. A tough tightrope to walk for a nation like the U.S. A successful Indian entrepreneur writes in the WSJ that this is Obama's first international challenge. The stakes are incredibly high and the consequences for failed policy are enormous. I hope our next president doesn't let us down, because solutions to Pakistan's terrorist problem are not easy to come by.

From the mind of Barack Obama "I picked the wrong week to quit smoking!"

ZOMG! America's First Gen Y Congressman

Politico has an exclusive interview with newly elected Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Il), the first congressman born in the 80s:

Q. In the House, you will have 434 new coworkers. How will you convince them to look past your age?

A. Well I've found it's a lot like high school. You show up, you do your homework, you ask intelligent questions, you bring forward well-thought-out ideas and you quickly earn the respect of your peers, and that's what I've had to do in the state legislature.

Hopefully this pizzaface will cease text messaging his BFFs in the bathroom stall and understand that he's running a "big country" here. God have mercy on us all.

Inside Limousine Liberal Land

NYMag goes deep undercover on the Upper East Side amidst the cheese-spreads and merlot to get footage of a bona fide MoveOn.Org meeting. If you ever wondered what it's like to be a fly on the wall in a meeting full of over-educated, under-worked, self-righteous New Yorkers, now's your chance. The correspondent looks like he's about to set himself on fire like that guy from Airplane!. Thanks to Eric for finding this gem. If I'm going to get political advice from anyone in the big apple, it'll be the Staten Island Madman, not these geeks.